A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my dilema is that my bf of a year now has a new job and it appears to be stressing him out and taking up all his time, not to mention he will be teaching as well during the summer months. when we first started dating he made so much effort to spend time together and wanted to move in and get married but now that he is so busy, it's just all about his job and everything else takes a back burner. He no longer talks about marrying and moving in (unless I bring it up and even then it's become vague) and he's so stressed out at the end of the day, all he can talk about is his work. I get frustrated easy with him now and he made the comment that he's too busy to have to worry about me being upset that he works so late. He doesn't call or write and when he works later he doesn't seem to call just to let me know he'll be late. I also notice when I try calling him after I haven't heard from him, he rarely pick up my call and will just call back and say he was busy.Am I being selfish? I feel like I'm just another problem for him to worry about now. Or is it that he's so comfortable in our relationship now that he just thinks its okay and I can wait. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 May 2007):
 My husband will on occasion run on and on about his work until I have to pinch myself to stay awake, but I let him run himself dry simply because he appears to need it. It doesn't happen every dang day however. And sometimes I do it to him. However what worries me about your particular situation is that back burner thing and not having the courtesy to let you know when he's working late. Does he indicate that this is just a temporary situation or do you get the feeling that this is going to be the norm? Sitting on the back burner can be tolerated for awhile if necessary but it'll burn you in the butt if you have to stay there. You both need to have a chat and find out if both of your visions for the future are compatible. I hope they are but if not I wouldn't hesitate to move on, workaholics are a pain.
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