A
female
age
41-50,
*hatsTheDeal
writes:Ok so I was with my ex for 8 months. We lived together, both had our own kids, the works. I was madly in love with him as I thought he was as well. Well we had a huge fight and he ended up moving out. I called/texted/emailed him almost daily. It was bad!! He was completely ignoring me and it was driving me crazy that he was doing this to me. Someone that I thought loved me! Well after being broke up for about 5 weeks he shows up telling me he misses me and we got back together. Long distance this time. I went and saw him a few times and things just weren't the same to me. Well I texted him about things being different and long distance relationships are hard (I was going to move to be with him when we found a place) and he text back "so we can stop then"!! I was astonished because that is not what I was saying. I was just trying to communicate with him (hence the reason for the first breakup...bad communication)! Nothing...he has ignored me since! So I finally just told him it was over and I was not going to put up with this ignoring me crap anymore. So that is it...why in the world did he come back and tell me he loved me to just start playing games again?? I haven't contacted him since....it has been 3 days, but I am just stunned that a man in his 30's can act this way! Why is he doing this??
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broke up, got back together, long distance, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): In this relationship, I recommend the three-day, three-week, three-month rule.
If he leaves for three days, he needed to cool off. Dismiss it.
If he leaves for three months, he realized you were the one for him and is back for keeps.
If he leaves for three weeks, he missed the sex. Don't take him back unless there is a committment involved.
Stop texting him. Stop calling him. Let him come to you. It won't be easy; but, in the long run, it will be easier than going through this over and over again.
When he comes to you, be firm with your stand. Think about what you want from the relationship and don't back down. He is going to be the most agreeable when he comes to you.
A
female
reader, WhatsTheDeal +, writes (24 August 2010):
WhatsTheDeal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your replies. I know you are both right and I am continuing to not contact him. I guess the ignoring game is just bothersome and is one of the worse things you can do to someone...especially someone you supposedly love! I will try to keep strong and move on. I know in my heart I deserve better!
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A
female
reader, curleywhirlyhurly  +, writes (24 August 2010):
he is playing hard to get my friend dump him for he will always be doing this to you girl power !!! xxxxx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 August 2010):
Doesn't it strike you that this man had children with one woman, and that relationship failed, and now he has split up with you not once, but TWICE and both times has acted so immaturely. All the signs point that this guy is hugely immature, and a major commitment phobe. He does it because he has the emotional capacity of a snake. He slithers around here and there preying on unsuspecting women. Please, PLEASE ditch him. Don't look for any other explanations. There is only one. - he's got major immaturity problems. That's all you need to know.
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