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*ris
writes: Was I wrong by going to the bar with my ex after leaving the courthouse to finalize our divorce when I was in a relationship with another man? He got very angry when I got home and called him and told him why it took so long just to sign some papers. He was waiting to hear from me to find out how everything turned out. I explained that the ex and I had a stopped at a bar for a drink after signing the divorce papers. I had been with him for 15 years, and had 2 kids with him. He asked if we can stop somewhere for a drink, and I agreed. My boyfriend got very angry and said I was wrong for doing it, and it was not right to do when in a relationship with another man. It was all completely innocent. Am I completely in the wrong on this one?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (11 November 2005):
 You didn't do anything wrong EXACTLY, but I think in all kindness it would have been nice of you to give him a call and let him know how things went and THEN gone for that goodbye drink.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2005): no it was not. if your boyfriend cant accept that you and your ex boyfriend have come to the end of an era then he is dumb. i bet hes done it before with his exs and if he hasnt then he is quite frankly not normal. sorry but its true. take my advice and just explain to him that its the end of an era for you and your ex husband and you need to say a proper goodbye.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2005): NO, he is. YOu have children with this man. And, divorce is not about stopping to love someone, its is about realizing you can't live with him anymore. You will be seeing him many times because of your children. Why should you not celebrate the good times you had, and the effort you both made to make the marriage go? And why can't you celebrate settling the matters involved in a divorce between yourselves, like responsible adults, rather than paying a couple of lawyers lots of money to fight over everything for you, and generally get both of you permanently pissed at each other . You did learn what a jerk this new guy is, and that was worth the drink. Have many second thoughts about getting further involved with him. He sounds very insecure and wants to control you. That will not work for you. Unless he changes, and gets counseling to deal with his insecurity issues, he will never be Mr. Right for you.
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female
reader, beenthere +, writes (9 November 2005):
you did nothing wrong. it sounds like your boyfriend was jealous. he can't expect you to just completely cut ties with the father of your children. he should be glad you stayed friends. it will make your new relationship easier as you won't be fighting in courts for years which really would have a big impact on your new relationship
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