My friends tease and call my bf gay! He hates it. I dislike it too...what should I do?
Q. ok so my boyfriend doesn't like to hear about my past cuz i wuz a little slut and had sex alot and he nos i don't want to hear about his past cuz he had sex a couple times but when ever my friends pick on him and say he gay he tells me to walk away ...
A. 27 May 2007: I rest my case...sigh... (read in full...)
I wonder if I was the victim of a very cruel deception at the hands of my ex?
Q. Can you guys give me your viewpoints on this? I wonder if I was the victim of a very cruel deception at the hands of my ex. We were very good friends for quite some time prior to becoming partners and I thought we would get married and have a ...
A. 24 May 2007: Typo, I DON"T think you owe him any explanation for ending the friendship.... (read in full...)
The other woman has his baby and wants my husband back! How do I deal with this?
Q. me and my husband have been together for a lil over a year and he has a baby by another woman and this other woman hates me and wants him back and during christmas she brought him over to see him but the whole time they were talking together and he ...
A. 24 May 2007: Well he may be telling you the truth. Since she is the mother of his child she is going to be in the picture forever. He married YOU however which is obviously why she has such a problem with you. Keep an eye on the situation when your husband ... (read in full...)
My in laws hate me and my husband doesn't stand up for me! Is this right?
Q. Hi - from the outset of my long (18 year) relationship with my husband (i have been married for 13) I have been relentlessly put down and bullied by my parents in law. This has ranged from making derogatory comments about my hair and my weight ( I ...
A. 24 May 2007: You need to ask yourself whether you are better off with or without him. That means emotionally, physically, and financially. If the answer is "without" then separate and start the divorce. You are the only one who can make this decision.... (read in full...)
How do I drop a hint to my married co-worker, that I really him?
Q. I work with a manager who is about 48 yrs old. I like him a lot for his maturity, confidence, and sincere pride in his job and life. I'm a 20 yr old girl, but feel like he is someone I could get along really well with. I don't know if he likes me ...
A. 24 May 2007: What are you nuts? Drop a hint? Sheesh....you are only 20 years old and you want to start your life off like this?... (read in full...)
He has a new gf and can't see me as friends, anymore. What should I do?
Q. My best friend, who I went out with 7 years ago, for 2 years, and then have been friends with him for the last 5 years, is not talking to me. He has decided to not be friends with me since he has a girlfriend. I am in love with him, and want him ...
A. 24 May 2007: Maybe you are just a little bit jealous of his new girlfriend and that's what is making him suddenly look so good to you? Well it really doesn't matter at this point since he does have a new girlfriend and apparently is quite happy with her. Get ... (read in full...)
I wonder if I was the victim of a very cruel deception at the hands of my ex?
Q. Can you guys give me your viewpoints on this? I wonder if I was the victim of a very cruel deception at the hands of my ex. We were very good friends for quite some time prior to becoming partners and I thought we would get married and have a ...
A. 24 May 2007: I wouldn't say victim exactly but he certainly sounds like an insensitive jerk. Who needs friends like that? You do owe him an explanation as to why you don't want to be friends any longer. Chalk this one down to experience and move on with your ... (read in full...)
I left my husband a year ago because I knew I no longer loved him the way a wife should... but I'm worried he'll talk me into staying
Q. I left my husband a year ago because I knew I no longer loved him the way a wife should. We had grown apart, and I felt no physical attraction for him anymore. But I didn't rush into divorce either because my husband insisted that I wait, hoping ...
A. 24 May 2007: Start the divorce proceedings. You are going to cause him more pain the longer you wait. Band-aids are best pulled off in one swift motion rather than a slow tug. Get it over with so you both can move on with your lives. Good luck dear.... (read in full...)
Awkward situation between friends..any advice?
Q. Hi..I had posted a question a few weeks ago.. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-vist-with-this-friend-went-badly-she.html I need some more advice now because my friend (i.e. her bf) has told her about the things that annoyed me and when ...
