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... Send *ust Diana a private message | | | *ust Diana's profile:What Qualifies me to help people...? Sometimes nothing, yet sometimes everything. Relationships are messy. Life is messy. I can offer no neat and tidy answers.......just mere reflections through my own path of brokenness through the messyness of my life. I think to own and take responsibilty for ones own shit in life is as whole as we can ever attempt to be, which also allows for whole relating. If who I am through some of my answers make sense to you the reader, then great, if not, dump them. I cant be all things to all people. I still am seeking to be something at the best of times to and for self. |
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When we're apart I just don't feel happy!
Q. After two years together and a couple weeks without communication, we decided to stay together. He talked to some friends, and he came to the consensus he should stay. On the night of our talk this song immediately came on, "You're my Best Friend",...
A. 24 April 2010: Its seems to are trying to avoid the pain of the break up. also there is much about this guy you do fancy, and things you dont like, so perhaps yo are caught between knowing he is not the right guy , however also not wanting to loose the good ... (read in full...)
Can you REALLY forgive someone after they cheat?
Q. Is it ever possible to have someone cheat in a relationship, and then really forgive someone? If you really forgive that person in your heart, can you still live happily ever after?...
A. 24 April 2010: Forgiveness in my experience has taught me that I need to remind self constantly on a daily basis that I have forgiven!! Its a process of constantly even in thought setting the person who broke your trust free. Has this person apologised? It is ... (read in full...)
My husband farts on me and thinks its funny
Q. My husband farts on me. He thinks its hilarious, and its really annoying to me. It makes me feel like I am one of his frat buddies instead of his wife, who he might like to have sex with again at one point or another. I don't know how to make him ...
A. 24 April 2010: phew.....I just do not understand this sort of stuff. Why on earth would someone want to fart on someone else. Its not funny and I think its rude. Your husband is rude. Please respect yourself enough to actually say ENOUGH and that you do will ... (read in full...)
Wife constantly text messaging!
Q. My wife and I have been married for almost 5 years, and we have what I think is a mostly healthy relationship. Lately however, she is constantly sending or reading text messages. When we go out to eat, even with our friends, throughout the entire ...
A. 24 April 2010: I am going to admit to my error of past. I did this. ...when I was interested in another man! Sorry, even as a agony aunt I am not perfect. perhaps I speak or cloud your judgement wth my guilt and remorse of past, however, she is being ex... (read in full...)
I just had a horrible "first time", or what should have been. I'm too hurt to move on, what do I do?
Q. "Wow, hun...You're so much smaller than my ex...I'm sorry." That's what she told me when we were just about to...yeah Then she got up, apologized, and left quietly. I felt so terrible after, I actually cried lol. We don't see each other anymore. ...
A. 24 April 2010: Phew this girl sounds abusive! I am glad for you that she is gone! Many years back I fell in love with a beautiful man...and...when it came to sex, I was dissappointed to see that he had a very very small penis...(not even as big as yours!) At fi... (read in full...)
Can I meet the right woman after college?
Q. I am a 22 year old college senior who is graduating in less than a month. I just got out of a 2 year relationship with a girl who goes to my college who supposedly decided that she never loved me, a few months before I was going to propose to her. ...
A. 24 April 2010: hey! May I offer you this, that you in your ad really stood out as a man with so much going for him. Really, I am not just saying this.
Yes, there is hope and trust in letting go of the situation prayerfully. I do believe that through ... (read in full...)
She used to love me, now I love her.
Q. I have a huge crush on my friend and she USED to have a crush on me. She claims loves me as a brother now, but I think she likes me as a boyfriend. How do I convince her that she loves me in a different way?...
A. 24 April 2010: if you have already tried that, then....let go. As you know, Unfort we cant "make" people see us in the way we would want. Just go about being you, who by the way sounds really lovely, ....and who knows she may start noticing you, also by virtue ... (read in full...)
Why do guys always stare at me?
Q. Everywhere I go, guys always stare at me, or beep their car horns, or try and chat me up and wolf whistle at me. I can't even walk my dog or go get a pint of milk from the corner shop without getting oggled. I dress appropriately, for example...
A. 23 April 2010: Oh come on! You are just conceited and need more approval through this medium. You do as one male reader pointed out already know the answer. Me thinketh you just need and want it reafirmed. However, although you may know the answer does not mean ... (read in full...)
Ways to make my online dating add stand out?
Q. Hi, firstly the problem i have is i like a more mature women mentally that is, my idea of a night out is not to go to a club and get wasted (To me this is something i'd do with the lads, Not my gf, im not saying i wouldnt do it im just saying its ...
