A
female
,
*luvandconfused
writes: Hi I need some advice. I have been married for 3 years, and an ex-boyfriend came into the picture that I still care about. I want to be with him but I can't get a divorce for that. What do I do?
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female
reader, missbunbury +, writes (11 November 2005):
What do you mean by "I can't get a divorce for that"? I suspect that what you're saying is that you don't feel it would be a good idea to get a divorce. You haven't said anything at all about how things are with your husband - are they good? I'll be blunt here; your question sounds to me like someone who is looking for some kind of encouragement to have an affair, and I'm sorry but I don't think you're going to get that here. Without knowing more about you, it's hard to say much about your specific problem, but let me give you some advice - an affair is never a good idea. If you really genuinely feel that you need to be with this ex, then you need to end your marriage before you even discuss it with him - anything else would be unfair to your husband, and if you've already embarked on the affair then you have some serious thinking to do.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 November 2005):
Not a blamed thing until you divorce your husband first. What part of "forsaking all others" don't you understand? If your marriage means so little to you then end it. Your husband comes before any old boyfriend. Have some honor and respect the vows you made.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2005): hello!!!!!!!? we are talking about your husband, not someone that you had a high school crush on!!!! stick with your husband u promised him you would be faithel to him!!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2005): Are you ready to terminte your 3 year marriage to your husband? If so, do that first. Then see the guy. If not, do a little growing up and realize that making a commitment of marriage carries with it the possibility that you may meet all kinds of people you are attracted to, including past boyfriends, and you owe it to your husband to simply deny yourself those pleasures. YOu can dream about whoever you want to when you masturbate, or even when you are making love to your husband, provided you don't start calling him by someone else's name. What is so wrong with your message that makes this even a thing to be of concern? Why not work on fixing the marriage, rather than starting something that may or may not evolve into a serious relationship like marriage?
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