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Confused Attractions

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 August 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 24 August 2010)
A male Ireland age 30-35, *uiseppe writes:

I told a girl that I liked her. She rejected me. We became close friends and my feelings died down. However she came back to me months later and said that she has feelings for me now, but she is confused as to whether she does or not. Are her feelings just borne of me liking her??

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010):

*not likely

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010):

I just want to add another possibility. You say you've become close friends, well it can be easy to mistake a close emotional bond for romantic feelings. She probably would miss you if you weren't around and cares about you.

But if she rejected you the first time and is now 'confused' then it's likely she wants you in that way.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010):

She doesn't like you in that way. You either like someone or you don't, if you're confused then you don't really like them.

Her feelings are probably just borne from missing the attention, missing having a guy chase her. That is a nice feeling after all.

Don't get your hopes up, whether intentional or not she wants that back, she's trying to spark your interest in her again but it's more than likely she won't want you if she gets it back.

A general rule of thumb is this, either someone likes you or they don't, it's not that complicated. Confusion, maybe, I think I do, I'm not sure, I might, I don't know, all mean they don't really like you. I'm not saying we can't grow to like someone but when that happens you know you like them, there's no confusion when that happens. Don't hang around waiting and hoping she'll figure out she likes you. Just know for now she doesn't.

Personally I think it's kind of childish telling someone you 'might' like them. What's that supposed to accomplish?

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A female reader, answerfromtheheart United States +, writes (23 August 2010):

answerfromtheheart agony auntI agree with the CaringGuy. In your age range girls like attention, and maybe because she was not getting the kind of attention you were giving her from other guys, she came back to you.

If she was to tell you that it is you that she wants, it would be different. but she is confused and doesn't know what she wants.

I believe that if you develop feelings for her again, she will push you away soon after.

I suggest for you two to spend time together but go out as friends, just to enjoy each others company, and see how she feels about you. Be careful to develop feelings again, you might get your heart broken.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (23 August 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntThis girl hasn't a clue to what she wants. She likes you but she doesn't. To be frank, she isn't girlfriend material. Just keep it as friends because it you get together I foresee heartbreak for you.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (23 August 2010):

I had a girl do this to me. I fancied her, she didn't fancy me. Then a few months later, she decided she did. Not a good sign. Either she misses the attention, or her feelings are unreliable and she does't really know how she feels. Keep this girl as a friend. Don't go further.

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