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female
,
anonymous
writes: I was happily married for seven years, so I thought, but my husband left me for a much younger woman.I have some children but was lonely. I went in a chatroom and met a man I think is wonderful. From the start he told me he was married but unhappy.We have been seeing each other for nearly 2 years now. He has a daughter and she is nearly uni age. He always made it clear he could not leave till his daughter had left home.I want more he is fantastic with my young children, but I'm not sure he wants to join my family even when his daughter leaves.Do I just wait to see what happens? I wish I had met this man years ago. He makes me very happy.I know he is doing to his wife what my husband did to me,and I know how much that hurts so what can I do?I only want to be happy and share my life with someone but feel selfish.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (11 November 2005):
 Man, it's true! There IS a sucker born every minute! Whew! You'd think someone who's been around the block a few times would have this guy figured out. Move on lady and quit messing with married men.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2005): i know this man seems like mr perfect but if hes got children and and he has a wife, then i wouldnt get in the way. his marriage could sort itself out sooner than you think and do you really want to ruin this man's chance of happyness with the mother of his child??? im sure that if your husband was the one i was advising, he wud never have left you. you darling woman. give this man a chance and if he has not sorted the marriage out within two years then make your move. put your relationship off just to see how thing plan out.
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A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (9 November 2005):
 I am going to be a little bit harsh here, I'm afraid.
Haven't you ever heard the saying; "My wife doesn't understand me?"
This man wants his cake and eat it and you are allowing him to do so. The chances of him leaving his wife are minimal. You have been seeing him for nearly two years but you are not his priority, his family is and probably always will be.
Waiting until his daughter leaves home is only an excuse and a means of keeping you hanging on. The problem is that you will probably be hanging on forever.
Let's just say he did leave his wife, would you really be able to trust him as he has shown himself capable of being untrustworthy? He must have little respect for his wife and for you to do this and to hurt people in this way.
What would he say if you pressurised him a little? Imagine his response. Would he say that he does intend to leave but not yet? Would he threaten you that if you don't stop pressurising him, he won't see you anymore? Or would he give you a definate time that he will leave when he will tell his wife because he desperately wants to be with you?
You do know how this feels and if you and him do get found out, hearts will break.
Think very seriously about your future. Do you wish to be the 'other woman' forever? Do you want to be part of hurting someone else?
Wanting to be happy and to share your life with someone else isn't selfish but when they are with someone else, it is I'm afraid.
Seriously consider getting rid of this untrustworthy man and finding someone to love who is available. I know this will be so very hard but for the sake of your happiness and his family's, think about letting go.
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