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I want to do PORN!!

Tagged as: Family, Pornography, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 August 2010) 13 Answers - (Newest, 27 October 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I want to do porn, but i come from a religious family and i dont want to disgrace them but its something that ive really tooken an interest to, i have the confidence and body to do it, and i have this really bad sex addiction which seems quite unhealthy for a female..

what shall i do? xx

View related questions: confidence, porn, sex addict

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A male reader, hardinproper United States +, writes (27 October 2013):

Hi. me again. I just thought of something: Try chatting with some women who do or have done porn and ask them for advice.

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A male reader, hardinproper United States +, writes (27 October 2013):

If doing porn makes you happy then you should do it. Remember that society's negative outlook on promiscuity (especially when it comes to females) has, in my opinion, been created and constantly groomed by the jealous, the insecure people, the haters and the ugly unattractive people who have a hard time getting laid in the first place. So the perception is clouded, don't let it also cloud your decision on doing what you want to do with your body.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (28 August 2010):

Miamine agony auntGamine is totally right, please listen carefully to her advice. I'd be a hypocrite if I told you that no woman should enter the sex industry, especially since I like pornography myself. I have also pondered if I could do some sex work, the money is tempting and so is the things that you experience. (meeting new people, negotiating contracts, turn sex into an art)

But pondering and thinking about the sex industry is different from actually doing the job. Like Gabrielle, I know my limitations, it takes a special type of woman or man who can do pornography safely. And that's not me.

Your bored.... you feel that people are trying to run your life.. well going into pornography without knowledge and with issues unsolved is the worst thing you can do. To be in the sex business successfully, you have to solve all your problems first. Then it's all about money, and about whether you look good on film. Sex has nothing to do with pornography (funny enough)

You've moved away, now your bored. You screw any man who looks good to you, you don't set goals and you don't have values.

Noone can walk through life like this. Even the porn stars have goals. Some want to work for a year, save tons of money and get out. Some want to bring respectability to the sex industry and therefore work to make more interesting porn. Some want to be big stars with plenty of fans, and spend hours on their makeup, fitness and also make sure they concentrate on their careers and make sure they are more than just another "porn girl"...

You are not strong enough or sensible enough to enter this industry, few of us are. Boredom is a sin, you've one life to live and your wasting it. You have sex with guys you don't respect, your using them and they are using you. All due to boredom, because you haven't used your clever mind to draw up a lifeplan that will suit you.

Where do you want to be next year, where will you be in 10years time, where will you be on your death bed. Life won't just happen, we have to plan it, and doing porn because your bored dosen't sound like much of a plan.

One young girl who got into pornography (can't remember the name) she knew she wanted to be the biggest porn star ever. She got on the bus, turned up at the agents, and then set out to be a big, famous, highly paid star. That's what she wanted to do, and she did it.. She was the highest paid star, and brought trouble to the industry when they found out that she started to young. That was her plan, she wasn't bored, she wasn't sex crazed, she wanted to do porn just to do porn. Same as people who want to be singers or actresses, that's what they want to do, they are not hiding or escaping from something.

What do you want to do.. what's the thing that drives you forward. You don't want to be an accountant, fine, you don't want to be a wife, fine.. so what gives you passion, what makes you spark... bored masturbation isn't much of a hobby to make it your goal for life.

Here, please check out this website, and do the lessons included. I want you to find out who you are, what you want, and where you want to go in life.

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

At the moment, your a bored girl, who has no respect for herself or the people she sleeps with. Your abusing sex, it's nothing special, even your masturbation is boring. Find out something that makes you feel alive and everything about your life will change.

Your not daddy's little girl, or mummy's princess, your growing into an adult, but you haven't decided to stand on your own two feet and make something of yourself.

You have a lot of work to do... and if you want to do pornography for the right reasons, with the right mind, and your intelligence behind you.. well go for it.. but for now, you got to find out what kind of adult you want to become.

You make your life, and life is short... who and what do you want to be, and what do you need to do to get there.. if your life is boring, well that's your own fault because you can't be bothered to make it better, and you'll regret it when you get old.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

okay erm first of all i just want to thank you all for you advice, i have taken on board everything you have said, im 19 years old, and i think i havent been thinking clearly, im not going to rush into anything, im not a silly girl who justs wants to do something because i think its cool, and im not just trying to rebel because of my family though.

im quite a well educated girl, (even though i dont sound it!) i suppose atm im just bored with my life! im fed up of everyone telling me whats best for me, my dad wants me to be an accountant, my mother wants me to get an arranged marriage,i end up shagging every guy i meet so i carnt seem to find a boyfriend (i know this is the reason why but i just crnt help it :(... i supppose i saw it as a way out of this life im so depressd with, i moved from my hometown a couple of months ago, so i never see my best friends, so i dont feel ive got anyone to speak to :( i know this has like gone off the subject of my question so sorry, but i just dont know what to do, i feel like if i did something like that it wud be a newlife, im not sayin its the best choice, but im not having much luck with other choices tbh :( x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

im 19 x

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (25 August 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntYou haven't mentioned how old you are, but the site says 18-21, so I'll assume that's accurate.

