How can I learn to worry less about the past, so I can move on in my life?
Q. I am seperated from my wife. It has been a year and we have a little boy of 2yrs and 8 months. I have these overwhelming feelings of guilt for leaving both my wife and my little boy. I phone my little lad every day and I see him every 2 weekends ...
A. 11 November 2005: "I just left coz I had had enough !!" Yep, you should be feeling pretty guilty all right. You owe your wife an explanation for why you left. Then you can decide to be as supportive of her as she raises your son. Nobody deserves to stay in a ... (read in full...)
My old ex-boyfriend is back and I'd rather be with him than with my husband...
Q. Hi I need some advice. I have been married for 3 years, and an ex-boyfriend came into the picture that I still care about. I want to be with him but I can't get a divorce for that. What do I do?...
A. 11 November 2005: Not a blamed thing until you divorce your husband first. What part of "forsaking all others" don't you understand? If your marriage means so little to you then end it. Your husband comes before any old boyfriend. Have some honor and respect the vows ... (read in full...)
Neither of us expected our affair with married partners to become so intense...
Q. I have been having an affair with a married woman for nearly 18 months. I am also married and my wife is away a lot of the time. We were together one evening when she started crying and said she didn't want to go home. Then, the following day she ...
A. 8 November 2005: Just because your wife is away alot of the time (I assume that is due to her job?) that is absolutely no excuse for your having an affair. Sheesh what about the word MARRIED don't you understand? Let that lady to tend her marriage and you ... (read in full...)
I have a connection with my ex that transcends his marriage and our distance!
Q. I am entangled and sad. I'm still deeply in love with my former boyfriend and I don't know what to do. We have been separated for some years and we have both moved on with our lives. Although I was never able to forget about him, I got a new lover ...
A. 8 November 2005: You are out of luck as long as he is married. Under these circumstances you have no business seeing him or talking to him. Let him get on with his life, he has a family now. If you pursue the matter any further you will be a homewrecker and cause ... (read in full...)
After just a few months together, all my bf wants to do is talk about moving in together and getting married!
Q. What should I do when my boyfriend of three months is arleady making plans to get married and move in together? Every time we see each other I feel like that's all he wants to talk about, I've even caught him looking at wedding cakes magazines and ...
A. 8 November 2005: Well, obviously talking to him doesn't do any good so I guess I would just ignore the magazines and wedding cake chatter. Just change the subject. You are absolutely right to take your time about moving in or getting married. Also don't share ... (read in full...)
I cheated and I know I'm an idiot. What can I say to my girlfriend?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years now. She is the one and only person in my life that means so so much to me. I feel like I am one of the biggest idiots I have ever known. I cheated on her during a Halloween party last week. I was ...
A. 8 November 2005: First off I'd let her read what you just wrote here. Then ask for her forgiveness about the Halloween fiasco,if she finds out about it on her own your goose will really be cooked. If she does decide to give you a second chance then it's up to you to ... (read in full...)
He asked me to move in and I thought things were serious...
Q. I have been dating a guy for 4 months. It seemed very serious, he asked me to move in. He says he loves me then the very next day he says he doesn't want a serious relationship, etc...but wants to see me in a couple of weeks as friends, no sex. ...
A. 8 November 2005: I guess he changed his mind or got cold feet. Nevertheless I suggest you move on. After all 4 months isn't a HUGE investment.... (read in full...)
Should I break up with him before or after the holidays?
Q. I have lots of problems, but one is whether I should stay with my boyfriend or not? We've been together for just over a year, but two months ago i finished with him and after three weeks, we decided to give it another try. He's very jealous an...
A. 8 November 2005: Why wait until the new year when you've made your decision already? Break it off but be firm about this time. He'll get over you in time and you'll be free to find someone new.... (read in full...)
Our separation has turned into a marriage breakup. It's worse because we work together!
Q. My wife of 20 years has decided to leave. First of all it was just a separation to think things over but after only 3 weeks she says it's the end. I am heart broken as I love her dearly. We both agreed we had been taking each other for granted and I ...
A. 8 November 2005: I'm so sorry this has happened. Maybe she will change her mind after more time goes by. But if she won't go get counseling then you go just to help with the grief if not anything else. You'll feel better for it, really. She may come around if you ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my husband with my half-cousin and now he tells me our affair is over!
Q. Hello. I just dont know where to start! I have been with my husband for 7 years and we have a great 5 year old son. Earlier in the year i met up again with my half cousin that i haven't seen for years, he was really good looking!We exchange...
A. 8 November 2005: You need to divorce your wonderful husband and give him custody of your wonderful little boy so they can find a decent woman to be their wife and mother. You are not worthy to be either. Give your family a chance for a happy life. After your divorce ... (read in full...)
