My husband wants a DNA test done on our child-I feel humiliated!
Q. What should I do if my husband goes ahead with a DNA test? Based on a joke years ago, now my husband wants to do a DNA test on our child. I feel a biggest insult/humiliation in my life. I know I can not prevent him to do the test. But if he goes a...
A. 29 November 2005: Apparently your husband doesn't think this is a joke and must have some basis for his doubts as to whether this is his chld. If it is his then great, but if he finds out differently then "Lucy you have some splainin' to do". I feel sorry for the ... (read in full...)
Is masturbating quicker than sex?
Q. Is masterbating quicker than sex?...
A. 28 November 2005: If you do both correctly then yes. But sex is always more fun.... (read in full...)
My husband stopped speaking to me when I told him I was 7 weeks pregnant!
Q. My husband was mad when I told him I am 7 wks pregnant. We have been married 2.5 yrs now and he says he doesn't like children, though he plays well with his niece and nephew. He wants me to abort. What shall I do? He hasn't refused to talk on ...
A. 17 November 2005: Did you purposely get pregnant against his wishes? If you knew he didn't want children but got pregnant anyway then that's one thing. If it truly was an accident then that's another thing. If you want to keep the baby after "tricking" him, you may ... (read in full...)
He hasn't learned not to mess around with other girls, and now he wants a 3rd chance...
Q. I was with my boyfriend for maybe about 1 month an a half but throughout the whole relationship it was nothing but him playing games with my head and us fighting all the time. It all started out in the beginning he cheated on me with on of my frien...
A. 14 November 2005: Here's the answer to your problem, and I quote "I love him, I really do, but I'd rather not be with the one I love than to be with him and deal with his crap 24/7! Should I give him more chances or tell him he screwed up too many times to deserve ... (read in full...)
I can be reasonable and calm with anyone except my mum!
Q. Hi! Hoping for some advice on how to stress down! Me and my mum are like chalk and cheese and rarely see eye to eye about anything! Since I've left university I've had to move back home for a year whilst I complete a course that I do at college....
A. 14 November 2005: You need to find yourself a new place to live. Adult children shouldn't live at home anyway. You'll get along much better with her if you only see her on occasional visits. Remember it's her house and you are the guest.... (read in full...)
Why does he come on to me, then go all cold? And what's with all the game-playing?
Q. Hi, hoping for advice regarding a guy who's playing serious games with me! As regards one in a million ways that he plays me around, here is an example of what happened last night... saw him out and tried to ignore him, which didn't work as I fancy ...
A. 14 November 2005: Ignore this nut case in the future unless you are a glutton for punishment. Nothing but grief with this guy.... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend hates me!
Q. I know my boyfriend from high school but after graduation he went to prison for 2 years. Before he went away he was so sweet and we were really good friends. Now that he is out, he is so mean to me. We have only been dating for 1 month and I feel ...
A. 14 November 2005: I'd walk away from this relationship right now. He has changed and is not the guy you knew and loved before. People change, prison or no prison, and if they become someone you don't like then move on. You haven't invested too much time so no real ... (read in full...)
He says that once my kids are grown, he'll leave his wife and we'll be together...
Q. I'm married with 3 children but for the last 2yrs I have been having an affair. He has a partner who is 25yrs older then him and he has noticed the age difference. They dont have sex anymore, so it's more of a platonic relationship. I have hinted t...
A. 14 November 2005: Sheesh, what a charming couple you two make! You really do deserve each other. I hope the three kids are boys so they won't have you as a role model. Two years of cheating on your husband is enough I'd say. Your poor husband must be in total denial, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me and said he didn't love me any more after he caught me in a lie...
Q. I lied to my boyfriend. He found out and he has dumped me because I lied. And to make things go from bad to worse he told me that he didn't love me any more and that he was in love with someone else and that he loved her and was going out wth her. I...
A. 14 November 2005: What makes you think he still loves you if he's seeing someone else? Sure doesn't sound like he does to me. I say you best move on with your life there is nothing else you can do. ... (read in full...)
Is the bartender really just my husband's "friend", or do they have something going on?
Q. My husband of 6 months suddenly became really good friends with a female bartender in our neighborhood bar near our summer cottage. When I went back home to work while he stayed there, they became better friends. He says that they are just friends ...
A. 13 November 2005: As always, Pops hits the board instead of the nail. Nobody calls their bartender's cell phone if it's just a friendly "local bar thing". And what's with the "When are you going home" thing. RED FLAG! Now since you have only been married 6 months ... (read in full...)
Don't want to risk my dream job by dating someone I work with...!
Q. Hi I've recently started work at a small office doing my dream job, and have completely fallen for one of my colleagues. The trouble is, I think he likes me too, which makes it harder for me to stop thinking about him. We obviously have a connecti...
