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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, hoping for advice regarding a guy who's playing serious games with me! As regards one in a million ways that he plays me around, here is an example of what happened last night... saw him out and tried to ignore him, which didn't work as I fancy the pants off him. He turned up in every single bar I went to and I ended up speaking to him in the 3rd. Tried to impress me with how well he is doing and has set up his own business, which I'm pretty sure is lies, as I've heard he's still in the same job that he always has been in.Went on rather pathetically about how he's got two houses now rarr rarr, showing off... Couldn't keep his eyes off me all night and followed me to a nightclub where we ended up kissing (don't know what I see in him but underneath it all he's a sweet, fanciable guy that I've fallen for). We went for a night stroll, on which he came on strongly to me but I refused to do anything except kiss him). At the end of the night he said some stuff about how he sees me like a sister, blah blah (like you come onto your sister!) and how he hopes I find someone special because he cares about me and how he's shacked up with some new girlfriend who is so special to him... Made me think, “well why have you been coming on to me all night then if you've got this 'super special' girlfriend?” He then disappeared into the night and left me to walk home in tears! This has been going on over years now, always the same thing. .come on strongly then suddenly go cold on me! When I try to ignore him out it’s so hard because he just looks over constantly and I always feel an air of awkwardness when I see his mates! I think about him a lot but what is his game? Answers very much appreciated. Louise xx
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female
reader, HopeFaithLove +, writes (26 November 2005):
It's called "Avoidant Personality Disorder". Look it up. A person who has this rejects someone first because they really can't stand to be rejected.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (14 November 2005):
 Ignore this nut case in the future unless you are a glutton for punishment. Nothing but grief with this guy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): Louise,Open a magazine (celebrity, porno, sports whatever) and there are probably plenty of people you might fancy the pants off of. But in the absence of any other information about them and their character, how can you say that they are appropriate for anything other than just a sexual relationship? There are a lot of people in this world who you might be attrached to who you just cant have a relationship with. Sorry, get resigned to it.You already know a lot of thing about this guy that say you shouldnt be in a real realtionship with him. You werent thinking of tring to change him, right? Right?Anyway, why does he go hot and cold? Because he wants sex, and you arent coming across. Are you ok with a sexual relationship that isnt much more than that? If so, on the next moonlight stroll, go tell him you want sex and what you want the parameters of your relationship are to be. Just dont expect it to become bf/gf. The most important thing to remember is just because there is a attraction that doesnt mean that a relationship is destiny. Should you be the gf of every crack addicted male model in Cosmo? No Way. Same applies here.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): Louise, if he's willing to come on to you, what does that tell you when he has a gf at home? You fancy a guy whose behaviours are speaking loud and clear to you, that he's immature and he's a cad. This man has a chaotic life, a girlfriend who lives with him but he's coming onto you (he's looking to cheat). Aside from sending you mixed messages, he playing hurtful playing mindgames with you. Any guy that can make you cry and you're not even dating him, is a man to be kicked to the curb. He simply not worth the worry and stress. You weren't crying for nothing, you know. Take those tears and heartache and learn from it. You are having an excellent preview of what a future with this man would be like: chaos and heartbreak. Take serious note of that. A man who has a gf already, would be a poor bet, because it would show lack of control and judgment on his part and if he has roving eyes with you, what would it be like, if you did date him? Don't cause yourself any further pain..get over him and get out and make new and nicer friends. Good luck to you, Louise.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): Tellhim you met someone special. if he tries to come on to you again, tell him his penis is far too small to pleasure you =) what a burrrrn!!! he will avoid you forever. then you can go find your prince charming.
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A
female
reader, beenthere +, writes (14 November 2005):
this is definitely a game. he knows you like him and he's using that for fun. keep trying to ignore him. finds someone who really wants you. he's definitely not worth your time
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