The woman I want is with someone. What can I do?
Q. For the past eight months, I've been gradually and hopelessly falling for someone whom was in love with someone. Now I'm afraid I've finally fallen in love with her despite the fate she's with someone else. my question is do I let go and fade away ...
A. 8 November 2005: If she isn't married I'd go for it. Let her know how you feel and see if she's inerested. If not then you'll just have to move on.... (read in full...)
What would YOU do in my situation?
Q. What would you do? I am shocked that I am struggling in this area but I really am having a problem. I know it's not right so I am not wanting to know if it's right or wrong. I am just curious to know what others would do in this situatio...
A. 8 November 2005: You simply have a crush on your boss. I advise changing jobs if you can. It will fade away eventually however. Prayer will help.... (read in full...)
Is the fact that my husband "needs" time with his friends normal?
Q. Hello, I ve been married for 10 months. I love my husband and I know he loves me too. He has this habit of going to the cafe across the street and sit with his friends, talk , play cards and stuff. I made it clear that I am not really excited a...
A. 7 November 2005: If the cafe is just across the street and it's only once or twice a week I don't see that as a big problem. Has he ever invited you to go along? If not ask if you can join him once in a while. Otherwise why not find a group that meets once a week: ... (read in full...)
There's an age gap and he's married and he has kids. But I can't help the fact that I love him!
Q. I've known some family friends for a number of years and have always got on really well with the dad. Recently he told me he loved me, and I think I feel the same about him. We kissed and got quite physical. We get on so well, and always have done. ...
A. 7 November 2005: "Kissed and got quite physical"...well Hello Lolita! You need alittle reality adjustment, Babycakes. He's a low-life if he's goofing around behind his wife's back - YOU DON'T NEED TO BE PART OF THAT. He's just using you to get his kicks - YOU DON'T ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid if I marry my boyfriend, he'll continue his late nights at the pub while I continue to wait for him to come home!
Q. I am writing this because I am at the end of my patience with a realtationship. When we met I was overwelmed by the love and happyness in the realtionship and after 3 years togther we have got a lovely house and we often talk about getting married ...
A. 6 November 2005: You can bet the farm that if you marry him, you'll have a lot of free evenings at home. Your call, but I say dump him and look for someone who wants to spend time with YOU.... (read in full...)
Our relationship looks headed for breakup and we know it. So why is it still so painful?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 1/2 years now and we live. I haven't been feeling satfisfied in the relationship, emotionally. I've told him, but I haven't seen any effort on his part. So we talked some more and we decided to give our ...
A. 6 November 2005: Sounds like the pain comes from your fear of the unknown not love. Change can be very unsettling but it is necessary sometimes for things to improve. Go for it girl. You won't regret it.... (read in full...)
My wife told me everything about the guy who sent her a drink and danced with her. She says it's nothing...
Q. I'm suffering from jealousy. It's never happened before. As a matter of fact, it's always been the opposite. We've been married 20 years. My wife is a wonderful, beautiful lady. She is EXTREMELY attracative and gets lots of people looking a...
A. 6 November 2005: You have a jewel there, pal. She's all yours so relax and enjoy your good fortune. You'll regret it until the day you die if you screw things up with mindless, petty jealousy. Go give her a big kiss after you read this!... (read in full...)
What do I tell her when I say that I think we should break up?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 5-years now. Here lately things just haven't been the same. Ending the relationship has crossed my mind many times recently. The one problem I have is that I am the worst at breaking up with someone. I never know ...
A. 6 November 2005: Breaking up should be fast like pulling off a bandaid. Don't give any false hopes just be firm and quick. Don't prolong her pain. ... (read in full...)
Is my soulmate still out there, while I'm still here with my boyfriend?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for four years. It has always been nice. He's supportive, a good listener, an honest, hard worker, and awesome at night. We get along very well, like best friends. I'm very comfortable and happy with him. But sometimes I ...
A. 6 November 2005: Nobody and I mean NOBODY should consider marriage unless they are ecstatically and unconditionally in love with their intended. There can be no reservations at all. If you feel like you are missing out on something NOW you can bet you will certainly ... (read in full...)
I have the dirt on my friend's cheating wife. Would it help to tell him?
Q. I just found out that my best guy friend's wife has been cheating on him. I've never liked her because she treats him like dirt. She is ten years older than him and has two grown kids from another marriage. Her kids are drug addicts and have ...
A. 6 November 2005: Most spouses can tell when their partner is having an affair, and more importantly, some choose not to confront the cheater for various reasons. You don't have a more personal reason for breaking up this marriage do you? It really boils down to the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I should also sleep with his dad, but I'm completely disgusted by the idea!
