A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey i was just wondering do you think every guy deserves a second chance? In the begning of are relationship i told my bf if he ever cheats on me its over. (i was cheated on before by me ex and i kept giving him chances over and over and i dont wanna go through that again) And the other day i told my bf i love him with all my heart then he said why would you leave me if i ever cheat then i said cause thats mest up. Then he said if you love some one youl give them a second chance then i said if you love some one they shouldnt need a second chance. I think he was just testing the boundries cause i know he never has we were talking bout future stuff. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): If he cheated no way in hell. Might as well tell him you're a carpet. Remember that Bushism: "Fool me once shame on you...If you fooled me once you can't fool me again."
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 I disagree that he is already planning to cheat, contemplating it but that doesn't mean he is definitely going to do it. People tend to contemplate a lot of thing, whether or not it's out of curiosity or because they feel it's something they might have to do for a variety of reasons. People contemplate suicide and yet, a lot of people don't go through with it, some of them already knew they were never going to do it. People contemplate robbing a shop but not everyone does that either. Heck, some people contemplate marrying someone but that might never happen either!
Just because he's asking about it and might be contemplating it, doesn't mean it's a sure thing that he's going to cheat on you!
About giving him a second chance IF he does. It depends. Now read what I have to say before yelling out about offenses one might gather from that first sentence of this paragraph...People feel things for other people. It might be love, it might be a sexual attraction, it might be hate, it could be whatever and you can't help what you feel. Chances are you didn't force yourself into feeling a particular thing for someone. With that being said, I think if he happened to think he 'fell in love' with someone else and ended up cheating on you then ended up regretting it and begging for your forgiveness then yes he deserves a second chance but if he waits for you to find out then no, I don't think he does.
I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, big ben  +, writes (23 August 2010):
if anyone talks about 2nd chances its already on there mind to cheat ......GET RID
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 August 2010):
No second chance at this stage in your life. If you'd been in a relationship for some time, and it had been going stale and someone cheated, then maybe that could be fixed. Your boyfriend is talking crap. If you love someone, you don't cheat. So why would someone who cheats then expect a second chance? Not to put a fine point to it, but your boyfriend sounds like he's hiding something. This is a very bizarre conversation for you to have. If you love someone, and they hurt you, you have every right to dump them. I'd suggest quietly looking into what your boyfriend has been up to. He sounds guilty.
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A
female
reader, callista +, writes (23 August 2010):
Yeh - i think this really is about testing boundaries. just hang on - if you really luv each other then why ask the question? I think this is only something you can contemplate if it happens. Don't spoil what you have now.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (23 August 2010):
 When I was dating, B.H. (before husband) I never believed in the breakup, makeup. I only gave one chance, cheating is a deal breaker for me that's grounds for being kicked to the curb. If they couldn't hack it the first time what makes me think they'll be able to cut it a second time? Just think that it's making cheating ok by giving them a second take. More or less a little slap on the hand. Now, the married aspect of it and affairs..I've heard of couples getting through that especially if children are involved. On the other hand, I've always heard of guys repeatedly cheating and their wives still taking them back. God forbid if my husband ever did that to me then he wouldn't live past 24 hours, I would be one of those wives you see on the 10 o'clock news. Don't condone cheating so there are no second chances with me.
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