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female
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anonymous
writes: I've known some family friends for a number of years and have always got on really well with the dad. Recently he told me he loved me, and I think I feel the same about him. We kissed and got quite physical. We get on so well, and always have done. He makes me so happy when I am around him, is so kind and caring towards me, and when I'm not with him I feel like such a huge part of me is missing.There is a big age gap between the both of us, and he is also married with children. I know I shouldnt feel like this because he is married but I love him and can't help my feelings. Please help me, I am going insane over this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): Hi there, I know exactly how you feel! I have been seeing a man who has a wife and child, he will leave her but there is also another woman and I have said that its time to choose, an I didnt speak to him, answer any calls etc, and he told me that Im the only one he wants and he never wants to loose me, now everything is starting to go into affect, he is sarting to have second thoughts about the other woman, so I have no idea what i should do either, its so difficult, I love him more than anything in this world, there is also a 24 yr age gap...if he wont leave his wife for you I dont think he truely loves you...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): Hi,
I am going through something similar and know exactly what you mean.
I have an amazing connection mentally, physically, passion and incredible bond with a man who has a partner and a young child with (if it wasn't for the chidl he wouldn't be with her he told me), who he doesn't have what we have with. I love him and feel tied up inside and empty...Even hiding it, denying it is lying to yourself and feel like something is missing no matter what or if i put it the back of my head...
I love him and adore him, he's older than me by 25 years but our age difference is special for us (even sexy) and we're very passionate, caringa nd talk for ages with each other and life is once only.
It's horrible not loving the man who consumes you and you have it all with - some never have that!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): Its hard. Your looking for a man a real man and for now he's the one. but what happens when he leaves and hes all yours are you ready! I wasnt..... At All I felf pressured big time and that pushed me away.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2006): go for it!!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2005): Don't get yourself involved in something like this it's wrong if he's married with children it will only cause more problems this man has no respect for his family and if he can do that to them he could do that to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2005): Hun, married men, who pursue young girls, are not after love, they are after conquests. They may be successful or have good positions but they are in some ways insecure. They are out to prove they are still attractive and there is no better way to do that than to win the adoration of gullible, unsuspecting young girl/women. Let's just theorize for a minute. If this guy is ready to divorce his wife for you, then he was unfaithful and insincere to his wife. How will you ever trust such a man? What guarantee is there that he will not ditch you, someday, when he gets somebody younger and more attractive, in the future? What if, in spite of your precautions and care, people come to know about the affair? What kind of impact will it have on your life? What kind of impact will it have on your relationship with your friends? What will your parents say if they come to know of this? What will be the reaction of his wife and children? What if the precautions that you take fail and you end up with an unwanted pregnancy? What about the scars on your conscience? Are you sure that this is what you wanted in your life? What if in the middle of this relationship you come across a person who would make a good life-partner for you? How do you explain this to them? Search your conscience and find out whether you really want to end up breaking up a marriage, a home, and leaving his children victims of a broken marriage. Is it worth the trouble and the heartache, hun? Just give a quiet burial to your infatuation for the man, and start your life anew. Good luck, dear and be smart...make brave choices.
Hugs,
Irish
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A
female
reader, Holy Woman +, writes (8 November 2005):
Things are kinda difficult in this type of situation. I sense that there is a strong attraction between the two of you. But even though you are attracted to someone does not mean that is an open door for further relations.
Being in a marital affair is not something that you want to get caught up in. And I speak from experience. I was involved with a married man for five years and it ended about 5 years ago. I was left with nothing but a broken heart, confused mind and hurt. That sounds pretty harsh but it is the truth. If you ask 10 women who have been in your shoes and have now ended this type of relationship (because they all come to an end)all 10 will say don't do it for one reason or another.
I am glad that you wrote the forum but my advice is if you haven't already started one, DONT! In the end you will be the only one hurt, not him but YOU!
Love yourself enough to say, I love myself to much for that.
Take care and God bless
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A
male
reader, Ellis Mac +, writes (7 November 2005):
Don't stress, you'll only make yourself ill, and cloud your judgements.
To understand your situation, you must begin to understand your relationship with your father. Here lie all the keyes to you understanding your attraction to this father figure. When you realise that it is linked to how you feel about your father, you will begin to look at this man in a different light.
Chin up, it's not the end of the world.
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A
female
reader, cowlick28 +, writes (7 November 2005):
You haven't given your age or his, but i'm guessing that it's probably a gap of around 15-20 years?? It's very difficult to give advice, so i'm going to try and be as empathetic as i can......
As you have obviously spent a great deal of time with his wife and family, i think it is going to be nearly impossible for you to have an "uncomplicated" relationship with this man. If he were to leave his wife, you would be under scrutiny from your friends and family as "the other woman", and his children may take a little getting used to the fact that a woman they know, is now their fathers girlfriend. Then of course, if he doesn't leave her, you are going to be his "bit on the side" which is not going to be good for anyone.
I've tried to put myself in your position and difficult as it may be, i really think you should end this relationship a.s.a.p. especially while your feelings are still fresh and you should hopefully have a better chance of getting over it without too much heartache.
I know it's a cliche, but there are plenty more "fish" and certainly plenty who aren't married and don't have children and ones that will be able to give themselves to you completely.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2005): Sometimes love isn't a good thing - it can be destructive, and it sounds like yours is. You need to get away from him. If it feels like a huge part of you is missing when you're not around him, you're likely to have a hard time *choosing* not to be around him. Which means, you need to take some steps to *force* yourself not to be around him. Move away for a while, if you have to. It sounds like you're young, and a study abroad program, or a several-months trip is always a great idea when you're young. All the more so when there's something at home that you need to distance yourself from. It will be really hard at first, but after a while, you will find that the part of you that seems to be missing doesn't seem to be quite so important, until one day, you'll realize that you've filled it in with something else.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (7 November 2005):
 "Kissed and got quite physical"...well Hello Lolita! You need alittle reality adjustment, Babycakes. He's a low-life if he's goofing around behind his wife's back - YOU DON'T NEED TO BE PART OF THAT. He's just using you to get his kicks - YOU DON'T NEED TO BE PART OF THAT. If his wife finds out she will be broken-hearted - YOU DON'T NEED TO BE PART OF THAT. When their marriage falls apart and his children are crushed - YOU DON'T NEED TO BE PART OF THAT. Do not have anything more to do with this creep. Never let yourself be alone with him in the future. You must try to act like a responsible adult it's obvious that he can't. Guys like that should be taken out and shot.
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