First off, you say you have an addiction. Have you tried to treat it? As someone's said, it's an industry where there are people who are very good at exploiting addicts (whether of sex or of drugs).

You won't neccessarily be forced to do anything you don't want to unless you fall in with the wrong sort of people (and that's where the addiction part becomes a worry again). But the question is whether you really want to do it at all. It's not a lifestyle that's easy to walk away from and it requires a certain outlook on life that very few people have. To actually make a successful career in the industry, a person needs to be (surprise!) intelligent, sensible, practical - and capable of handling herself and managing her finances.

I walked away because I was neither of those things and, fortunately for me, never needed the money.

If you're not those things, at best you do a year, make a little money and get out with a part of your life that you can never talk about to anyone which may come and haunt you when you least expect it. At worst - you really don't want to think about that.

Let me repeat the advice I normally give to young people who want to do porn. If you MUST, do softcore picture sets for a year, if you can still handle it, move on to hardcore porn when you're at least 21.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (24 August 2010):

dirtball agony auntMia, they aren't forced, but "strongly encouraged" often with the promise of more money. Many girls do report feeling like they didn't have a choice, but because they got paid, they don't feel it was rape. It is one of those borderline things in the industry that people need to be aware happens so they can avoid it. The thing is that the industry is looking for girls who are compliant and take orders. By standing up for herself, it shows the director she's not willing to comply with what they want and she's not likely to get work again.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (23 August 2010):

Miamine agony auntHold on Person12345, there are different types of pornography, and I'm sure the women are allowed to say what acts they will and will not do. Not every porn actress does anal. Some porn actresses don't swallow, and the semen ends up on their skin instead. I'm sure you can say what you don't feel comfortable with, but then you will find you get less work. Women in porn do the extreme and uncomfortable things because the pay is much better, they get a bigger audience and find it easier to get repeat bookings.

It's work, if your forced to do things that you don't want to do, that becomes rape and you can go to the police. That's why you need a good business head, you need to set out the terms of your contract carefully, what acts you find disgusting, whether you will do women and men, more than one person, cum shots, anal sex, or if you will only do soft porn.

Same as the girls who strip and lap dance. They are not forced to give out sex, but they get paid less, are demanded less and usually loose their jobs.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (23 August 2010):

dirtball agony auntSex addiction isn't healthy, male or female. Person12345 is right. There is a lot of stuff that goes on in porn that is very ugly. What you see in a video is not the whole shoot. Shoots can last for hours. Porn isn't about the sex, it's about how the sex is portrayed.

The new girl is often the plaything of people who will take advantage of her. Mia is right that you should take care of your addiction first and then if you still want to get into porn, go in with a business mindset.

To me you sound like a niave young girl who will be quickly used up and spit out. Don't prove me right.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks i understand where your coming from, and im aware that its not just having sex, most of the girls are faking all that stuff, my friend knows one of the camera guys on a set and he was telling how they have to tell the girls what to do, im just really interested in it, and i masturbate like 3 times a day just out of boredom, i mean if i did that on video i could get paid! x

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (23 August 2010):

person12345 agony auntI think you should deal with your sex addiction first. An addiction is not something that can be "cured" by more of the "substance." Porn is not glamorous, especially for a new girl. You'll have to do things that are really painful and smile. That's the job of the new girl. Do you enjoy anal sex? Do you enjoy swallowing? Because that will be an enormous part of your job. This isn't just having sex, it's a job. You will have to have sex, hardcore intense often painful sex no matter what. You can't say you just don't feel like it, you're not in the mood. This is your job. You have to do it when they tell you and how they tell you to. You shouldn't get into porn to have sex. If you like the industry, you think the industry is important or something, then go for it. Just remember porn isn't glamorous, like Jenna Jameson on Oprah. It's not just sex. All that violent stuff, anal stuff, gang bangs, double anal, triple penetration, that's the new girl. Someone has to do all that, no matter how gross, how painful, how sticky. Don't forget that. And don't forget the porn industry is an industry. It's not a bunch of people filming sex. It's a giant corporation. Enormous.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (23 August 2010):

Miamine agony auntSort out your sex addiction.. pornography is a job it's not about pleasure. If you have a sex addiction you will be badly used and will not think with a proper business brain about your well being and your career. Working in the sex industry isn't a place to hide and refuse to deal with your problems. Go and book an appointment with the family planning clinic. Tell them about your problem and ask to see a counsellor who deals in sexuality.

*NHS... http://www.nhs.uk/Pages/HomePage.aspx

Type in your postcode to find the location of your nearest family planning clinic.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (23 August 2010):

If you want to do porn, then you need to accept that maybe your religious family will take time to come around to it. But you must do what you want to do. So if you are sure you want to do it, then go for it.

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