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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have a serious problem and I need a non judgemental answer. I found that my boyfriend of 2 years has been downloading porn with females having sex with horses. I approached him about it and he was defensive, I feel this is wrong and told him so. I feel I can't trust him now as he kept this from me. I am always open to normal porn. Is this something men are interested if they are honest? Does this mean he has a problem and how do I tackle this with him? We haven't spoken in 2 days and I don't know how to accept this. Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005): if it becomes a serious problem (like he won't talk to you about it at all, or he continues not talking about anything at all, and/or it's getting in the way of your relationship: seek therapy or dump him.
he probably got defensive because he's ashamed. i'm a furr (different from a bestial) and i sure as hell don't want to share that with just anyone. undoubtably, people are ashamed of things that other people reject. try talking to him kindly about it, and when you tell him that you think it's wrong, try to say it as if he were saying something like that to you. people can't help be turned on how they're turned on, but maybe there's a compromise you two can make that will keep both of you ok, if not happy.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2005): I think you are looking for context right, not answers? well context is your answer. I think that for a man it is not the animals that is the turn on but the severe degrading of women....that is the turn on. I also think it is a transcendence from normal porn....like ganja to heroin...
the question though is how bad is this. well it must be quite common if there are websites that cater for this stuff. so your man is not a complete freak. i think talk to him about it and let him know it is a bit wierd and porn is ok but animals are not.
i don't think the panto costume is a good idea.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2005): Dear Female Reader,
I think you have to keep a sense of humour about this!
There is a story about Catherine the Great's death. That she was crushed to death by a stallion that was being lowered onto her. (A chain in the harness broke). The story is a myth.
Given the dimensions of the average stallions penis, I suspect that porn of this type is fake, and no consenting or unconsenting animal has ever been explioted.
You should talk to him about it. Maybe accomadate his fantasies, join in, dress up for him. pantomime horse costume springs to mind, make naying noises during intercourse.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (5 November 2005):
 I don't see this as a huge problem as long as you don't live on a farm. I'd keep a close eye on the guy though. Of course you can always just dump him and walk away.
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A
female
reader, beenthere +, writes (4 November 2005):
that is really disgusting. no form of porn is normal or natural but some people see love and sex as two different things whereas sex is a way for two people to show their love for each other. i'm not religious or old fashioned, i've had one night stands and loveless sex but it's not fulfilling. Bestiality, however, is, i think, illegal. well, the animals can't give their consent can they. it's completely unnatural. talk to him again until you get answers. i have cried for hours because of my partners problem with normel porn. i can't imagine how you feel. tell him it's illegal. if he is turned on by it, he has a problem and may need to seek medical help and counselling. tell him you'll support him through it. any addiction is hard to tackle alone
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