Unhappily married and having an affair. Should I stay married just for my kids?
Q. I have been unhappily married since my daughter was born seven years ago. I was rejected and ruined. I tried and tried to make things work. I threatened to leave. I found someone that cared. We had an affair for four years. He is also married ...
A. 1 February 2006: Some people DO need a kick in the ass. It's the only way to get their full attention. Actions that knowingly hurt others especially children cannot be condoned for any reason. Sugar-coating cheating, adultery, etc... doesn't change the hurtful ... (read in full...)
We're having marriage problems and neither of us wants to move out! What should I do?
Q. I WANT TO LEAVE MY HUSBAND.I CANT AFFORD TO MOVE OUT AND HE WONT WHAT CAN I DO...
A. 1 February 2006: Not much at this point. I guess you need to start saving money until you can afford to move. Is there any family member you could get a loan from? ... (read in full...)
Unhappily married and having an affair. Should I stay married just for my kids?
Q. I have been unhappily married since my daughter was born seven years ago. I was rejected and ruined. I tried and tried to make things work. I threatened to leave. I found someone that cared. We had an affair for four years. He is also married ...
A. 1 February 2006: You should get a divorce. You can then move on with your life. Your husband deserves a faithful partner give him the freedom to find one. Your child deserves a mother she can respect.... (read in full...)
My partner want to give birth without medical help...this is dangerous and I am worried. What should I do?
Q. how do i cope with a woman in labour? she's 27, but wants no medical interventions - i told her this was dumb and she could be endangering her and our unborn baby's life but she said that if she went for any checkups or anything then they might ...
A. 31 January 2006: It is very foolish of her not to get checkups, have the baby at home if she wants to but the prenatal checkups can reveal any problems with the fetus. Some of these can be corrected in the womb before the baby is born. Most Doctors won't interfere ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant with my divorced, older-man's baby. Now I've seen him in town with his ex-wife...
Q. I have been secretly seeing someone that is 10 years older than me. We have been together for almost 9 months now. He has been married and has a child. He told me that I was his only one. He said that him and his wife were divorced and I should feel ...
A. 29 January 2006: Well it looks like you just bought the farm kiddo. Tell the jerk about the baby and maybe you might be able to get some child support out of his sorry ass. And remember in the future that anytime you have to sneak around secretly seeing someone they ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my intelligent bf to stop with the insensitive, smart answers to my feelings. He can be insulting and it hurts. Help me here
Q. Help, My smart bf is always rubbing in my face how smart he is, and I always feel stupid and pissed off. When I'm annoyed with something and tell him, instead of him saying it's ok you'll get through, or just by saying it'll be ok, calms me down, ...
A. 27 January 2006: It's mind numbing why you would still be in this relationship. Drop him like a hot potato. ... (read in full...)
He hits me, he hurts me but I can't see a future without him
Q. 6 months relationship, lifetime hell. Need help, advice, anything. I met this perfect guy. Love him to bits, really do. Given up every single thing for him. Stopped being close to people I used to be, willing to move away from my family for ...
A. 27 January 2006: Your last sentence needs to be rewritten, dear. "I can't see a future WITH him." You realize you have to get out of this relationship before he does hurt you permanently or worse, don't you. You aren't happy now so you really have nothing to lose by ... (read in full...)
Is it okay for an egaged man to allow other women to feel his bottom?!
Q. Do you think its right for an engaged man to go around and let other women feel his butt? He works out alot, and tries to prove it to other women by letting them cop a feel. I don't think his fiancee' is aware of this....
A. 27 January 2006: I don't think you should be BUTTING your nose into this. It's strictly bewteen BUTTMAN and his fiance. What business is this of yours?... (read in full...)
My ex and I started sleeping together again-but now he doesn't want me anymore! Please help-how do I deal with this?
Q. Please someone help me, I started sleeping with my ex just after he finished with his girlfriend at the time. My ex started giving me the wrong impression. i thought he was still really liked me, so i made the first move and now he has told me h...
