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female
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*luvandconfused
writes: My husband does nothing but yell at me, and our marriage has constantly been going down hill for the past year. I haven't left him. I just sit here and put up with it, and not to mention he is always yelling at our kids. I would like to be with someone that will take care of me and my kids because they want to not because they have to. He is always telling me that the only reason that he married me is because I was pregnant. What should I do? Should I follow my heart or just stick around and deal with it even longer? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2005): Every child born needs to have a father who deeply loves and commits to its mother-and marriage is the only place in this world that kind of commitment happens. This is not happening in your situation and I am sorry that you are enduring this hell with this man. Therefore, I would recommend you look at his abusive behaviors and realize that you need to get out of this marriage so you and your children can live your lives with integrity and a sense of harmony. You married a man who stood up and proclaimed in a marriage ceremony-that you are his wife and he commits to you and raising your children together in a loving home. You should have never expected anything less. Any other option is third-rate and not good enough for your children. He broke that promise-because he has chosen to become a sad, broken man. This is his problem-not yours. He is no longer a good, caring husband and devoted father who is displaying respect & love to his family, so now it's vital, you protect yourself and those kids. Do what you have to but get him out and seek some family counselling for you and the kids. It will take courage, strength, pain and a ton of support from trusted friends and family but it can be done. Hire a lawyer, hun and start life anew...your children will benefit from a strong, happier, empowered Mother. I wish you and your children well. Take Care, dear and hang in there.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): What an A**HOLE!!!! that is terrible, he should have never said that to you. you are sooo much better off without him. you two are not going to make it. you can split up on your terms or his when he leaves youfor someone else. Leave him. what a prick this guy is. cut off the nookie. and he will be sweeter untill you leave.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 November 2005):
 One of the greatest Agony Aunts, Ann Landers, would always say "Ask yourself this question, Are you better off with him or without him?" That means emotionally as well as financially. If the answer is "without" then the course is clear, contact a lawyer and start the divorce proceedings. If the answer is "with" then you'll need think about getting some counseling to see if you can smooth some of the edges in the marriage. I wish you wisdom and good luck in making this decision,
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