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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 16 years old and I already have a son called Nicholas. I recently found out I am three months pregnant. Yesterday I went for a scan and have found out that I am expecing twins - I'm together with the father but I know how he will react to this news. He will leave. Should I tell him and risk it? He reacted badly when I told him about Nicholas as I was only just 15 at the time - too young to be a Mum I know, but it was a mistake I had to deal with. I'm scared that if I tell him then Nicholas will lose his Dad. I don't know who else to turn to. I tried my best mate but he wasn't much help. Hope someone has ideas... thanks. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, Scouzer  +, writes (30 January 2006):
You should definatley tell him, he has a right to know. If he leaves then he's not someone you want in your life or your babie's. It'll be better if you tell him sooner though because he's more likley to leave if he hears it form someone else. Hope it goes well!
A
female
reader, alwaysbrokenhearted_20056 +, writes (29 January 2006):
 If he loves you he will stay with you. I went thru the same thing when i was 15. I was pregnant and afraid that the daddy would leave. Unfortuanlly for me...he did. He didnt love me like i thought he did. Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys, i know i have to tell him - i just dont want to. there were complications when Nicholas was born and the doctors thought i wouldnt be able to have any more kids (thats why he's so special to me.)
we almost lost him and me, so afterwards we werent as careful - another reason why i cant think about getting rid of them - this truly might be the last time (we were given a tiny tiny chance of having another child which relieved my boyfriend and we got slack with the contraception). thought i'd give an answer as to how i got into this situ AGAIN... this time as well as feeling shocked i feel blessed, they're kind of little miracles. thanks.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (25 January 2006):
 Tell him soon, so he has more time to digest this news before the birth.
He may well leave, but he may also reconsider and return. Remind him that he's his children's only Dad in the world. They need him, as much as they need you.
On a more prosaic note, your babies' father is legally required to support them anyway, regardless of whether he leaves or not, so get some legal advice about your local laws.
Also, when the twins are born, you're probably going to find that the stress levels between you and your boyfriend are going to go sky-high. Even adults with lots of experience raising children can have difficulty with multiples. Please check with your local government and find out what programs are available to support young adults raising their kids. Not just financially, but emotionally as well.
You strike me as a well-grounded and bright young woman, and I know you'll make the best decisions you can, but do remember that there are others out there who've done what you're having to do, and you can benefit by their experience, so check into all the programs you can. It's tough enough to support just yourself at age 16, not to mention raising your children, too.
Finally, please investigate more reliable contraception as soon as you can! Having children is a real strain on a woman's body, and you seem to be doing much more than your share, at the very time when you're still growing yourself. Being pregnant repeatedly and so young can really affect your long-term health.
Good luck, dear, and take care.
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female
reader, llqueen +, writes (25 January 2006):
Im sorry, but you have to tell him. The sooner - the better. The longer you wait, the more pissed off he is going to be that you hid it from him. If he leaves you, then he doesn't deserve you anyway. You didn't make the baby all by yourself.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (25 January 2006):
 Well you can't keep it a secret for very long so you'll have to tell him. Maybe his reaction will surprise you. Good luck!
PS I assume you know by now what causes this condition??!!!
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