A. 27 January 2006: Consider it a lesson learned. Time to move on. Good Luck!... (read in full...)
Out of my old relationship, I want to try to see an earlier ex-GF. Do I have a chance?
Q. I just got out of a relationship and really want to contact a girl I dated before I got together with my ex gf. I think I made the wrong choices by not seeing her anymore and getting into a relationship with my ex. I really clicked with this girl, ...
A. 26 January 2006: Try again after a week or so and if she doesn't get back to you, let it go and move on. Good Luck!... (read in full...)
What was my motivation for a drunken snog with another guy?
Q. I cheated on my boyfriend, when I was extremely drunk and kissed another guy whilst my boyfriend was overseas. My boyfriend has been in another country for 2 months and is away for another 5. He's the only one I want to be with for the rest of my ...
A. 26 January 2006: Get over it and lay off the sauce. 5 months will fly by and you'll be together. Good luck!... (read in full...)
How much masturbation is too much?
Q. Hello, I'm 13 years old, though rather mature for my age. However I masturbate 2-3 times a day sometimes. Is this too much? ...
A. 26 January 2006: Yes, you may want to scale down :@... (read in full...)
We broke up over my insecurities with her. Now I want to show her I've changed...
Q. My ex broke up with me a month and a half ago. After we broke up we agreed to be friends. We talked online etc for a while, but after a while I believe I pushed her away by telling her that I missed her and writing her poems etc. We haven't ...
A. 26 January 2006: Go on over to her house and hang with her brother and your other friends. Be friendly towards but just friendly. Over time she will feel more relaxed around you. She will let you know if she wants more from you than just friendship. Go have fun!... (read in full...)
He's dealing with his problems and trying to get a job, so why can't my family leave off about my boyfriend?
Q. Hi, I'm 21 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. To start with, he was ambitious, with a good job until he quit. For the last year he is going through a stage where he doesn't want to get a job, and is constantly smoking Cannabis...
A. 26 January 2006: Well sorry but your boyfriend does sound like a bum. He needs a boot in the butt. You aren't helping him either by defending his bad behavior. Who's footing the weed bills? If you are, you really are screwing things up. A year is a long time to be ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my boyfriend's ex wife at the party?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months, and he is in the process of getting divorced, and up to now I have successfully avoided any contact with his ex-wife. This Friday I am attending a birthday where she will be there as well, and I ...
A. 26 January 2006: I agree with Irish, be a class act. Hopefully it will set the tone for any future situations. Chin up and smile!... (read in full...)
Already have a girlfriend, but now I realise that another girl likes me too!
Q. Hi, I have a gf but this nice girl likes me. I like them both. What do I do?...
A. 26 January 2006: Tell your girlfriend you want the freedom to date other people as well as her. If she only wants a monogamous relationship then it's your call whether to dump her or not. You obviously, and rightly so, aren't ready to settle down just yet. There's ... (read in full...)
Does he love me more than he loves sport?
Q. I have been with my fiance for over two years and there's one fight we keep having over and over again: I feel like he loves sports more than me. When I asked him if he would be more excited about getting married to me or his team winning the ...
A. 26 January 2006: Learn the sport and then you can enjoy it together. Football is really fun to watch once you understand the game. If you can't lick 'em join 'em. Go Steelers!... (read in full...)
Our sex life has gone down hill...help!
Q. My wife and I have been married for nearly 5 years and together for 3 years before that. The sex was great before we were married and even OK for the first few months after. However in the past 4 years it has been lousy. Any interaction between us ...
A. 26 January 2006: You are a girl does that make you a slut or a whore? I don't get it!?... (read in full...)
There are so many possibilities why my GF wanted to finished with me. Which is it?
Q. Wanting my gf back, I need help My gf broke up with me just about 2 weeks ago. I don't know why but she just finished me. I think one major thing that happened a week before she split up with me was that a guy indecently exposed himself to her a...
A. 26 January 2006: Just be friendly but leave the boyfriend/girlfriend aspect out of it. If she wants more than friendship, she'll let you know. Good luck!... (read in full...)
