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female
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anonymous
writes:Hi..I had posted a question a few weeks ago..http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-vist-with-this-friend-went-badly-she.htmlI need some more advice now because my friend (i.e. her bf) has told her about the things that annoyed me and when we spoke briefly once she said that I might have misunderstood some things she said to me and that she didn't mean them the way I thought. I was a little taken aback and felt very awkward and said there was nothing to worry about, but now she left me n offline message asking me why I didn't tell her that my parents did not like her. I got very, very upset with my friend for putting me in such a situation and he started telling me to not take everythign so seriously and to keep my emotions in control and things like that. I felt he totally diregarded my feelings and went ahead and told her about everythign without at least warning me.He does not see eye-to-eye with me on this and it's understandable because, after all, she is his gf and he has recently told her that they're gonna get married in the next 2 years. The thing is I don't know how to salvage the situation. I should not have said anythign to him in the first place, but that's done now and it's a lesson for me, but what must I do now? A friend suggested I email her telling her everything, but I'd rather not put ANYthing in writing to be used against me in the future and talking to her will be extremely, extremely awkward now. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHAHHAHAHAHAA..anon! that was reallly funny..! it woulda been helpful had we all been in the same country..unfortunately, we're not..and things haven't gone well. but thanks so much for trying to help..! :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2007): Give her a note and at the bottom write this note will blow up in 19 seconds and then nothing will be in writing, or you could text her and then say you need to borrow her phone later, drop it or destroy it and then apologize profusely and that you'll buy her another one or you could delete it when you borrow her phone, but I like the other one better and I'm not very helpful am I?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 I'm sorry I misunderstood which friendship you were upset about. I doesn't really sound like your guy friend is upset he said it was no big deal so what are you worried about? I know he went and blabbed to his girlfriend but now you know he'll probably tell her anything you say in the future so you are forewarned. I guess there really isn't a problem here. Sorry again for the misunderstanding.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for your response, but I'm not so sure I agree:*She* needs to forgive me??? The only thing I did wrong was talk to one of my best friends about it who happens to be her boyfriend. She treated me like crap, treated my parents in an inconsiderate manner. I don't care much for her anymore since she tried to belittle me but I still do care about my friend. I could explain myself to her, for the sake of his friendship, but there is no way I can see why I should apologise. Unless it's for putting up with her crap, in which case, I would agree and profusely apologise. I cannot say sorry when I don't see where my fault lies and when I see it I take responsibility for my words and actions. I'd like for someone to tell me how my friendship with him can be saved. Is a false apology really the answer?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (23 May 2007):
I would simply apologise for discussing things behind her back. You obviously learned a very valuable lesson here so in a way it is a good thing. It will be up to her to forgive you, but one way or another at least you would have tried to set things straight. Good luck.
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