A. 13 November 2005: This can be a really sticky problem, dear. If you start dating and things go into the toilet, you'll have to see each other everyday. Also you need to check out the company's policies about coworkers dating, some really frown on it for the above ... (read in full...)
Since I had my accident, my girlfriend's become distant and cool...
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months and love her so much. She says she loves me too. Everything was going OK until about 6 weeks ago. I hurt my knee playing football and since then I have been off work/unable to do a lot and things have ...
A. 13 November 2005: Maybe it's your injury and maybe the relationship has just run its course. You talk to her instead of waiting for her to do it. Tell HER you need more space, get that knee healed up and find someone who make you happy. ... (read in full...)
He never calls to tell me what he's doing!
Q. I have been with my bf for over a year and we have been living together for a year. I gat really frustrated with him. He will go out with his friends for lunch, supper to the bars. But when I ask him to do something he will never make plans or he ...
A. 13 November 2005: Why waste anymore time on this guy? Since you aren't married all you have to do is find three things: a job, a place of your own, and a guy who likes to be around you. It's that simple and people do it everyday. Get out there and enjoy this great ... (read in full...)
I've been cheating on my boyfriend with his younger brother and now I'd rather have him than my boyfriend...
Q. I'm 18 and have been dating this 25 year old for 3 years. He has a 15 year old younger brother. And we kissed. Then we had sex. While the older brother was away we had sex for a week. Now I want to go out with the younger one but not hurt the oldder ...
A. 13 November 2005: What the heck do you mean you don't want to hurt the older brother? YOU ALREADY HAVE you dope. What are you thinking? Where are this kid's parents anyway?! You may have lots of time to ponder on your situation if law enforcement finds out about this ... (read in full...)
Do you "stay together for the sake of the kids"?
Q. Do women with children stay in their relationships for "the children's sake", no matter how unhappy they are personally, or do kids really matter in a woman's decision to eventually leave? Also, does having kids simply make a woman delay the ...
A. 13 November 2005: If one thinks the children are truly better of if they stay in the marriage then they should stick it out, since they brought them into this world. But if one's relationship with their husband is so poor that it may affect the children adversely in ... (read in full...)
How can we stop fighting so much over financial issues? And how can we restore the spark?
Q. Call me M.J. I am 35 years old. I am married. Lately, all my wife and I do is fight, especially over money. There is never enough. I want to help, but I don't have my disability yet. Is there any way for us to restore the fire in our lives? If an...
A. 13 November 2005: Money and kids are the two main reason couple argue. Sit down together and work on a budget that you both can live within. Remind each other that you are in this together. Set aside time each day to talk to each other and make plans and dreams for ... (read in full...)
I was dumped by my ex, but now he lives right in my town and I see him all the time!
Q. My ex dumped me several months ago for a lot of complicated reasons. It took me a very long time to get over him, but I did. Now, he moved to where I live and I see him more than I did when we were dating. It took a while, but all of the emotions ...
A. 13 November 2005: Well I guess you need to hear it again. MOVE ON and try to avoid seeing him as much as you can. He'll let you know if he's interested but in the meantime quit mooning over him and get on with your life.... (read in full...)
I didn't do anything wrong. My girlfriend says she just doesn't feel the same...
Q. My girlfriend doesn't want me anymore. I didn't do anything bad. She just doesn't feel the same anymore. I'm having a hard time letting here go. In fact, I don't want to let go of her. It feels so hard for me. I really want to be with her. I just l...
A. 13 November 2005: It's over Buddy. There's no "fixing" that. Pull yourself up by your boot straps and move on,... (read in full...)
Things have been hard since my ex emailed my current girlfriend and said she was still in love with me!
Q. I am currently feeling very distressed over a relationship problem. My girlfriend (let's call her P)and I have been having a long distance relationship for the past 3 months (In fact we just got together 3 months ago too). Things were going very ...
A. 13 November 2005: Humm I wonder how your ex found out about "P" and how she got her email address? But back to your problem, I guess all you can tell "P" is that your ex is full of crap and that you have no feelings whatsoever for her and hope that "P" believes you. ... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong? Every relationship ends with me being ignored and hurt...
Q. It seems that every relationship I have been in except for one, always ends up with them totally ignoring me. Now the relationship never ends off in a bad way, it just ends up with me being ignored. No discussion that it's over, nothing! Now, I ...
A. 12 November 2005: What's that? I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention....... (read in full...)
I love my best friend, but she doesn't want me!
Q. How do I get over loving my best friend? We have been doing stuff together for over a year and I told her I loved her but she doesn't feel the same way. Now she is trying to do everything to show me that we can never be together. When I ask her what ...
