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female
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anonymous
writes: I have lots of problems, but one is whether I should stay with my boyfriend or not?We've been together for just over a year, but two months ago i finished with him and after three weeks, we decided to give it another try.He's very jealous and possessive, which is what finished us before, only now the jealousy seems to annoy me even more than before and i'm beginning to realise that i may have made a huge mistake!!He was heartbroken when i ended the relationship and i've been basically threatened by his family and friends not to break his heart again, so i feel very trapped.It's his birthday soon and with christmas approaching, do i hang on until the new year before making a decision or should i just cut loose now?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (8 November 2005):
 I concur with the other aunts. If you know it's over, cut the ties now; it's not exactly like you're leaving him hanging on Christmas Eve. There are weeks left before then.
Be kind, but have resolve when you break up. His reaction is up to him, and as long as you're truthful and compassionate, then you can't be held responsible for how he feels afterward. Of course, he'll be hurt about it - that's natural - but it's always better to be honest about how you feel, than to pretend to still love him when you don't.
The alternative is to stay with a guy you no longer care for, with whom you have "problems", and that doesn't sound wise or enjoyable, for either of you.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (8 November 2005):
 Why wait until the new year when you've made your decision already? Break it off but be firm about this time. He'll get over you in time and you'll be free to find someone new.
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A
female
reader, beenthere +, writes (8 November 2005):
finish now. don't be put off by other people. no one should expect you to stay in a relationship if you're not happy. tell him you're sorry but it's just not working. maybe you could see if he still wants to be friends. get him something for his birthday. he'll know you still care but make it clear to him that you can not cope with his possessiveness and jealousy
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