A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:At the beginning of this year, I became really good friends with this guy in my class. We hung out and talked all the time for nearly seven months and flirted all the time. At my birthday party, we were dared to kiss and for a week after that, I was sure he was going to ask me out, but he never did. A couple more weeks passed and I told him I liked him, but he said he didn't feel the same way, so we stayed friends. Before the holidays, we went through a really tough week -- I had a whole bunch of serious issues with my family and he nearly got expelled...after that, he said he couldn't deal with being my confidant for the moment because he had to focus on staying in school, which I understood and I tried to help where I could. During the holidays, my dad contacted him through facebook...my dad doesn't approve of him as a friend, so I know what he said was probably very insulting. I haven't seen the actual exchange, but my friend told me my dad was being judgmental about both of us...he told me he'd responded to my dad twice, but didn't want to get involved in my problems again because it had taken so much out of him last time. So, he blocked my account completely and I didn't talk to him for weeks after that. Then, to try to fix things between us, I created another facebook account and impersonated another close friend of mine. Then, I wrote to my other friend to try to convince him I was back to normal and over him. He wrote back saying I was pathetic and when I tried to call, he didn't pick up, so I called several times. When he did answer, he cursed at me and told me to stop calling, so I hung up without saying anything else. I sent him a long text apologizing and trying to explain that I was just trying to move past all this, but he never called back. Was he just mad because I called so many times, or does he think I wrote those emails my dad sent? Is our friendship salvageable? What should I do??
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (28 February 2011):
Why would you want to salvage it if this guy can't even talk to you about what happened in a normal way? You're practically on your hands and knees begging for him to come back and you even apologized to him on paper. What does he do? He calls you pathetic and he curses you. Great friend you got there. A real charmer. And you want to keep him? Where's your self respect?
Though I would be angry with my dad if he pulled such a thing with me, your friend's reaction to this whole deal gives the impression your dad was right not to like him. Also he got expelled, which isn't really speaking in his favor either. Talk to your dad about it, like CaringGuy said. Get to know why your dad felt the need to step in because parents tend to only do such things in an attempt to protect their child. And then move on from this douchebag friend of yours and NEVER let yourself be stepped on again.
A
female
reader, The Girl with the Diver's Hair +, writes (27 February 2011):
Your father must have said some pretty hurtful and threatening things to this guy for him to be acting like that woth you. But he should'nt be taking it out on you! He should tell you what your father said and then see what happens. That is if he talks to you. In my opinion i would keep clear of this guy. He may be upset but dob't take it out on your father for what he did. He was just trying to protect you. Ask your father what he said and why he did it. He may have caught up on somthing you didnt.
Good Luck. E x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 February 2011):
I don't know what your father sent, but whatever it was, it blew this friend of yours right out the water.
That being said, this friend of yours nearly got expelled, which is as bad sign (because it means your father was right), and this friend's reaction to you has been extremely callous. He would have known that it was your father sending those emails, not you. Yet he has really been hellbent on taking it out on you.
I hate to say it, but your father may have had very good reason to scare this other guy off. Not that I'm saying your father was right to do it this way.
So, I suppose basically you had a father who screwed up behind your back, and a friend who doesn't really seem to be a friend.
I certainly don't think you should contact this guy again -whatever you had is gone. But you do need to talk and listen to your father. Ask him what is was about this guy that he did not like. And please listen, because I have a feeling your father may have been right about this other guy.
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