A. 24 May 2007: I'm sorry I misunderstood which friendship you were upset about. I doesn't really sound like your guy friend is upset he said it was no big deal so what are you worried about? I know he went and blabbed to his girlfriend but now you know he'll ... (read in full...)
What does he mean by... "I'm only happy when you're happy" - given that he never asks me if I'm happy?!
Q. My husband of 7 years tells me he's happy when I'm happy. He will never ask me if I'm happy???, He will only mention "I'm Happy When Your Happy honey" or "As Long As Your Happy, That Makes Me Happy" whenever I get excited about something like a new ...
A. 23 May 2007: I know you are looking for a male's perpective on this but I know when my husband says this it's for the same reason that Suzie's does. He thinks it a catch all phrase that will get him off the hook and make me happy at the same time. Of course he ... (read in full...)
I love him but fear I'm way too young for him. Isn't it better to let someone go if you know your not good for them?
Q. hes 9 years loder than me and im just holding him back. Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 months nearly and wev had more than our share of problems. hes 25 and im nearly 17 and obviously thats been a problem for alot of people. but only recently ive ...
A. 23 May 2007: Let him go, if he comes back you'll know. But I truly hope that he just steps back and lets you enjoy the rest of your teenage years with people your own age. Lots of time in the future for commitments even at the age of 25.... (read in full...)
We love each other but he needs to put a stop to the wedding to this other gal. How do we do that?
Q. have been in relationship with a gentleman but he is in a relationshp with a woman and he intended to marry her and gone to see his parent and because of me he want to stop the relationship and marriage between them, please we want to know how to ...
A. 23 May 2007: Thank goodness this happened before he got married! He just needs to tell the truth, that he no longer wants to marry her. I'm not sure what the customs are in Ghana but I'm sure no one would expect him to follow through with the marriage if he ... (read in full...)
Am I allowed to love someone while knowing he's not the one?
Q. Am I allowed to love someone while knowing he's not the one? How do I tell him that--I don't want to lead him on and have him plan our futures together, but he's a very all-or-nothing guy, and I don't want this to be the end--I'd still like to be ...
A. 23 May 2007: In other words you want to hang on to him until you find someone better. That's not very nice. Cut him loose so he can find his own true love. It's the ethical thing to do.... (read in full...)
My friend fears she is addicted to internet porn! What strategies can she employ to stop herself when she gets the urge to view internet porn?
Q. My friend is worried that she is becoming addicted to masturbation/internet porn. She believes in only sleeping with men she loves which has been torturous for her at times since she has a very high sex drive so when there was no man she would ...
A. 23 May 2007: She could get rid of her computer, put it in storage somewhere. She could find a new hobby that she is interested in. Just stay busy busy busy. As long as she is getting counseling that is.... (read in full...)
My friends tease and call my bf gay! He hates it. I dislike it too...what should I do?
Q. ok so my boyfriend doesn't like to hear about my past cuz i wuz a little slut and had sex alot and he nos i don't want to hear about his past cuz he had sex a couple times but when ever my friends pick on him and say he gay he tells me to walk away ...
A. 23 May 2007: See this is exactly why children shouldn't be even thinking about sex, gee whiz. Who needs this kind of crap in childhood let alone in the teenage years? A 10 year with a past! Why don't you just step down and enjoy your few remaining days of ... (read in full...)
We broke up. But I want her back..how long should I wait before contacting her?
Q. i was living with my first girlfriend for 2 years and i love her to death. We lived in a really small apartment though (couldn't afford more room), I felt it was becoming too strained and we should live apart. She broke up with me citing she had ...
A. 23 May 2007: If she has a new boyfriend then I guess everything is on the back burner. You could contact her just to say that if she and her new boyfriend don't work out then she should look you up. In the meantime stay busy looking for a new job and get on with ... (read in full...)
A discussion about having future kids, has caused a problem with us! How do we get beyond this?
Q. Hi there, I could do with some advice before I destroy the best thing thats ever happened to me. A month ago I met the most amazing guy and we just clicked, he lives about 90 miles away but when we see each other and talk we get on amazingly and ...
A. 23 May 2007: Just repeat your last sentence to him and that should alay his fears, if he has any. Good luck.... (read in full...)