Q. I am 18 and my boyfriend is 19. He said to me the other night; "If you love me you'll sleep with me, and my dad as well." I told him that the idea was disgusting but he just repeated the idea again and laughed my opinion off. I can't understa...
A. 6 November 2005: To even contiune a conversation after a guy suggests something like that boggles my mind. Sounds like yourself may have some issues to deal with, not to mention this nutball. Get away from him and get some counseling on the way.... (read in full...)
I think the tutor fancies me as much as I do him!
Q. Dear Cupid, There's a tutor at my university, who I really fancy, he doesn't teach me but I got chatting to him in a cafe when he sat down next to my flat mates who are his students. He's very nice, a great sense of humour, intelligent, an...
A. 5 November 2005: Ahh youth is wasted on the wrong people. Quit wasting your time, get out and have some fun with people your own age. This is your time to shine. Do it.... (read in full...)
My ex wanted my permission to date another guy. I said it was fine, but I lied!
Q. Well, my ex dumped me for my best friend and she wanted my "approval" before they could go out. Being the nice person that I am, I said it was fine and that I didn't mind but, boy did I lie. Every time I see them together it hurts more and more and ...
A. 5 November 2005: Wait.... (read in full...)
I was trying for a romantic gesture for my boyfriend and ended up waiting 20 minutes in the freezing weather!
Q. Sorry for such a long question but I really need some advice and I think you need to know the background to help me!! I'm very confused at the moment, I've been going out with my bf for 3years. We've been on and off for the last three months but ...
A. 5 November 2005: He isn't making an effort because he doesn't care. This relationship sounds pretty much over to me. I'd go looking for greener pastures and quit wasting my time.
... (read in full...)
I was too shy to tell my friend how I felt about her, and she said Yes to someone else...
Q. I have an urgent question and in dire need of some help. I have been hanging out with this girl for a couple of weeks now and she is single as am I and we just totally clicked with each other we spend most of the time talking to each. People also ...
A. 5 November 2005: I think you should stay friendly with her and wait out the relationship she is having with your friend. If it fizzles out you can then make your move without hurting anyone's feelings.... (read in full...)
It seems obvious that I have to break up, but how do I let him know I'd rather be friends?
Q. Help me!! In the past year I have been romancing my childhood sweetheart. It’s been good, until I needed to move to be nearer my family. Now all he wants from me is sex....sex talk, videos anything sexual....I am a very highly sexual woman, but at t...
A. 5 November 2005: You say, "I just want to be friends". Problem solved. Now that wasn't so hard was it?... (read in full...)
I like her because she flirts with me... and with everyone. What do I do?
Q. I really fancy this bird and I don't think that she knows, but she's incredible so she probably does. She flirts with me, but she does with everyone, that's just her, that's what I like about her. I'm fat, she's fit, what should I do? I've even wro...
A. 5 November 2005: Drop the weight not just for her sake but your own. If she's interested she'll let you know but there are lots of fish so keep the line out there! Good luck.... (read in full...)
When we meet, we can't keep our eyes off each other. It's just that we're both with other people...
Q. Hi, I desperate for some advice because I'm so confused over this situation. Basically I met this bloke when I was 17 and he was 26. He's part of the regular town social scene and although he's not that amazing looking I'd always had a bit of a ...
A. 5 November 2005: You are living in a fantasy world kiddo. If he wants to be with you he'll be with you. You only have yourself to blame if you think he's using you. Move on with your life.... (read in full...)
We only have time for sex now and then, but we cuddle often. Are we abnormal, like my friend says?
Q. I have been happily married w/ my husband for the past 2 years. ours was a love match and we were together for 5 years. Though we are from different backgrounds, economic, social and caste, our families get along great too. in short life is perfect. ...
A. 5 November 2005: I agree with Bev. Your friend sounds envious. You are happy so what's the problem?... (read in full...)
I'm trying not to drive my 13-year-old daughter's relationship with her 18-yo boyfriend underground!
Q. Dear Agony Aunt, My 13 year old daughter is dating an 18 year old, she's known him since her last year in middle school. He is in the sixform of her new high-school and will be going to university next year. I feel I cannot say anything becau...
A. 5 November 2005: Make that who's the FATHER here? and Buddy you need some help and fast!... (read in full...)
My bf is separated and soon to divorce, but I think he's prolonging things, so he can see us both!
Q. Hello, My boyfriend and I have a great relationship. The only set back is that he is married (but separated). A divorce has been in the works for months. I want to leave him alone until the divorce is over. I feel that he still sneaks to see his ...
A. 5 November 2005: I suggest you run to the store and look at the doormats. It might ring a bell.... (read in full...)
In order to get full custody of her son, my fiancee had to cut off contact with me!
