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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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I'll tell you what I think then you tell me what YOU think!
Q. Well you know my other questions I asked. To add to that. My guy that only shaves once a week and gets the gray out of his goatee came home from work one day and stated he needed to dye it and shave. I didn't think much of it till he got up for work ...
A. 17 March 2007: I think you have excellent radar when it comes to your boyfriends behaviour. You seem to understand the situation from all different angles, including the fact that a 23 year old is probably totally uninterested in a 35 year old (most of them think ... (read in full...)
Do I keep my guilt to myself or do I confess all?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We have been going through a bit of as rocky patch and I was unsure whether I wanted to continue the relationship. Went out last week and got far too drunk and woke up the next morning in bed with a male ...
A. 16 March 2007: If you did tell him, you already know the consequences. You would break his heart and he would leave. If you told him, it would also be to absolve yourself of the guilt that you feel, you would be doing it at his expense and he would be the one ... (read in full...)
I want more commitment from him but he wants to stay as we are.
Q. I am 55 and been divorced for almost 10 years. 8 months ago I met the man I want to spend my life with. He is the same age. His wife died almost 5 years ago, and he has grown up children, as I have. We have become soul mates and really clicked from ...
A. 16 March 2007: Hi,
What is the rush? At this time of life, you are not in a hurry because you need to start a family, you are comfortable in your lifestyles, have enjoyed good health, careers and grown children. If he wants to wait, why are you pressing for ... (read in full...)
He still keeps in contact with his ex's parents and they've been in our house!!!! I am not comfortable with this at all!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months and we moved in together last month. He has been keeping contact with his ex's parents. (He was with her for 4 years). They want the two of them to get back together and since he and I have been ...
A. 16 March 2007: Hi,
Oh YES, you have every right to be mad. You have to put your foot down, this is so inappropriate. There is absolutely no reason to still be involved with these people. Does your boyfriend consider them parents? Does he have parents of his ... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time and energy giving my love to someone who will never return it the way I want?
Q. I have known "my boy" for 20+ years. We grew up together, our parents were friends, etc. I moved away for 13 years, and when I came back I fell for him, as he did for me. He is married and has three children, but only stays in the relationsh...
A. 16 March 2007: You have known this person for 20+ years and you are maximum 25, so your relationship has been throughout your childhood. You were also away for 13 years during that time. Although you have known him for all those years, you were not together or ... (read in full...)
I feel as if he is trying to control me! Am I blowing this out of all proportion or do I have a point?
Q. Hi, My mum introduced me to a guy which she thought is suitable for me. We went out for a week and then he flew off to a different country as he works there. In the week that we spent we had a really good time I found him to be really nice but it ...
A. 15 March 2007: If he is this controlling now - what is he going to be like when you marry? I think that he has the potential to become abusive, control and isolation are usually the first steps. He needs to control how you feel about yourself too, so that is why ... (read in full...)
What is it that turns some guys on by coming or ejaculating on a girls face, breast, stomach etc?
Q. What is it that turns some guys on by coming or ejaculating on a girls face, breast, stomach etc? ...
A. 15 March 2007: Oh Honey,
I wish I knew the answer too! I suspect that porn is purely to masterbate to and that therefore seeing the actual results is stimulating. But then, that would also be gay so not stimulating to the straight guy! This must be a conu... (read in full...)
I am emailing an ex and I truly feel like a woman again!
Q. Hi dear lisener, I am 40 years old have two grown up daughters and a lovely husband who has never let me go without anything... He has suffered now for about five years in the bedroom if you get my drift, I have always been patient and feel really ...
A. 15 March 2007: Of all the books I bought on menopause, the only book that I actually read cover to cover was Gail Sheehey's "The Male Menopause". I was so glad that I did. Although we have a thousand roles to play as wives, mothers, career-women, daughters and ... (read in full...)
I have two guy friends that like me, the Prom is next month and I'm confused.