Awkward situation between friends..any advice?
Q. Hi..I had posted a question a few weeks ago.. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-vist-with-this-friend-went-badly-she.html I need some more advice now because my friend (i.e. her bf) has told her about the things that annoyed me and when ...
A. 23 May 2007: I would simply apologise for discussing things behind her back. You obviously learned a very valuable lesson here so in a way it is a good thing. It will be up to her to forgive you, but one way or another at least you would have tried to set things ... (read in full...)
I am experiencing negative emotions about my married guy. Will this destroy what we have?
Q. I have a boyfriend. He's married man and i love him very much. The problem is i understand there's nothing he could do that would be like dating a normal single guy. but i cannot live without him and i believe he loves me too. We have been togeth...
A. 23 May 2007: Well since you are asking....Yes I think there is something fundamentally wrong with you. Yes you are shameless. Of course he is doing something wrong whether he lied about his status or not. And the fact that you are resenting the time he spends ... (read in full...)
I think hes taken call waiting off his phone and lied about it!!!
Q. Is this a little weird and suspicious? My b/f and i both have the same cell phone service provider. Regarding call waiting--you know when you call someone and there is a distinctive ring telling you the person is on the phone. Well for a few m...
A. 23 May 2007: If he has never cheated on you before then I think you are worried about nothing. Trust is very important.... (read in full...)
He is so possesive, accused me of cheating, and then went and cheated himself!!! Help!!
Q. Hi!Im a married woman with my bf for almost 6 years. When we were gf bf he cheated on me and it really hurts. since i love him so much i forgive him. He always telling me a bad words,he insist me that i cheated him where in fact i didnt. When we ...
A. 23 May 2007: You are absolutely in the right on this. People often accuse their partners of cheating when in fact it what they are thinking about doing. He doesn't sound like he is the slightest remorseful for his actions so it will happen over and over again. ... (read in full...)
He treats me good-I treat him like crap. Am I a bad gf?
Q. am i a bad girlfriend? My boy-friend of 2 1/2 years going on 3 is always so good to me, he treats me very good, he has gotten me so spoiled by given me anything i want but every day at school i will just keep on pushin, slappin, hitting him and i ...
A. 23 May 2007: I'll tell what I think, I think you are between 10 and 12 years old, too young to be a girlfriend period over and out. And that is exactly why you are being a lousy girlfriend. Enjoy that last few moments of your childhood before you start trying to ... (read in full...)
I've been together with him for 10 years but he still won't marry me. Why has he suddenly started sleeping in another room?
Q. after ten year with my children father and owning our home still I feel he is cheating because he sill won't marry me. He says its not me because I am a good person, what should I do. He has since recently started sleeping in another room what is ...
A. 21 May 2007: Ask him why he moved out of your bedroom. If marriage is that important to you then tell him, if he loves you he will want to make you happy. If he doesn't want to still then you have to decide whether you want him or you want a husband. You need to ... (read in full...)
He takes other people's suggestions but shoots mine down, even though they're the same and he critizises me to his children... What's up with my boyfriend?
Q. I seem to be getting very irritated with my BF of 1 year. I'm not sure why but everything seems to bother me. I realize things start out with both people on their best behavior and once things settle it's more real. There have been 2 occasions ...
A. 21 May 2007: Sounds like you either have to sit down and see if you both feel that the relationship is worth working on or it's time to pick up your toys and go home. Not all relationships are meant to be or worth the work.... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant? My mom is worried because I'm gaining weight.
Q. Well i just recently starting gaining weight and now my mom has me all worried that i might be pregnant but i have my period still its been about 1 week and a half but its very very light in my head im thinking that im not pregnant because i dont ...
A. 21 May 2007: I'm assuming that you know what causes pregnancy, right? At your age you certainly should. On your way to the library to get a book on human sexuality, stop by the drug store and pick up a home pregnancy test to alay your fears while you read your ... (read in full...)
I suspect he's living with his family. How do I get him to confess?