I've got my own "monster-in-law"! Is it best to cut off all contact with her?
Q. Hi I am 35 nad have a fabulous 5 year old boy. My hubby is great too, but unfortunately his mother is like every bad stereotype of the bad ma-in-law there is! She throws strops about anything and everything, she managed to ruin our wedding ...
A. 26 January 2006: Firstly, if she doesn't follow your wishes regarding your child then I would not allow her to be alone with him EVER. And you should tell her why. Secondly, if your husband doesn't want to deal with his own mother, then you certainly shouldn'... (read in full...)
I don't want my guy to leave and go to sea, but I don't want to feel guilty for holding him back, either!
Q. I've recently met this guy that I really like and we've been dating since the end of August. I just recently found out that he wants a career going out to sea for maybe 3 or 4 months at a time. At this point, I can see myself with him for a very ...
A. 26 January 2006: Well you will just have to ask yourself "Are you better off with him, all be it with 3 to 4 months separations, or will you be better off without him". If this is something he really wants to do it, would be wrong to ask him to give up his dream. ... (read in full...)
Suddenly after 5 years together, my boyfriend hit me when he disagreed. Am I wrong not to want to sacrifice what we have over this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and just recently I've seen a side to him that I've never seen before. We had been out drinking and something made him mad. He wanted me to go home because he was going to his house. I didn't want ...
A. 25 January 2006: He will hit you again if he thinks you are going to let him get away with it. I know you don't want to break up but men who hit usually never stop until they are locked up for good. Please realize that you deserve to be treated with respect at all ... (read in full...)
I'm 16, a mum, and expecting twins! If I tell the baby's dad, I'm afraid he'll leave!
Q. I am 16 years old and I already have a son called Nicholas. I recently found out I am three months pregnant. Yesterday I went for a scan and have found out that I am expecing twins - I'm together with the father but I know how he will react to this ...
A. 25 January 2006: Well you can't keep it a secret for very long so you'll have to tell him. Maybe his reaction will surprise you. Good luck!
PS I assume you know by now what causes this condition??!!!... (read in full...)
My husband had an "email affair" (maybe more?) and not sure I'll ever get over it...
Q. This happened a few years ago but there are times it comes back to haunt me. My husband had an 'emotional' affair. This all started happening when our kids were 6 and 2. He always talked about "Kim" at work...she's so nice, blah, blah. I always ...
A. 25 January 2006: Don't beat yourself up over this, HE'S the one without the honor, you were a loving trusting wife. Good luck with your counseling it will make you feel much better and I'm sure you'll be all right.... (read in full...)
My gf is a self-harmer and I'm worried sick about her. What should I do?
Q. My girlfriend of over a year is a self-harmer. I dont know how to deal with as she wont talk about it and says 'it's private.' I feel helpless, worrried sick and guilty. What should I do? ...
A. 25 January 2006: Do you mean she cuts herself? Anorexic? Bulimic? Not enough info here but what there is very disconcerting. Try to get her to go see a counselor or psychologist, it’s totally private and she can talk freely. Let her know that you are there for her ... (read in full...)
I'm 9 years older than him and he won't tell his parents about us. Is he embarrassed of me?
Q. i have been with my partner for nearly twelve months. at 34, I am 9 years older than him and have two children who love him to bits. the trouble is he will not tell his parents that we are together. when i question this he says they may not ...
A. 25 January 2006: He probably just doesn't want to deal with the hassle that may develop when he does tell his parents. It may not be due to any embarrassment of you. You can always ask him. In any case he'll have to tell them about you sooner or later so he might as ... (read in full...)
Visions of her past sexual history haunt me..it's a serious problem and I need specific advice.
Q. How do I get over my wife's sexual history? Please be specific. I don't need any comments stating to "just get over it," or the "past is the past." I'm well aware of these things, but I just can't. I made the mistake of asking about her past, and ...
