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female
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*iluckygirl818
writes: Well, my ex dumped me for my best friend and she wanted my "approval" before they could go out. Being the nice person that I am, I said it was fine and that I didn't mind but, boy did I lie. Every time I see them together it hurts more and more and I realized that I was still in love with my ex. My friend and him have been fighting a lot lately and they're always on the verge of breaking up. No one knows how I feel for my ex. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2005): Why are you putting yourself on a 'waiting list' for this guy, hun? He made it clear that his interests was elsewhere-when he dumped you for your friend. In this life there are some things we all have to understand-we don't forgo our self-respect to go after something, we really don't need. The one thing you need to learn is to read the information that was given to you by this guy. He did not value you, nor did he treat you with respect, when he dumped you for your friend. What's to say he won't do it again? Instead of trying to meet your own needs (I like him, I want him! I'll wait!) listen and learn to adjust to reality. Young women who are smart & reality-based in their lives, learn to pick out perspective bf's based on the guy’s character. And this guy is a jerk! Do yourself a huge favor, and stop focusing on this guy and start living your life, having fun, making new friends. Sometimes we concentrate so hard on what we want and need, we lose sight of the "big picture" and we never allow room for someone else to touch our hearts. Choose to learn clarity in your life, dear. So many girls have chosen to hear and see what they wanted instead of what was real in dating relationships and they just end up suffering. So be strong...and forget this ass-he's already shown you what he's capable of and that's being hurtful and irresponsible with the hearts of others. Learn to surround yourself with wonderful, sincere, good friends and live life to the fullest. Have fun and good luck
Hugs,
Irish
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (5 November 2005):
 Wait.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2005): First of all, I feel the need to say that as your best friend, she should not have even asked you if it was okay, knowing that it's hard to be the one to say "no, this is not okay." You should tell your friend that it bothers you. You don't have to say that it did from the start, just that you thought you would be okay, but it hurts too much. If you don't, you're risking the friendship. I know I would try to avoid my friend at all costs, and I would always have this resentment towards her for not noticing I was upset. If your ex and your friend are fighting, then maybe it's not meant to be anyway. You don't want to wait until they are even further in the relationship to express how you feel. Good luck chica!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2005): Move on sweetheart. If you were meant to be with himm you would be. I take it that you either are still in highschool or just got out of highschool. Things like these are so unimportant. Trust me I know it hurts but you can't make someone want to be with you, and if you try you are just setting yourself up for a broken heart. Move on! I also do not think this friend of yours is a very good friend if she would do that to you. You should also consider replacing her. If she would do that then I can also gaurantee that she will probably do the same thing if she is around and you are getting a divorce. She will probably marry your ex-husband. Find out who you are. Experience life all thatget one. If you need anymore help feel free to contact me at [email address blocked]. Trust me I have been though a lot of heartace and issues in my life. I know how bad it hurts. It happened to me. Don't stress yourself out. IT'S NOT WORTH IT.
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A
female
reader, beenthere +, writes (5 November 2005):
tell your friend how you feel. there are 2 ways to look at this. 1. friends are always there for you, boyfriends will come and go. if she cares for you she'll not be with him BUT the second is: if you care for your friend, you'll want her to be happy.
if she believes in number 2 then try to be happy for her.
it is a difficult situation to be in. i hope i've helped. good luck.
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