Q. I am in a relationship with this guy I met on the internet. He has a wife and three kids. He says he loves me and that we are soulmates!He has made so many promises and sent me some really nice things. I have never been this in love! He says he ...
A. 21 May 2007: How about YOU come clean. Dump the married guy, you can't possibly be THAT desperate. Jeese Louise, a wife and three kids, how can you live with yourself when you think of them?! Be a class act and go find a man you don't have to steal from his ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and my bf won't speak to me! I haven't told my parents - what do I do?
Q. Hey - I found out i was pregnant last week and just told my boyfriend 3 days ago. We've been going out for about a year now and I'm so scared he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. Ever since I told him, he hasn't contacted me once. I ...
A. 21 May 2007: Other than in a rape BOTH parties are responsible, equally. How could you not have noticed he wasn't using a condom? Well that's a moot point a this juncture. I checked out the site that stina recommended and it's excellent. Go there and read the ... (read in full...)
Suddenly he doesn't know what he's feeling anymore. How did that change?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for only a month. A problem has kicked off about our age difference (13-16) and his mum kicked off about me being to young. And now i found out he doesnt love me! Im so heartbroken but when i asked him is it ...
A. 21 May 2007: He can get into a lot of trouble dating someone your age. His mother is just looking out for her son's well-being. He probably is uncomfortable with the age differnece and I don't blame him, Jail is certainly not fun. Where are your parents?... (read in full...)
He says he will leave his wife for me, but I know it's not true, what can I do?
Q. Hi my names bebe and Im involved with a married man.He is my next door neighbour and Im very good friends with his wife.At first its was just a bit of fun but now we've fallen in love with each other.He keeps saying that hes going to leave his wife ...
A. 21 May 2007: Bebe have you written in about this neighbor recently? It sure sounds familiar. Anyway, first he isn't going to leave his wife and second he just using you, it's not love. What you need to do is step away and leave him alone. There is obviously ... (read in full...)
A question about a possible pregnancy...
Q. Hi thanks for for reading. i have a quick question about pregnancy. a friend of mine (18 yrs) had unprotected sex only a week and a half ago and she is experiencing nausea and lack of appetite. She said she hasnt eaten anything in 3 days. She says ...
A. 18 May 2007: It's way too early for any symptoms of pregnancy. She needs to go to the drug store and get a pregnancy test. Most women don't start getting any symptoms until around the third month. Tell your friend to be more careful in the future, babies deserve ... (read in full...)
Suddenly he's so busy with his job and doesn't want to talk about marriage. What's going on?
Q. my dilema is that my bf of a year now has a new job and it appears to be stressing him out and taking up all his time, not to mention he will be teaching as well during the summer months. when we first started dating he made so much effort to spend ...
A. 17 May 2007: My husband will on occasion run on and on about his work until I have to pinch myself to stay awake, but I let him run himself dry simply because he appears to need it. It doesn't happen every dang day however. And sometimes I do it to him. However ... (read in full...)
She slept with someone else just to get back at me. Am I correct to have doubts about getting back together with her?
Q. My girlfriend and I broke up (mutually agreed upon) for irreconcilable differences. No cheating on either part. However, after I moved out (having lived together for two and a half years), I tried to get through the split-up as best I could, after ...
A. 17 May 2007: I really really hate it when someone tries that "you made me do it" crap. People who don't stand accountable for their own actions and decisions should be avoided like the plague. I'd move on to greener pastures if I were you.... (read in full...)
I got drunk and said something nasty to my bf. I've apologized many times, but he is so stubborn. Should I just move on?
Q. I got drunk the other night and apparently said some things to my boyfriend (I don't remember) and feel terrible. After three days, he still would not return my phone calls. He finally broke up with me, stating "no one talks to me that way". I ...
A. 17 May 2007: Stick with your plan, the ball is in his court. If you got drunk to the point that you can't remember what you said then you had better lay off the sauce, that's a very bad sign. Everyone one makes mistakes it's the people who never learn from them ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend addicted to porn?
Q. my boyfriend of 3years has stopped any sexual contact with me what so ever and the second he gets to be alone he looks at porn on the computer well the 40inch hd tv computer screen that is (great)! he got his pc last september and weve had sex about ...