A. 25 January 2006: I'm afraid you are going to need to seek professional help on this one. You will be able to figure out just why this is bugging you so badly. It could be a self-esteem problem or it could something all together different. For the sake of your ... (read in full...)
He lied to me! Told me he was 26 and he's really ...45!! What should I do?
Q. I'm almost 17 but my boyfriend's recently just told me that he's 45 after telling me 7 months ago that he was 26.He was too scared to tell me in case that i would dump him. He really loves me and i really love him too, but where would we get from ...
A. 25 January 2006: Let me sort this out...he told you he was 26 and you think he looks like 30 but in truth he is 45?! If you don't have any problems with age difference then what's the deal? Unfortunately you indicate by the tone of your letter that you do indeed ... (read in full...)
My husband had an "email affair" (maybe more?) and not sure I'll ever get over it...
Q. This happened a few years ago but there are times it comes back to haunt me. My husband had an 'emotional' affair. This all started happening when our kids were 6 and 2. He always talked about "Kim" at work...she's so nice, blah, blah. I always ...
A. 25 January 2006: I'm glad you are undergoing therapy, 'nuts' maybe then you'll realize you are only try to cover your lack of character and honor with pitiful excuses for you behavior. But enough about you. Good luck to you 'yaddayadda', let us know how things turn ... (read in full...)
I'm bored and lonely-so should I call up this nerdy guy I broke up with?
Q. I broke up with this guy I was seeing for 3 months because I he's kind of a little too nerdy. but we did connect and I did have a lot of fun with him. well it's 3 months later and now I want to get in touch with him again, I think maybe because no ...
A. 24 January 2006: Do not contact him. Nobody deserves to be someone's sloppy seconds. Nerds have feelings too and they deserves respect. And of course they also can make big bucks...look at Bill Gates. I'll bet Melinda doesn't regret hanging out with a nerd.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend finally trusts me. Give me some ideas on how to build on that, please!
Q. I've been dating this girl for about 4 months and she has had a lot of bad break ups. Now she has a problem with trusting guys. She finally told me yesterday that she trusted me. I really care about her a lot and I was wondering when and how should ...
A. 24 January 2006: Just by your wondering about this makes me sure that your relationship is off to the very best start. Have fun and enjoy your new love!... (read in full...)
My husband had an "email affair" (maybe more?) and not sure I'll ever get over it...
Q. This happened a few years ago but there are times it comes back to haunt me. My husband had an 'emotional' affair. This all started happening when our kids were 6 and 2. He always talked about "Kim" at work...she's so nice, blah, blah. I always ...
A. 24 January 2006: Sorry 'must b nuts' but your sorry excuse for your actions just doesn't wash. "Addiction" indeed. And speaking of being sensitive, what comfort could this suffering wife possibly get from your response? Cheating goes absolutely against everything ... (read in full...)
I'd really rather not discuss my sexual past with my wife, but she insists on details and it's hurting both of us!
Q. I am married 8 mounths to a great woman. She is truly a great wife. We are in our second marriages, mine a 20 year and hers was 15. She has 3 children, I have 3 and we have one on the way between us both. Great life, right? But when it comes to...
A. 24 January 2006: Yep I agree with the previous aunt. You guys need to cut this crap out, RIGHT NOW! Talk to her, tell her what you just told us and then if she brings the subject up again, leave the room. Start making so many memories in the bedroom that there will ... (read in full...)
My husband had an "email affair" (maybe more?) and not sure I'll ever get over it...
Q. This happened a few years ago but there are times it comes back to haunt me. My husband had an 'emotional' affair. This all started happening when our kids were 6 and 2. He always talked about "Kim" at work...she's so nice, blah, blah. I always ...
A. 24 January 2006: Of course you feel you can't trust him. You've been hurt too deeply by all this crap he's pulled. Ignore 'must b nuts' (she is) emotional cheating is just as devastating as physical cheating and sometimes more so. You are going to need alot of ... (read in full...)
He's had so many lovers...what if a long lost child of his sudenly turns up?
