A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have to admit that Im fuming at the moment. I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half because of many reasons, but a few of them is his anger-issues and that he could never give me what I needed. So, I want it settled once and for all, if he really has a right to judge me afterwards like he has been. During our last conversation I asked him why he had been ignoring my messages for a week. He said he had been too busy for me. When I replied yes, "thats just how you are", he got super offended and started bashing me for being rude, aggressive, attacking him. He said that I had told him he is selfish and doesn't put anyone before himself. I never said those words, but he interpretted my "thats just how you are" to meaning all of this. After a time of him letting me how horribly I treat him, I told him to please talk properly to me. Again he lashed out at me, over something that I consider to not be an attack whatsoever? He said this basically mean I wanted him to burn in hell? I told him that asking him to calm down and talk properly does NOT mean I want him to burn in hell, but he refused to listen.So my question is: is it really ok to get so angry like that over what I said? And is it really ok to be "too busy" for your girl, to ignore them for days to end? He is a student, no job on the side. I am a student myself, but I always had time to write him a message. It only takes a few minutes, right? He however was too busy to write back to me for DAYS. And he got pissed off when I express that this makes me sad. I just feel horrible after how he has talked to me, and after ending it he really went all out with refusing to pay back money he owes me. He says I should be happy he even bothered to talk to me after how rude I was to him (saying "thats just how you are", and "talk to me properly"). He on the other hand didn't feel any remorse when he called me childish, accuse me for attacking him, threathening me to not pay back money he owes (which is at the end told me he wouldnt pay back), telling me I treat my friends better than him, and that I am a liar, I walk over people, I need to go to a mental institution and get myself checked, because he "is seriously concerned for me and everyone around me". I told him I had been afraid of him during our relationship, he took this to meaning I thought he would attack anyone around him!I did ask what about what I said was that horrible, but that would only cause another uproar. As well as he made up a lot of things! He accused me of lying etc, when I never did, and putting words in my mouth. Time and time again I asked, please, lets not fight, we've both hurt each other, can we leave it at that? But he wouldn't stop, and told me that I was the one who wanted to fight, not him. I sat and listened to all he had to say, and at the very end he said he would give me one last chance to act "normally" and treat him like a human. I said in return that I had acted normal and didn't know how to behave otherwise, because I really did do my best to stay calm and not aggitate him even more. He took this to meaning I didn't care at all, and I didn't see what I had done wrong...! So I was to never talk to him ever again. Yes, this all makes me very upset. And to top it off he has his friends telling him he shouldn't care to give me back what he owes me since I haven't been nice to him! So I want to know, once and for all, did I deserve getting treated that way?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2010): You didn't deserve to be treated that way. The fact that you've read what you've written should show u that you didn't deserve it. He is a huge ass. Just move on. Don't ever let anybody treat you in a way that is anything less than what makes you happy xxx
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 October 2010):
Of course you didn't deserve it. But then that's why he chose you and treated you the way you did. He knew that you'd sit there and take it, rather then pull the rug from under him. I'd just get away from this guy.
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