A. 23 April 2010: Shew...well just the way you put your "problem" accross stood out for me.
You sound like a insightful, deep man.
I see K c100 gave you some good pointers!
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Bisexual boyfriend has cheated twice but I can't leave!
Q. So my bi-boyfriend, the man I have loved for the longest time, the man I have sacrificed so much of my time and have given my entire self to, has just revealed to me that he cheated on me twice: once when we just got to gether, and the second with ...
A. 23 April 2010: babe, do yourself the favour and leave this guy. Come on. You deserve better. Do the NO CONTACT thing for a few months. I guarantee you will be stronger and more level headed about the whole thing. You may even ask yourself what on earth you ... (read in full...)
Will I look back and regret sleeping with a 46 year old man?
Q. Hi, thanks for your time, I'm 17 and the guy I'm having casual sex with is man who is 46, with the benifit of hindsight will I look back and think what he is doing is wrong? It's just a pattern I've noticed throught life, as I get older I look bac...
A. 23 April 2010: Sweetheart, you are sooooo young. May I ask if your father is a healthy father figure? Is he a present father? This man I do not believe is a unhealthy minded man. What he is doing is wrong. You know this already. You do not need hindsight. ... (read in full...)
Why do men go limp at times?
Q. HI I AM JUST CURIOUS..WHAT CAUSES A MAN TO GO LIMP?DURING SEX AND BEFORE SEX?...
A. 23 April 2010: There are so many reason. However please do not damage his ego by making a issue of this as it will just serve to entrench the existing issue. be gentle with him. I do think its important that you, with out highlighting the situation, ask him if ... (read in full...)
She used to love me, now I love her.
Q. I have a huge crush on my friend and she USED to have a crush on me. She claims loves me as a brother now, but I think she likes me as a boyfriend. How do I convince her that she loves me in a different way?...
A. 23 April 2010: Court her. ...and just be you! Tell her of your affections and that you wish to pursue her romantically. Take it slow. Really hope it works out for you!... (read in full...)
Can a married man have a platonic relationship with another woman?
Q. My husband reconnected with an old high school friend whose a girl. The've had two lunch dates together since they've met in Sept 09 and they continue to communicate over the phone or facebook. The girl is also married and my husband tells me that ...
A. 23 April 2010: Hmmmm, I am not sure I would like it if my husband was facebooking or sharing this sort of interaction with another woman. Not due to insecurity, actually if I am honest, yes some insecurity, however more due to REALITY! I do not think this is ... (read in full...)
Work colleagues don't care that I'm ill!
Q. I'm probably going to be told to grow up and get over myself but it's made me feel even more down. I've been off work for 4 days with the flu- ok, no big deal, i'll live! But what's upset me us that not 1 of my colleagues has bothered to txt me ...
A. 23 April 2010: Hey, I am sorry you are feeling ill and rejected. You know, I read your add and I really felt for you, enough to write and say I do not know you but I strangely do care. HOPE YOU GET BETTER SOON.... (read in full...)
Why am I not welcome to socialise with him?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years never invites me out with him. He goes out every friday night with his work friends and has only ever asked me to join them once in 3 years. I always invite him to join my friends and I but he never feels inclined to have me ...
A. 23 April 2010: I completely agree with Prion... (read in full...)
Boyfriend threatening to dump me for being overweight!
Q. I am a 20 yr. Old female I been in a relationship of 3 years my boyfriend has a problem with my weight. I'm not too much overweight but I try to do everything I can I go to the gym I eat healthy and I do it all for myself and him but it seems to not ...
A. 23 April 2010: Good for you!!! We will be her to support you! And do try to have a NO CONTACT rule. Now, this will hrt like mad, but I promise you, if you stick to it and kep yourself busy, you will see a way through this mess and regain self in the process. ... (read in full...)
He's gay but he bites me alot and I like it.
Q. me and my best friend matt spend every waking moment together. we go to the park behind his house play on swings etc. lately weve been spending alot of time sitting in my car talking and singing and hes started to get a little sexual. we hold ...
A. 23 April 2010: I am sure by your reaction he can see that you are enjoying it. I also think its important to ask him how he feels about what is going on between you. Maybe he is bisexual?... (read in full...)
Our bet to see how could go without sex the longest!
Q. My boyfriend and I made a bet to see who can go without sex the longest. It is stupid but I just lost my virginity to him and he thinks I'm addicted and always want it. His conditions if he wins is he's using restraints more than once, gettings bjs ...
A. 23 April 2010: Hey, its me again, my answer to your question was bothering me. So here goes again, ...communication is so very important in a relationship. You really do need to be able to speak to your partner openly and honestly around these issues. You have ... (read in full...)