Q. My boyfriend has slept with over 100 women in the last 10 years (which I think is really bad, but that's another issue!) Anyway, the other day I was asking him questions about his past and he told me that probably about 90 of these were ...
A. 23 January 2006: I'd say it would be entirely possible that a child could surface but I would expect any woman would try to contact the father as soon as she finds out she's pregnant so as to collect the child support she's due. So if your relationship is at least 9 ... (read in full...)
I think my friend is just being used by her younger, gay friend. Am I the only one who thinks the relationship is weird?
Q. A close (intimate) female friend-53- has a relationship with a younger gay male- 40- which upsets me. She is in the US, he in Europe.They met on a trip a year ago at a resort and seem to have developed a relationship where they communicate almost ...
A. 23 January 2006: Uh John99? That was supposed to be: Good Luck with the LADIES. My Bad.... (read in full...)
My husband isn't attracted to me any more. What can I do to improve?
Q. I really need advice as to what I could do to make myself more attractive to my husband as he is no longer as attracted to me. I have asked him but he seems to be too embarrassed to tell me....or thinks he will upset me. Any ideas?...
A. 23 January 2006: Take a good hard look in the mirror. Do you think you look okay or do you see areas that need improvement? If you decide that all is well then work on your attitude. Show Hubby that silly side he once thought was so charming, or your sweet side and ... (read in full...)
It kinda feels wrong that he's cheating on her to be with me! Is it?
Q. ok so I really like this guy alot and he likes me alot too..problem is he wont get rid of his girlfriend...he tells me that he tried to end it with her..but she wont let him go...so really he is cheating on her with me...i dont no what to do it ...
A. 23 January 2006: Tell him to piss or get off the pot. And hands off until he has made his decision and acted on it.... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has an erection??
Q. heya i am 16 and i want to know how i know if my 16 year old boyfriend has an erection around me. if we hug or kiss or something how do i know if he has an erection without asking him cos i dont really wanna ask him ha ha. is there any signs li...
A. 23 January 2006: If you don't know then you are much too young and innocent to even BE GIVING someone an erection. Go play with your Barbies for a few more years dear.... (read in full...)
Worried I'm becoming obsessed with my female teachers!
Q. hi, im a 15 year old girl. I really fancy 4 of my teachers and they are women in their 20's, in class i even get out to walk past their rooms and have a look at them. I really think i'm in love with all of them i try everything to get them to notice ...
A. 23 January 2006: When one is a baby they have a "crush" on their parents, when one hits their young adulthood they get "crushes" on teachers or bosses. It happens to everyone and really can be kinda fun. It just teaches a person what traits they like and admire so ... (read in full...)
How best to break-up so I don't get screwed, money-wise?
Q. hi, what is the best way to break up with a person? iv been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years and i am very unhappy and i also beleave he has been having a relationship with another women, i have confronted him about this yet i dont ...
A. 23 January 2006: Unfortunately there is very little legal recourse when two unmarried people live together and share finances. Try to figure out the amounts that belong to only you and those that belong to only him. Then split the shared ones down the middle. ... (read in full...)
I think my friend is just being used by her younger, gay friend. Am I the only one who thinks the relationship is weird?
Q. A close (intimate) female friend-53- has a relationship with a younger gay male- 40- which upsets me. She is in the US, he in Europe.They met on a trip a year ago at a resort and seem to have developed a relationship where they communicate almost ...
A. 23 January 2006: You are very welcome John99. I think her loss will dawn on her in a very short time. Stay the class act that you are and good luck with the laddies!... (read in full...)
I think my friend is just being used by her younger, gay friend. Am I the only one who thinks the relationship is weird?
Q. A close (intimate) female friend-53- has a relationship with a younger gay male- 40- which upsets me. She is in the US, he in Europe.They met on a trip a year ago at a resort and seem to have developed a relationship where they communicate almost ...
A. 19 January 2006: I can see why this would be important enough for you to end your relationship with her. If you have explained all this to her and she still feels she wants to go on vacation with her little friend then you have no other choice. Get out there and ... (read in full...)
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