A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i fancy my manager at work, hes 10 years older than me, hes married though, we flirt alot and when we go out for drinks we get quite touchy feeling, i know he wont leave his wife, and i wouldnt want him to but i really want to have sex with him i think its just because i know hes off boundaries, but were having another works party soon and we always get far too drunk and start to mess about and i know if we're on our own then something will definatly happen, i like him, hes a nice person, but i just want sex with him that all i know i sound really mean but i just crnt step away from temptation :Shelp? xx
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at work, drunk, flirt, my boss Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Easy. Develop a hearing problem at work. When he comes over and says something flirty, say, "WHAT? I didn't catch what you said?" Make him repeat himself over and over again. That will get old for him quickly. Make sure you draw enough attention that all your co-workers are looking at you when he does have to repeat himself.
The other fix is to stop going out for drinks and leave after a short time at a works party.
It's pretty obvious to a guy who wants to sleep around when a woman has no boundaries in place. Yours seem pretty non-existent to him, so he feels comfortable flirting with you. I have seen it over and over again. The women who are sexually available and can't seem to see that it's a bad idea to sleep with the boss wind up f'ed over both literally and figuratively. They are bedded by they guy who then finds a way to fire them. It's classic. It's like that bad joke by Groucho Marx who said he wouldn't want to belong to any club that had the bad taste to want him as a member. You may sleep with the boss but that will certainly not win his respect, in fact, quite the opposite. It will label you forever in his mind as the party girl and my guess is your job will be very precarious after that.
Good luck with setting boundaries. Sounds like you need to think about those a wee bit more than you have.
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Do you have to have sex with every man that flirts with you. Just tell him to stop, it's not appropriate at work. Besides he's also in a dangerous situation, you could make a complaint and accuse him of sexual harassment.
Remind him he is married and tell him to go away.
Your young and fresh, sure he wants to play around, but in the end your the one who will have to pay.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Cut the flirting on your end, stop going out to drinks with him I'm sure there's a fraternization policy, and when he gets touchy feeling brush him off and tell him let's keep this professional. He'll get the idea.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlook, i understand what all of you are saying, ofcourse i dont want to be classed as the slut, and i dont want to be a homewrecker, but i dont ask him to flirt with me, i have tried not talking to him aswell but then, he'll come over my desk and start talking to me, i really carnt leave my job :( i just need to know ways on how to either avoid him, or to keep it strictly business and stop the flirting xx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 August 2010):
Leave your job. You need to respect that he's married. If you can't, then later in life when you're hurt by someone, no one will care. Also, this is the sort of thing that can give someone a bad reputation. One fling with a married man, and women won't trust you, and men will think you're cheap. Don't underestimate how much something like this can follow you around and affect your future. Good guys don't like women who are happy to wreck marriages. Good female friends don't like other women being around their men, so will avoid you. You'll just ruin good chances of being happy with other people, and hurt another women for nothing.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (23 August 2010):
And when the sex thing goes wrong, and he's embarrassed and frightened about you telling... your the employee, it's the easiest thing in the world to get rid of you...
Your gonna do a lot of harm just for a little bit of sex. People at work will be talking about you, these things always come out...
I think you should buy a vibrator and use that instead, far safer and easier than messing with a married man who can sack you at work.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (23 August 2010):
So this man is worth it to jeopardize his marriage and potentially your job? Do you really want to be his mistress? If things get out you could be deemed the office slut and you both could get fired, or if things turn sour between you two he could find a reason to fire you. Think about the consequences you could face. By the way, scandals like that always comes out at the workplace, one of you will tell someone then the word is out.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (23 August 2010):
 How would you like it if you were married in the future and your husband who you love more than anything in the world has an employee who says "I really want to have sex with him".
Be respectful of your boss's wife. You would want the same thing if your roles were reversed.
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