A. 17 May 2007: Yep he sure sounds addicted to me. When porn (or anything else one is addicted to) starts interfering with a person's normal lifestyle then they have a problem. You can talk to him about it but it really is all up to him to get help. If he's ... (read in full...)
His mom wants us to break up, what do we do?
Q. hi i know people say i shouldnt be having sex at this age or thinking about it but we all do. My bf and i have already talked about sex, that we are both not ready and both feel comfortable in the relationship we are in. But his mum wont beli...
A. 17 May 2007: How old is your boyfriend? If you are under 16 and he is 16 or older then his mother is just trying to protect her son from possible criminal charges. As a mother, I'd do the same. What does YOUR mother say?... (read in full...)
Is a condom enough or should it be combined with pills?
Q. Is using a condom enough whilst having sex or should I go on the pill too? ...
A. 17 May 2007: To be 100% safe you should go on the pill as well as using a condom. Condoms can break. But use both because condoms help protect against STD's and the pill doesn't.... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Video introduction to the site from Andrew, site founder!
Q. Message from Andrew, site founder: (let me know your comments!)...
A. 17 May 2007: Great job Andrew!... (read in full...)
Why do people seem to be bailing on relationships so quickly these days? I just want someone to grow old with!
Q. Why do people seem to be hopping in and out of relationships these days at an increasing level of frequency? I find it really depressing. I want to find someone to grow old with, but I feel silly thinking this since most people tend to think it is ...
A. 17 May 2007: It was just on the news the other day that the divorce rate in the US is at it's lowest since the 1980's which was the peak. Which surprised me because I know more people who have gotten at least one divorce than I do who have stayed in their first ... (read in full...)
Should I tell his wife he cheated on her?
Q. I was seeing a married man for 15 months. He is 46, 13 yrs my senior. Married 24 yrs, with 4 kids and 2 grandkids. I should say he was also my boss and sunday school teacher.After months of pushing him away he held on strong. Everyone knew except ...
A. 16 May 2007: Well now is the time to put it all behind you and move on. Stay busy and each day will get easier for you. Lesson learned.... (read in full...)
I want to go back to the man I cheated on, but he has a new woman now. How do I get him back?
Q. where do i start!! i cheated on my partner with a work colleague, which resulted in both us leaving our partners to be with each other, we now live together, for almost 17 months. i have always been in contact with my ex, but cant seem to let him ...
A. 16 May 2007: You can't be waffling back and forth, you have children to think about. How do you know your EX wants you back and is just settling for this other woman because he can't have you? If he told you that himself then you have to do some hard thinking. I ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my manic depressive mother?
Q. My mother plays dirty tricks every now and then to come close to me somehow. Like she would keep my things in a place i cannot find easily and would unnecessarily cause me to enter in to an argument with her, which gives her a sense of control over ...
A. 16 May 2007: Do you still live at home? Since you are old enough to be on your own then I would definitely move to my own place if you are still at home. I would not visit very often, if she asks why tell her exactly what you told us. Nobody has to put up with ... (read in full...)
Are the nudie pics on his phone really normal?
Q. is it normal for my boyfriend to masturbate watching tv, while i sleep beside him, is it normal for a man of 38 yrs old to have naked pictures of other women on his phone, is it normal for him to hide porn in our home. We are 3yrs together...
A. 16 May 2007: Normal yes but not necessarily acceptable. I'd tell my husband to lose the phone pictures and to masterbate in private. The fact that he feels that he has to hide the porn says it all. CALMLY tell him how you feel, he should respect your wishes on ... (read in full...)
His Mother found out my age and told her son to dump me! What can I do?
Q. hi, ive got a big problem with my bf. Me and my bf have 3 years difference (i am 13 he is 16) we have already talked about sex and made sure we have eachothers trust neither of us are going to take advantage. But his mum has found out my age and h...
A. 16 May 2007: His mother is just doing her job. If this romance is meant to be then he can look you up in a few years. Where is your mother?... (read in full...)
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