A
male
age
30-35,
*ellium
writes:Hello people,I think I screwed up hard and need help! I was talking in bed with my girlfriend (talking about sex), until the point came that she said "I'd like to see your ex, I want to know how she looks like". I am a such stupid person, sadly damn honest, that I said that "she had a dream body, oh lord", exactly as that. Truly for me, my girlfriend at this time is millions and gazillions of times more beautiful than my ex, and has also the perfect body in my eyes. After I told that, she got pissed and turned around and said "leave me alone and go to sleep". I stupidly started arguing with her, witch made all even worse. I love her more than anything else before. If I tell her the truth, that she is much better looking than my ex, I think she will not believe it. What can I do so that she forgets that fucked up commentary of mine?? Please help! I'm desperate!Cheers
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 August 2010):
Unlucky. All I can say is get buying stuff (flowers and all that) and continue to say sorry and that your girlfriend is perfect. Either she will forgive or she won't.
A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (24 August 2010):
 I think she was silly to ask that question, but yes, your answer was very insensitive. It was like saying she had your ideal girl's body. You said she had a dream body. That will make your girlfriend think that means she doesn't compare. Ouch! That's gotta make her feel bad! I agree with YouWish. You should have backed up that comment with, "but it didn't compare to your body", or, "but she was a bitch. You have a dream body and you're a wonderful person. I can't believe my luck finding you etc, etc". I know you were just being honest, and being a guy. Guy's love a beautiful female body. But you have to be considerate of other people's feelings, especially your girlfriend's. And no girl wants their partner to tell them about how hot they think other girls are, especially their ex, it makes them feel inferior. It's hard enough being surrounded by images of the "ideal" female body in the media, without hearing their partner talk about their ex's dream body. If she is as special as you say she is, you should make her feel that way. Ok so you spoke without thinking, that's forgivible. You need to make it up to her, and prove to her that you do think she is the most beautiful woman to you. Write her an honest letter, note or card, saying what you said here. You feel like an idiot for saying what you did. She is time is millions and gazillions of times more beautiful than your ex, and has also the perfect body in your eyes and you don't ever want her to think otherwise. Appologise for making her feel bad by not thinking before you spoke. Attach this card to a bunch of flowers, chocolates, or something special you know she'll like, and take her out for a meal, or something she'll like to do. If she's sensitive, you need to make it up to her. Don't feel too bad. She shouldn't have asked a question which could give her an answer hse didn' want to hear, and you simply answered honestly. But you have to understand you could have handled it better by not hurting her feelings and you need to make her believe she is special to you.I'm sure you can make it up to her ;) Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Heh, you've got some work to do dislodging that foot from your mouth. If any girl asks you that question, you tell her the truth - that the ex doesn't even compare to her.
Saying that your ex has a "dream body, oh lord" is basically telling your current girlfriend that you still mentally lust after your ex. She could break up with you over that one. What if she said that about a former ex of hers? You'd feel inadequate and would be comparing yourself to the ex!
Your solution's going to involve you *showing* her with nice things how much your girlfriend means to you, and that you can't even think of other girls when you're with her. It will take some time, because that answer was pretty hurtful, especially since you didn't back it up with "she had a dream body, oh lord, but she doesn't compare to you!"
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): To be honest, yes you were stupid to say that but it's an innocent mistake! These things happen.
I would say that your gf is being immature and attention seeking in this. I take it you apologised and told her how much you love her and her body. If that's the case and she is still pissed then I think she is majorly over-reacting and I have no sympathy for her. She will need to get over it and realise how silly she's being.
Your gf actually asked what your ex looked like. What did she expect? I imagine she was hoping you would bad mouth her or criticise the ex's looks or something, just fishing around. Why else would she want to see what the ex looked like.
It seemed to me that her plan has backfired and now she is annoyed. Just leave her to it until she gets over it. I hate it when women behave like this, they make us all look silly, emotional and insecure. Make sure she knows you love her and how she looks and then just leave it. She'll get over it. And if she doesn't then she needs to grow up.
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