A. 12 November 2005: What does she need to do to get it through your head, write it on your forehead? Go your separate ways and don't look back. It's over.... (read in full...)
Why won't he let me get my things from his house? Does he secretly want me back?
Q. Dear Cupid, My ex-boyfriend of 2.5 years recently broke up with me because of his stressful job and me not being understanding. Anyways, he wouldn't answer my phone calls for a few days after, and then I would get so sad that I would call him f...
A. 12 November 2005: He might want the time to think things over or maybe he is just putting off an unpleasant event. In any case, you won't know for sure until you go and get your things. What I've noticed in this column is that people are moving in together before ... (read in full...)
In the 15 months I've been with him, I've been overtaken by sport and school in importance!
Q. I need help. I've been with my boyfriend for 15 months. He is the love of my life. I would do anything and everything for him. I actually want to marry him. In the beginning of our relationship, he was absolutely amazing. But lately, he doesn't seem ...
A. 12 November 2005: Well school and football are more important at his age. Don't be so clingy and let him excel in both. How are your studies going? Get out and have fun with your friends when he's busy. The last thing you should be thinking about is marriage to ... (read in full...)
After the disastrously awkward experience we had before, why would she invite me to her party?
Q. Hi there, I need some help as I'm so confused with an ex, that I don't even know what to think about it all. I started seeing a girl who lives above the shop that I work in. We had so much in common and got on really well and I really liked he...
A. 12 November 2005: It does like she has "issues" so I guess you can only continue to be friendly and hope she will come around. But remember to keep your line in the water because there are a lot of fish in the sea.... (read in full...)
We've broken up a number of times over his womanising and lying...
Q. I’m a 50 year old woman and I’m going out with my best friend’s brother who is 56 and a widower. He was married for 20 years to his wife and he used to be unfaithful to her. He’s a musician. He was married previously twice and his marriages never ...
A. 12 November 2005: I'm afraid the only way you are ever going to have any peace of mind is to dump the cheater and see if you can find a decent fellow who will love and also respect you. A man who is 56 and has cheated his way through every relationship is not going ... (read in full...)
I'm ready to end it, but the house is in my husband's name and I'm worried about how our kids will react...
Q. Hi, I have been married for nearly 4 years. My husband is a drug addict, coke user every weekend and sometimes one or two nights in the week. He has been to counselling but abandoned it. Has his own company, very succesful, but I am in debt to ...
A. 12 November 2005: I'd talk to another solicitor if I were you. If you are legally married, the house is considered communal property so is everything else of value that you accumulated during your marriage. If the house belonged to him before you were marriaged then ... (read in full...)
Our marriage is going downhill and I want someone who wants me...
Q. My husband does nothing but yell at me, and our marriage has constantly been going down hill for the past year. I haven't left him. I just sit here and put up with it, and not to mention he is always yelling at our kids. I would like to be with som...
A. 12 November 2005: One of the greatest Agony Aunts, Ann Landers, would always say "Ask yourself this question, Are you better off with him or without him?" That means emotionally as well as financially. If the answer is "without" then the course is clear, contact a ... (read in full...)
I'm waiting for my online married guy to leave his unhappy marriage, so we can be together...
Q. I was happily married for seven years, so I thought, but my husband left me for a much younger woman. I have some children but was lonely. I went in a chatroom and met a man I think is wonderful. From the start he told me he was married but unhappy....
A. 11 November 2005: Man, it's true! There IS a sucker born every minute! Whew! You'd think someone who's been around the block a few times would have this guy figured out. Move on lady and quit messing with married men.... (read in full...)
My husband claims his definition of cheating is different to mine, so it's not cheating...
Q. Cheated on and dont know what to do? My husband was recently discovered to be having a secret companion that kept him so involved in her day to day activities with her and her husband that he forgot my birthday. The children were the ones to disc...
A. 11 November 2005: Your husband is trying to sell you a bunch of hogwash! Yes he cheated on you and no you can't trust him especially since it's happened before. Get yourself a good lawyer or live without the S.O.B....your choice.... (read in full...)
Was having a good-bye drink with my ex-husband after the divorce an insult to my boyfriend?
Q. Was I wrong by going to the bar with my ex after leaving the courthouse to finalize our divorce when I was in a relationship with another man? He got very angry when I got home and called him and told him why it took so long just to sign some ...
A. 11 November 2005: You didn't do anything wrong EXACTLY, but I think in all kindness it would have been nice of you to give him a call and let him know how things went and THEN gone for that goodbye drink.... (read in full...)
Am I a fool to be with a man who is still in contact with a woman he loved?
Q. I have been dating a guy for about 8 months. We spend a lot of time together but he has an emotional wall up with me, that hurts me. He is also not as intimate physically as I would expect from a man. He has always refused to talk about the past, ...
