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female
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anonymous
writes: My ex dumped me several months ago for a lot of complicated reasons. It took me a very long time to get over him, but I did. Now, he moved to where I live and I see him more than I did when we were dating. It took a while, but all of the emotions came rushing back with time. I told him I wanted to have a talk with him and he said okay, but he needed some time because this was really difficult for him and he needed time to collect his thoughts about the issue, which I understand. I'm sure its emotional for him too. The only advice I get when I ask for it is "move on". However, for whatever reason, he apparently talks about me to his friends incessesantly, constantly stares at me, etc. He also asks my best friend how I am all of the time, but he doesn't normally talk to me. He will if I say hello or initiate a conversation, but he won't go out of his way at parties to talk to me other than a "Hey, how's it going?". It was SO easy to move on when I didn't see him. How do I do this? I think talking to him will help, but in the meantime, I'd like to be able to not think about him every day!!! People say Move on, but how do you do it, especially when your past is in your face every single day?And of course people I ask (I don't ask people who know us), seem to think its implausible for him to still harbor feelings for me because he dumped me and isn't begging for me back. But he apparently liked me for months before we dated and I thought he hated me because...he acted quite similarly to the way he is now.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2005): Wow, the same thing happened to me this year to. Except he dumped me then moved away for the summer and then all of a sudden just appeared. He did not even bother with me. He called me and asked if I wanted to be "friends with benefits" Grrrr. I'm only 19 yrs old and this is how I see it,guys are nice to look at, but either then that...TROUBLE. Especially at this age, My advice would be don't worry about it, I know it sounds hard, all you have to think is I'm better then this and I deserve so much better then him. "You Can Over come this, and so can I"
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): i know its very difficult to keep ur eyes off him....but this is life..please ignore him for a while coz u deserve better treatment. let he be the one, approaching u again..good luk
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A
female
reader, bootie09 +, writes (14 November 2005):
Well first of all if you still have feelings for him and it sounds like he has feelings for you DONT move on just yet, but then again dont get your hopes up. It must be awkward for the both of you these days but he's probably saying the samething you are, either that or maybe now he thinks you'll go back to him just cause you see him more than before. Just do whats deep down in your heart, if you have feelings for him YOU need to step up and talk to him, and if you dont have feelings for him still than just go on your life cause remember hes the one who dumped you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2005): well, i did tell him I just wanted to be friends and was glad we could hang out without having feelings for each other....and that's when things got weird.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2005): Dear,I hate to see you waste so much emotional energy on this guy, because it's as if he's forced you to participate in a mutual standoff with him. No one should have that kind of power over you, dear. You are describing a guy who probably doesn't know what he wants. Talking about you to your friends, staring at you? All indicators, he does not sound like a guy who has 'moved on' with his life and he could be making himself overly available to you. It's quite possible he's not begging to have you back, because 'he' dumped you in the first place and he's likely fearing rejection. He dumped you so the question is-do you still want him? It seems like he's playing a mindgame with you. Ignore him-because this is the sign of a immature, insecure man who doesn't deal with his feelings openly and honestly. Don’t ever let anybody determine how you feel about yourself. Stay away from guys like him, who bring you down and upset you. Like your friends say...move on and perhaps avoid places he knows that you go, for awhile. You cannot win with a guy like this. Approaching him to ask what his true reasons are-will only add to your confusion-he will deny everything. It's likely if he is interested and hasn't come clean with you about it, by now-he never will. Lay low for a few weeks or avoid his hangouts but don't waste any more time on him-get out and have fun and date other guys who seem to know what they want in a loving, mature relationship and don't play games. Good luck
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (13 November 2005):
 Well I guess you need to hear it again. MOVE ON and try to avoid seeing him as much as you can. He'll let you know if he's interested but in the meantime quit mooning over him and get on with your life.
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