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His Mother found out my age and told her son to dump me! What can I do?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 May 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2007)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hi,

ive got a big problem with my bf. Me and my bf have 3 years difference (i am 13 he is 16) we have already talked about sex and made sure we have eachothers trust neither of us are going to take advantage. But his mum has found out my age and has said you must dump her. He was so upset he started crying. I dont know what to do and i am so afraid of losing him !! Please help me!

thank you

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (16 May 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntHis mother is just doing her job. If this romance is meant to be then he can look you up in a few years. Where is your mother?

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (16 May 2007):

DrPsych agony auntAlthough upsetting for you both, his mother is a wise owl trying to protect her son's best interests. She thinks legally it is a taboo matter and she is worried about you pair getting into something too serious too soon. In a couple of years he will be an adult able to make his own decisions and they may include you. In the meantime all you can do is to try to respect her wishes by not breaking the trust between parent and son. If you both decide to carry on dating then she ought to know about it even if she doesn't agree. You should save the sexual relationship until you are older as you could get him into bother with the law - you are technically unable to consent under 16.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (15 May 2007):

kenny agony auntI don't think his mother has got anything against you, so don't take it personal. Its purely you age, that you are only 13, and he is 16. I know that initially 3 years is no age gap atal, like say you were 17 and he was 20. But 13 and 16 his mum is forseeing a potential problem and is looking out for her sons welfare. Because if something werer to happen between the pair of you sexually he could get into alot of trouble.

Good luck x

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2007):

cd206 agony auntOkay, this is why I think his mum is upset about the two of you dating. He's scared that you're going to have sex, which at your age is illegal and possibly also scared that you're going to end up pregnant. Your boyfriend needs to talk to his mum and tell her what you've decided about sex so that she knows you're being mature about things. If that doesn't sort out the problem then he needs to find out why she's so against you two dating and then argue the case in a calm andf mature way. Maybe he is embarassed talking about sex with his mum but that's a sign that she's right and that he's not mature enough for your relationship so make him see how important it is to at least try and convince his mum that you deserve the chance to be together.

CD

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