Married for two years, but we don't understand each other
Q. Have been married for two years but we dont quite undestand each other we fight over nothing and sometimes i feel like we were not meant to be together. please help (MOD NOTE: Text edited for clarity)...
A. 23 April 2010: Hi, smile, I believe that what you are going through is very normal. How long did you know each other before you were married. Did you go for pre marital counseling? You are wired differently...you need to constantly communciate around trying to ... (read in full...)
My husband's bipolar and PTSD, watches porn more than alot, and nothing I do is good enough..
Q. the bottom line question is Where do I go with my marriage and how much more do I put up with? So here is the background leading into that question My husband and i have been together for 10 years and 9 of them have not been easy. The first...
A. 23 April 2010: I am so sorry to read of your plight. I think this relationship is fraught with abuse. My advice to you would be to get a divorce, apply a no contact rule there after and try to rebuild and reclaim YOU. I ordinarily would not offer up divorce as ... (read in full...)
He says he sometimes can't be himself around me...what on earth does he mean?!
Q. My relationship is good, at home my boyfriend is great to me and we've been together 6 years. But when we go out, there's the problem. He recently told me that he can't be himself when I'm around - he can be more rude and talk to who he wants. I'm ...
A. 23 April 2010: I am sorry to hear your confusion. My belief is that this relationship is not going to last. He has already strayed from you and is already acting out on that "freedom".
... (read in full...)
Help!!! Is she just not interested in me any more...?
Q. My girl hasn't made love to me in over four months and this has never happened before. She allows me to make love to her but she doesn't return the love. Is she using me? or is she just not interested in me anymore? I am so confused. Also I ha...
A. 23 April 2010: You sound like a nice guy. Decent. Your girlfriend has lost interest. Tell her you love her, care about her and that you get the sense she is withholding some thoughts from you that she is feeling resentful over or frustrated about. Ask her if ... (read in full...)
Should I call off my wedding to a man who finds me unattractive?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we're engaged and getting married this summer but lately he's been acting weird towards me he complains about my weight he tells me that I'm not attractive anymore, the sex is awesome, he wants it all ...
A. 23 April 2010: DUMP HIM IMMEDIATELY.... (read in full...)
How can I stop his wandering eye?
Q. hello.. I am married and i know my husband loves me and we have good times together but i get insecure when i find my husband looking at women who dont look all that great but their neckline is low or wearing short skirts and I am ok that my husband ...
A. 23 April 2010: I am sorry you are experiencing this as it sounds to me asthough this issue is ruling many aspects of your social life. You need to communciate to your partner that you are feeling uncomfortable wth the degree of his roving eye. yes, it is natural ... (read in full...)
Could my girlfriend have got pregnant?
Q. Hi there, I am really scared so let me just get right too it. My girlfriend and I were in the shower messing around...and she lathered me up with soap so I was nice a nd slick then jerked me off...I came on her side. I didn't really pay attention ...
A. 23 April 2010: er...I do not think she will fall pregnant. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend threatening to dump me for being overweight!
Q. I am a 20 yr. Old female I been in a relationship of 3 years my boyfriend has a problem with my weight. I'm not too much overweight but I try to do everything I can I go to the gym I eat healthy and I do it all for myself and him but it seems to not ...
A. 23 April 2010: leave him. He is not worth it. But I am guessing you think he is, considering you still with him.... (read in full...)
Partner says he'll give me more sex if I dye my hair!!!
Q. My partner says if I dye my hair blonde, he will give me more sex but I don't want to dye my hair. He watches a fair amount of porn by the way, which I think interferes with our sex life already. But should I leave him or adapt?...
A. 23 April 2010: leave him.... (read in full...)
2 guys and I"m unsure which to chose!
Q. I have somehow managed to get involved with 2 guys at the same time and now I don't know what to do. The first guy I've been seeing for 18 months, with most of that as long distance (flying back and forth a lot). He helped me get out of an abusiv...
A. 22 April 2010: Nothing just happens "somehow"......it happens through your choice!
I actually did not even read the last paragraph of your mail. Come on!!!! Your mail reeks of you needing to end all relationships and just date you for a long time. Do you even... (read in full...)
She says I'm being rude and has given me an ultimatum!
Q. I am having fights with my fiancee almost everyday which she is a woman btw....for instance this morning she takes me to work every morning and drops me off i was tired and didnt want to drive so i asked her the night before if she wouldnt mind ...
A. 22 April 2010: Good golly, you are losing yourself! and she sounds like a manipulative control freak. Sounds like she likes to wield the power over your relationship. Hmmmm....I would be veryyyyyy cautious. And its not about whether or not you were right or ... (read in full...)
