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female
,
anonymous
writes: I need help. I've been with my boyfriend for 15 months. He is the love of my life. I would do anything and everything for him. I actually want to marry him. In the beginning of our relationship, he was absolutely amazing. But lately, he doesn't seem to care anymore. He tells me school and football are more important and that he's fine with not seeing me every day anymore. I am so hurt by this and am not sure what to do. Yet, he claims that he still loves me more than anything. Please, someone help me. I'm not sure if I should break-up or not. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2005): You are too young to be dating with this kind of intensity. You can still date, but back off.
Would you really be happier if he got cut from his team and started failing classes so he could stare into your eyes for the proper number of hours per day?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2005): Try asking him, why the turn in emotions. If he is always going to be this way for the rest of his life. Then ask yourself do, I want a husband like this. If not go get what you deserve!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): its always great in the begining. sounds like its over. move on.
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female
reader, BelieveInLove555 +, writes (12 November 2005):
Here's your chance to learn something. You will encounter this for the rest of your life, even up into your 40's, if you're not married yet. At the begining of a relationship the men will adore you. You're his new toy. He wants to be with you a lot because he likes the way you make him feel. Then when the novelty of you wears off. He seeks that high that makes him feel good somewhere else. Doesn't mean that he doesn't still love you, just means that he thinks he has you and you're not going anywhere. Sort of like being put on a shelf and he can take you down and play with you at any time he wants. The mistake that women continue to make throughout their entire lives is that once they find a man they're 'in love' with they completely lose themselves and all their friends. Then, when suddenly, he wants to do things without you you're left feeling devestated. Don't lose yourself in this guy! Go out and have a life and when he wants to do something don't ditch your girlfriends because all of a sudden he's available. The more you're available to him the less he'll respect you and, worse, you'll end up not respecting yourself. Show him that you have a life too. I know it's hard but you have to do it. Know that he's not going anywhere, he's yours, and go have some girl fun. Trust me, you will drive him crazy by getting off his shelf and having your own fun without him.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 November 2005):
 Well school and football are more important at his age. Don't be so clingy and let him excel in both. How are your studies going? Get out and have fun with your friends when he's busy. The last thing you should be thinking about is marriage to anyone. Enjoy your youth, there's plenty time to deal with all the rest when you are older.
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (12 November 2005):
 Sounds to me like he is going off you.If he said that school and sport came first then if i was you i would do my own thing and start meeting new people and going out more.Once he finds that you dont need him he might wake up and realize what he does miss you but dont hold your breath.When he calls you say your busy,dont make yourself available and dont jump to his beck and call.Then see what happens,your still young.
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A
female
reader, Forthright +, writes (12 November 2005):
I have had a relationship in which I was less important than hobbies, work etc., but my boyfriend didn't realise it. Here your boyfriend knows exactly what he is doing and has actually TOLD you that you are not important to him. That is such a hurtful thing to say to someone and there is really no excuse for it.
It is possible there is an underlying issue which he doesn't want to talk about so he is taking it out on you in this way. Perhaps he feels that you have been living too much in each other's pockets and needs some breathing space. Before you dump him, perhaps try distancing yourself and finding activities to do and prioritise over him. If he misses you, he will realise the error of his ways. If not, then you know you tried and you can leave him with no regrets.
But more likely is that he is just too gutless to dump you and is hoping if he treats you badly enough you will do the job for him.
Actions speak louder than words - if he says he loves you but treats you like he doesn't care, which do you think is true? I think you know the answer already but need reassurance and help to make a difficult decision.
Good luck
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