A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:where do i start!! i cheated on my partner with a work colleague, which resulted in both us leaving our partners to be with each other, we now live together, for almost 17 months. i have always been in contact with my ex, but cant seem to let him go!! he can be such a pain, but i know he would still do anything for me, and wants me back, i tried to go back one time but, with having kids having to change schools, and other things i could not do it, but i have recently found out that he has moved the woman he is seeing into the house he bought for us, when i was going to go back to him, i feel so lost i love the man i am with the now hes so gorgeous, and loves me to bits but its not the same as i had with my ex i miss my ex but only at times, i miss what he could give me and the kids, they call him dad, what do i do? please help me!!!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (16 May 2007):
 You can't be waffling back and forth, you have children to think about. How do you know your EX wants you back and is just settling for this other woman because he can't have you? If he told you that himself then you have to do some hard thinking. I wonder what made you decide to cheat on him to begin with, sounds like maybe you didn't love him all that much. Maybe you just are jealous of the new lady in his life and that's all it is. I don't think you are really concentrating and giving this a lot of thought and I mean thought not emotion. I mean no offense but you sound just a tad bit shallow when you refer to your current boyfriend's greatest asset being that he's "gorgeous" and a tad bit selfish when you mention repeated the the ex would do anything for you. Just think very hard before you act, lots of other people involved.
A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (16 May 2007):
 In your situation you have several Commitments:
You have your ex, current partner and the kids.
Probably you will always be in contact with your ex, because as far as I understand the kids are his children.
And that's the way it should be - children need Family.
You wrote: "we now live together, for almost 17 months".
What's wrong with your current partner - work colleague?
"the man i am with the now hes so gorgeous, and loves me"
Learn to live your life: it's complicated, but it's yours.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbut thats just it i know my ex has not moved on emotionally, he wants me back 24 7 , and sometimes i wonder what if??? my partners is gorgeous looking but, drives me nuts at times he is lazy about things,, i know its wrong to compare but my ex would do anything if needed done, and i am so jealous of his new partner, of which i know he is only with cuz he cant have me
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A
female
reader, elsie +, writes (16 May 2007):
 we all have an ex that we miss but thats is really all they are.honey it seems that these days good men are few and far between.you describe your fella as gorgeous?do you really want to sacrifice a man like this for someone who you descibe as a pain?if you were truly meant to be with each other you would have found a way round your problems and be with him now?youve both moved on but it will take time to truly get this man out of your system.the trickiest part i think is the kids calling him dad.have they seen him recently?this will change because obviously they will adjust too.
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