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female
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anonymous
writes: I dont know what to do. Me and my boyfriend were only dating for about 3 months but we were so in love. It was like love at first sight when we first met. Then he told me he wouldn't be able to come here anymore until winter was over (he lives in diff state, his parents own estates here) we still had a commitment of always being together, but I ended up having sex with someone. I have no feelings whatsoever for this guy. This guy was one of my friends' boyfriends, but I didn't know that at the time. She found out about it and used it as blackmail against me and told the one I love. I e-mailed him explaining this to him, but I don't know if he'll take me back. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (11 November 2005):
 You reap what you sow. If he doesn't forgive you then move on and please, for the world's sake, use birth control as you sleep around.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2005): sleeping with someone you dont love sounds worse then if you slept with another guy two-timing your bf
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female
reader, joislack +, writes (10 November 2005):
you deserve it. you sound so young and confused. why are you sleeping with other people and you are "so in love" people like you are too horny to be "committed" get help before you hurt someone again. he can do better than you.what would you do if he cheated. and if say you wouldn't mind that says alot about you. if you say you will be mad that says alot too.either way he can do better than you. stop being so spoiled and stop thinking your feelings are more important than his! that girl had every right to blackmail you!i just hope she did something to him also. if she is getting revenge on you then he deserves it too! but you have to go through some pain for "the good feeling you got"!you not only cheated on your boyfriend but you did it with someone you barely knew anything about. if you did know him you would atleast know he was with someone. if you spent a reasonable amount of time with him before you slept with him. you probably knew he had a girlfriend but since you didn't know it was you friend it was ok? please.what goes around come around! KARMA!if you cna just have sex with people like that why should your boyfriend take you back.it took nothing for you to cheat on him so what will it take next time?
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reader, robinlovescena +, writes (10 November 2005):
 Ok, first what were you thinking???
just kidding. you are stressing out, and you do not need someone up your butt about it. Well anyways i think that what you did was wrong, and him not taking you back is the consequence of having sex with a guy that you dont even like. i think that you just lost a friend and a boyfriend.
well good luck. talk to them about it, and hopefully they will understandable about this whole situation
good luck
~Robin~
aka advice gurl
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (9 November 2005):
 Oh dear, you are in a pickle, aren't you? I can see that you really love this guy and it sometimes takes something like this to make us realise just how much people mean to us. Whether he takes you back or not, you've certainly learnt a lesson of self control and that love is so much more amazing than you could ever have imagined.
You'll have to do some serious grovelling and, if he does decide to give you another chance, there's gonna be loads of work involved to get the trust back too. You have to speak to him and tell him exactly how you feel and see whether he is willing to move on with the relationship or move on without you. Good luck
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female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (9 November 2005):
 First off, if you really loved him you should have confessed to the affair immediately. This would have given the other woman no way of blackmailing you and let you keep some kind of dignity in the situation. Your best chance at reconsiling the situation with him would be to regain his trust. If he knows that he will be in a situation of not being able to watch over you at all times, this will surely be difficult. Don't fool yourself into thinking that by telling him that the other man meant nothing to you will ease his breaking heart either, that just shows your lack of discretion regarding matters of sex. Instead try being honest, with yourself as much as with him, you need to figure out why you did this and how you will keep yourself from doing it again. I would say before you try to enter into another commited relationship, seek counseling and learn about yourself, other wise you will be doomed to repeat your mistakes in the future.
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female
reader, beenthere +, writes (9 November 2005):
however you felt about this other guy, you still cheated on your bf. he may forgive you. your friend shouldn't have blackmailed you though especially if you didn't know he was her bf. tell your friend that this guy is as much to blame as you are. he cheated on your friend and he knew he was with her. i can understand your friend being upset and wanting revenge but the four of you need to talk together if the matter is to be resolved especially if you all want to stay with your respective partners
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