A
female
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anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has slept with over 100 women in the last 10 years (which I think is really bad, but that's another issue!) Anyway, the other day I was asking him questions about his past and he told me that probably about 90 of these were uprotected.He has got a disease from all this which I've known about since we met and although it is relatively minor, it is incurable. What I'd really like to know is what are the chances of him having any children out there? It would just kill me if one turned up out of the blue after we were married, as we haven't even got any of our own yet.What do you think are the chances of him having kids somewhere and of them turning up? I know this may sound silly and trivial but it's really got me thinking. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mystify +, writes (24 January 2006):
 there could be a chance of there being children, if they turn up (or rather the mothers do) then it could be that they will ask him to be involved or it could be they want help paying for the childs upbringing, there are plenty of broken relationships and people with children from there past relationships and they get by just the same , the only major problem i can see is if there is loads and your fella ends up paying out loads of money but the chances of this are all very slim as i really do think that if there is a child and the mother wanted your gu y involved financially or emationally you would of heard something by now, i decided to keep my babys bialogical father out of our lives as i wanted to find a father that loved him totally and we could all be a proper family and i dont have to say goodbye to my child every weekend and all the money in the world wouldnt make me change my mind
A
female
reader, wishes +, writes (24 January 2006):
 I wouldnt worry about it too much. The women that he slept with he didnt love. If a child from one of those one night stands turns up, he will have a responsibility to this child but you wont have to feel like the mother of the child and your partner have something that you dont, as they never shared love. Just concentrate on your relationship and future together, and stop concerning yourself with what "could" happen. Best wishesx
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (23 January 2006):
 Hi sweetie
Please dont live your life with a *what-if* hanging over your head. If you love him then you may have to accept this as somthing that may ahppen in the future, but the chances are slim. Anyway this is something you cannot do anyhtin about isn't it? If it happens deal with it when it happens.....
Look, to me it sounds as if you have deeper issues about his past sexual beahviour and I think you may be using this as a smoke-screen to protect yourself. Please consider talking to a professional you can trust and go thru any deeper issues you may have surrounding this. I don't think this is just about a *love-child* turning up out of the blue in years to come.
I wish you every success in your future relationship and hope you can work thru your worries.
Good Luck x
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (23 January 2006):
 I'd say it would be entirely possible that a child could surface but I would expect any woman would try to contact the father as soon as she finds out she's pregnant so as to collect the child support she's due. So if your relationship is at least 9 months old he probably would know by now if he fathered a baby. However when people do not act responsibly and use proven contraceptives then besides STD's...they get kids. I'm afraid if his past isn't something you can get behind you then you have no other choice than to leave and look for someone else who hasn't been so active.
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