Q. I am engaged to be married a year from now to the most wonderful woman in the world, positively my true love. We have been best friends for 3 years and our love for each other was unstoppable and became clear last May. With her I knew a happiness ...
A. 5 November 2005: Either you or the lady are being hornswalgered. If she is a fit mother the courts will grant her custody no matter what her exhusband says. Maybe she is just using this as an excuse to end your relationship. Find out and move on with your life.... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 22. Soon I can move in with him...
Q. I'm a 15 year old girl and my boyfriend is a 22 year old man. A lot of people give us problems because we are 7 years apart but the way I look it at, it doesn't matter how old you are, what really matters is the maturity level. We have been together ...
A. 5 November 2005: Wait until you are older.... (read in full...)
My husband just isn't affectionate. No cuddles, no sex... I feel so unloved!
Q. My husband and I have been married 22 yrs. But, we have known each other since I was 13 and he was 15. We started having less and less sex about 2 yrs. ago. He was having problems keeping an erection. About 4 months ago he had to have a triple by...
A. 5 November 2005: If your husband has fully recovered from his surgery then he may want to talk to his doctor to get a prescription for Viagra (there are others as well). Once he feels comfortable knowing he can keep his erection he will feel more inclined to have ... (read in full...)
I discovered my boyfriend downloading bestiality porn...
Q. I have a serious problem and I need a non judgemental answer. I found that my boyfriend of 2 years has been downloading porn with females having sex with horses. I approached him about it and he was defensive, I feel this is wrong and told him so. I ...
A. 5 November 2005: I don't see this as a huge problem as long as you don't live on a farm. I'd keep a close eye on the guy though. Of course you can always just dump him and walk away.... (read in full...)
Will it be a problem if my best friend's ex-hubby becomes my live-in "maid"?
Q. My best friend's ex-husband wants to move in with me and my child and be our "maid". He and I are just friends and there is nothing there but I am worried about how my friend will really feel although she says she doesn't care. She has re-married ...
A. 5 November 2005: This sounds kinda looney to me. For the sake of your kids don't do it. What kind of man wants to be a maid? I repeat, don't do it!... (read in full...)
I'm trying not to drive my 13-year-old daughter's relationship with her 18-yo boyfriend underground!
Q. Dear Agony Aunt, My 13 year old daughter is dating an 18 year old, she's known him since her last year in middle school. He is in the sixform of her new high-school and will be going to university next year. I feel I cannot say anything becau...
A. 5 November 2005: I'll bet she had to change her own diapers because you didn't want to make an issue out of that either! Who's the mother here? Woman you need some help and fast! Get yourself and your daughter to a family counseling organization pronto!... (read in full...)
My husband has said he wants to wait to have sex... until we're 60!
Q. I am 24 and my husband is 29. I promised to him that we would not have sex until we were married, as we are both virgins. Now he's saying that he doesn't want sex with me until we're in our early 60s - and I find it odd. He said to me that he me...
A. 5 November 2005: What I can't understand is how you could get so deep into this relationship without realizing your husband is a nut case. He needs some serious counseling and you should be thumbing through the yellow pages for a divorce lawyer. Early 60's...sheesh... (read in full...)
Don't love the father of my daughter. Do love my ex. What do I choose?
Q. Hi, I've been in a relationship with a guy for almost 18 months now and we have a 4 month old baby daughter, the problem is I am still in love with my ex. We were together for about 16 months and I loved every minute of it, he was funny, kind, ...
A. 3 November 2005: I totally agree with the first answer! You are really a piece of work! I feel sorry for everyone in your life. I hope the father of your baby will instill in her everything that will help her to develop into a fine human being, she sure won't get it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to think he's his sister's keeper!
Q. I'm widowed and my boyfriend of 6 months has never been married. He's normal and wonderful in every way, and I believe he is going to propose soon. My problem is he feels an inordinate amount of responsibility for the care of his single sister. ...
A. 3 November 2005: Sounds like a permanent situation that you'll just have to live with if you decide to stay with him. Unless he distances himself from his sister by his own initiative there nothing you can do about it. If you give him an ultimatum you may get answer ... (read in full...)
I have to work off my room and board with my girlfriend!
Q. Ok, I'm a 26 year old male. I absolutely despise my girlfriend though....and I live with her in a house she is paying-off. I constantly have to adhere by her strict rules. I mean just because it's her house and she lets me live there that I hav...
A. 3 November 2005: She's pay the bills who are you, Freddie the Freeloader? If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen. ... (read in full...)
| *yeswideopen's friends
These are mutual friends, so *yeswideopen has
added them and they have added *yeswideopen!
|