A. 11 November 2005: If he can't be straightforward about his past then he is hiding something important from you. I walk if he refuses to discuss it. No relationship can withstand secrets and closed doors.... (read in full...)
How have other couples solved their problems with debt by one partner?
Q. Hi, I am married. My wife is extremely money conscious and I perhaps have not been in the past. I accumulated some debt while I was young and in the early days of our relationship, before we were married, which is a real burden - not too much ...
A. 11 November 2005: Did she know about your debts before the marriage? If she agreed then to help then she should but if she didn't agree then it's your debts and you pay. Any debts you incur together should be paid together.... (read in full...)
I ask him to leave, but he won't. Should I just leave him?
Q. Please help. Me and my partner have been together for 4 years and have a 1 year old child. all day long I dream about leaving him and having someone better, but when I ask him to go, in the end it doesnt happen. I support him completely, he doesnt h...
A. 11 November 2005: Ditch him for the sake of your child. He is a really great role model isn't he?!!!!... (read in full...)
I've never been attracted to my husband, and his attempt at infidelity with my best friend seems like the last straw...
Q. I am in need of some advice as soon a possible. This is going to be long but please take the time to read my story. Let's see where do I start? I met my husband when I was 20 years old. I am currently 31. I didn't find him attractive but he was ...
A. 11 November 2005: Yes they will be better off with a "happy Mommy" but also if that happy mommy isn't whoring around with other men. Knock it off with the boss NOW. Divorce your husband since you obiviously don't respect him then you can pursue your love life with ... (read in full...)
I had sex with a guy I don't even love. Then his girlfriend blackmailed me to my boyfriend...
Q. I dont know what to do. Me and my boyfriend were only dating for about 3 months but we were so in love. It was like love at first sight when we first met. Then he told me he wouldn't be able to come here anymore until winter was over (he lives in ...
A. 11 November 2005: You reap what you sow. If he doesn't forgive you then move on and please, for the world's sake, use birth control as you sleep around.... (read in full...)
Should I worry about my husband's business trip, or am I just insecure?
Q. My husband and I got married about 2 months ago. We are now in the process of buying a new business and he has to go on a business trip to Memphis, Tennessee in December for 2 weeks. When we first met things were a little rough. At one p...
A. 11 November 2005: I think you just sound insecure about yourself. Business trips are a necessary part of life and he'll be going on them in the future many times. As long as he stay in contact with you during them, why should you worry? Unless he's done something to ... (read in full...)
Help me read between the lines of what a woman is saying...
Q. Dear Cupid, Please give me some insight into a woman’s thought process. What does it really mean when a woman tells a guy “They are really busy” or “They have a lot on their mind” while they are dating. What should a guy do if this is what they are...
A. 11 November 2005: “They are really busy” translates "quit bugging me"
“They have a lot on their mind”translates "quit bugging me"
Clear enough?... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm doing everything a wife would do for him, so why is he so slow to show any commitment to me?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and 1 month. We have had 4 break ups. 2 were because he was going to try to make it work with his ex wife. 1 was because I was tired of him being to close for comfort with his ex wife. The other time was no ...
A. 11 November 2005: You need to move on and quit wasting you time on a relationship that is going absolutely nowhere. Let him clean his own damn house. Go find that man who will cherish the ground you walk on. He's out there waiting for you.... (read in full...)
He gets to do whatever he wants, but I have to ask his permission!
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 months. He's the sweetest guy you could find.. the guy every girl calls "Mr. Right." But lately I'm finding that he can do whatever he pleases, but I need his permission. If I want to hang out with a friend, he ...
A. 11 November 2005: You are 3 months into this relationship and you are unhappy. Walk away, dear. Things aren't going to get any better.... (read in full...)
Is he hiding something? Should I be worried about it?
Q. I'm in a longterm relationship but he will never show me his phone. I am beginning to think he is hiding something. I'm worried this will affect our relationship. What should I do?...
A. 11 November 2005: Well he's definitely hiding something from you but whether it's something you need to be concerned about is unknown. Have you asked him why his phone is off limits? It may be because of something very inconsequential or it might be something very ... (read in full...)
How can I learn to worry less about the past, so I can move on in my life?
Q. I am seperated from my wife. It has been a year and we have a little boy of 2yrs and 8 months. I have these overwhelming feelings of guilt for leaving both my wife and my little boy. I phone my little lad every day and I see him every 2 weekends ...
A. 11 November 2005: "I just left coz I had had enough !!" Yep, you should be feeling pretty guilty all right. You owe your wife an explanation for why you left. Then you can decide to be as supportive of her as she raises your son. Nobody deserves to stay in a ... (read in full...)
| *yeswideopen's friends
These are mutual friends, so *yeswideopen has
added them and they have added *yeswideopen!
|