I wanted to show I didn't care, but in a positive way. Is that bad?
Q. my ex and i have been talking for a few months..we might eventually see each other slowly. He isn't ready right now. I do still care about him and would love for us one day to get back together. I called him last night and he picked up..we sp...
A. 22 April 2010: You are being paranoid, and probably for good reason. You are ex's for a reason. Get on with your life. ... (read in full...)
He comments on other girls and keeps looking at them!
Q. hi am married for 2 years nw and when i go out with my husband for a movie or to a restaurant and when he finds some good looking girls he tells me look at that girl she is so pretty for example she is so lean or she has beautifull complexion or ...
A. 22 April 2010: It means he has no respect for you. There is nothing wrong with appreciating the opposite sex, or same sex, while you are in a relationship, however there are ways to do this. The first look is free, the other will cost on some level and the way ... (read in full...)
I love her, yet I know she could do so much better for herself!
Q. I have been with my girlfriend now for about 2 weeks, I have never had a problem with going the distance before until recently it has become a problem. Im 20 years old, I hav alot of debt from petty fines, Im quite poor as i am unable to get a job ...
A. 22 April 2010: If you think and believe that she can do better, then you are probably right. Afterall, you know yourself better than anyone else, ........ (read in full...)
I don't know if I want my wife back but I want revenge!
Q. I have posted here before and have liked the advise, I'm giving it another try since I'm still having issues with my wife. I am the original poster of "should I confront my wife or let destiny run its course" To minimize I caught my wife c...
A. 22 April 2010: Revenge?!!!! No. Come on, not worth it. Hold onto your essence. Your wife has hurt you, betrayed you ...are you further going to allow her indirectly to direct the course of your actions via revenge.
Not worth it...and honestly... (read in full...)
Next step: should I run for second base?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 years, i am 14 years old and so is he. We have made out, kissed, cuddle, and stuff but i don't know what the next step should be? Should it be more sexually or something else? i am not sure what to do....
A. 22 April 2010: If in doubt do without.
You are too young for sex. The next step my dear girl is to go for a picnic, watch a movie, go for a swim, ....hold onto your innocence....what is the hurry?
You have been dating for three yrs and I applaud you for ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to prevent myself from thinking I could lose her?
Q. I need some help about this. It's been a pretty good couple months going out with my girlfriend. But it's like every minute i spend worrying i could lose her. I don't think it's normal to think this. I trust her 100% but i just live my life thinking ...
A. 22 April 2010: You are insecure. Build on your self esteem. Start thinking of yourself as the best thing that has ever happened to her....and not the other way round. Come on! - YOU are the best thing that has ever happened to this woman! Your fear will end up ... (read in full...)
Should I try to hold on to her when she shows little attraction toward me?
Q. Alright, long story short. My girlfriend and I started off as a long distance couple, and moved together for about a year before we had to return to long distance due to schooling and college. However, due to a lifetime of abuse from my father, and ...
A. 22 April 2010: Define normal?
End the relationship. She is manpulative, controlling and insecure.
Take an NO CONTACT rule, and heal yourself. Date yourself for a time. Seriously. Make yourself priority NO 1. Get some therapy......take time out and be ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to masturbate so much?
Q. I am 14 years old and i watch porno. i watch the type of porno that is called hentai or animations "mangas" because they usally have stories. everytime i watch it after im done i go and masturbate. i done it a lot lately. at least 3 times a day. is ...
A. 18 April 2010: Conrary to the myth you will not go blind from masterbation. The only thing that may happen is that you penis will end up bit raw from all the friction. Its normal and natural at you age to be materbating. Your hormones are going crazy. Rather ... (read in full...)
Is my weight getting in the way of his pleasure?
Q. This might be a long story... Well my boyfriend and i have been going out for almost 3 years and everything has gone great, theres only one problem... he works out all the time and is super skinny while i'm overweight... our sex life is always s...
A. 18 April 2010: Come on!! go an exercise! he has told yo he loves yo and does not mind, so really the issue is you. If you think you are overweight, do something about it! Get healthy. You both will reap the benefits.... (read in full...)
My lost virginity didn't matter to him but now I'm worried I might be pregnant
Q. Okay so i'm 14, and i just lost my virginity yesterday, and the guy I lost it to doesn't even care, it was just sex to him. I did anything he wanted. I just wanted to make him happy. So today I find out that he goes back out with his ex. I think ...
A. 18 April 2010: There is absolutely no such thing as friends with benefits! So perish the illusion. Go to a clinic and get a test. If you are abel chat to your folks so that they can support you through this. If you are not able, confide in a friend who can ... (read in full...)
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