A
female
age
30-35,
*lexS
writes:I'am in such a stuck situation please help. Ive been single now for a while and ive been seeing these two guys. They both really attracted to me both are really sweet and seem like the really know how to treat a girl. The problem is out of the two guys im leaning more towards to other guy (Thomas) hes the perfect age, personality is great but how do i let the other know i just want to be friends without hurting his feelings ? I still want to be good friends. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AlexS +, writes (24 August 2010):
AlexS is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou so much the advice really heleped and Yes Ellie Ride thomas does know i like him :) thankyou soo much ! xxx
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 August 2010):
You're just going to have to bite the bullet and end it. Yes, he will be hurt. But you can't just 'stay friends' after all this. If your heart is set on the other guy, then end it completely and let him move on. Or people will just think you're keeping around as a spare. You have made your choice, and you must now respect the other guy and let him go completely out of your life so he can move on. Friends won't work out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): You got to be fair to the one you let go. Your desire to be friends may stay just a desire. If he finds out you two timed him then let him go when you were done checking him out, because he failed the comparison test to the other guy, I suspect friendship may not be something he wants to give. So tell him you're not "together" with him then ask to stay friends, and see where it goes.
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A
female
reader, cocoqueen88  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 I don't think there is a way to do it without hurting his feelings if he really likes you. just be honest with him and tell him that friendship is all you want.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (24 August 2010):
I have learned there is no painless way to do this.
So, like ripping off a bandaid, be quick about it.
Don't continue leading on the other guy because you don't want to hurt his feelings. His feelings will be plenty hurt if you keep going like this.
Get clean, this week. Tell the guy that as much you like him, you're not into him. Give him closure so he can move on and find a girl that is suitable for him. Also, it is up to him to decide whether he wants to stay friends or not. Suggest you would like this, but don't give him false hope.
That's it. Don't make a drag out of it; just tell him how it is. He will appreciate your straight forwardness.
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A
female
reader, Ellie Ride  +, writes (24 August 2010):
ummmm, tough one.
Well, does this Thomas know that you like him first?
For the other guy, i suggest you talk to him soon, and just one on one.
But i wouldn't suggest the "i just wanna be friends" crap.
If i was a guy and a girl told me that, well lets just say i wouldn't be a very happy camper!
Let him know that his is still really special to you, and remind him of all the good times you guys had. Tell him the truth about Thomas, and tell him that he is welcome to say wateva he wants and that you'll be opened minded.
Make sure you ask him wat he is thinking. And if he knows how to treat a girl right, than im sure he wont hate you. He might be upset but he'll get over it.
And make sure you tell him, that you'll always be there too. You wouldn't want him thinking you're rejecting him foreva. i hope that helps
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