Q. I have this problem. I think two of my friends like me. One I have known for most of my life, but I only think of him as a friend. He likes teasing me, but in a funny way. The other guy I have only known for three years. Last semester he went to a ...
A. 14 March 2007: Go with the boy that you makes you laugh and that you are more comfortable with. You will have more fun at the Prom. Enjoy!... (read in full...)
Our son died, and he asked his ex to get back with him!! Its a year on and I cant get past it!!!
Q. Hi, I got together with my boyfriend about a year and 4 months ago. We met through family. When I met him I thought he was the perfect person I had ever met. I knew it was my time to be happy. Since my ex boyfriend 4 years earlier treated ...
A. 14 March 2007: Hi Sweetheart,
I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your son. You have been through so much trauma over the past couple of years, I am sorry that you are in so much pain. It is very hard to lose a baby and hard to lose all the hopes and drea... (read in full...)
After 3 years of being with my bf-I suddenly have become afraid of sex! What is wrong with me?
Q. This is going to sound stupid but here goes.. I'm 21 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We love eachother so much :) He's the first person I slept with and at first it was great, I loved it. But all of a sudden I've become scared of it.. ...
A. 14 March 2007: Hi Sweetie,
He sounds like a really great boyfriend - really supportive! I am just going to ditto what the last two Aunties said - Are you sure that there hasn't been some previous truama? Maybe a councellor could shed some light on this. The ... (read in full...)
What do you think, is this guy in it just for a quick thrill or is he genuine?
Q. Hi...I met a guy recently and he asked me out for dinner. We went out, had a great time, great conversation, he paid for the bill and he walked me to my car; he gave me a kiss on each cheek and told me he'd call me. He texted me the following day to ...
A. 14 March 2007: I suppose that he wouldn't be a normal guy if he didn't try something, the timing has obviously put a damper on things for you, though. I think most guys try heading in that direction on the second or third date, so it's up to you to define what ... (read in full...)
My bf and I want to have sex...but not sure if I want to give up my virginity! Help?
Q. I am almost 16 and i have to make a huge decison. My boyfreind wants to have sex. He keeps reminding me that he doesnt want to force me into anything and we must both feel comfortable and want to do it. he said he has protection and everything. I ...
A. 14 March 2007: You sound really worried and scared. I think under those conditions, you are not ready or comfortable enough to have sex quite yet. You really need to be sure that you understand safe sex and back-up contraception before you have sex the first ... (read in full...)
My bf is going to marry the girl he got pregnant. I'm hurt..advice needed!
Q. hi I was in a three year relationship with my boyfriend and he got another female pregnant the girl knew we were together but she didnt care and they went on with this now i think he is going to marry her this is heartbreaking for me because i was ...
A. 14 March 2007: He cheated on you, he doesn't care about practicing safe sex, he can't hold a job... I know it hurts and you feel betrayed but, honestly, wouldn't you be better off giving all that support and love to a stand up kind of guy instead? You deserve so ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to think he was a player or just looking for a booty call?
Q. Dear Cupid, Call vs. not to call. Need a bit more help on my situation. I also need a guy’s opinion as well. Last I wrote, I had met a guy who worked as a stripper. I had given him my #. He started to text me, asking me out. However, when he...
A. 14 March 2007: Do you really want to have a boyfriend who works at a bar stripping? Isn't that suspect enough? Try this technique if you are not sure if this is okay - "Mommy, Where did you and Daddy meet? Was it love at first sight?" If you aren't comfortable ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to tell my boyfriend that I don't think it's right him accepting phone numbers of other women?
Q. Is it wrong for me to tell my boyfriend that I don't think it's right him accepting phone numbers of other women? I have found a couple phone numbers and I wasn't too happy about it. I don't think it's appropriate that he accepts these since he is ...
A. 14 March 2007: I have a 25 year old son who is really great looking and gets hit on constantly. It is a real problem for his girlfriends. One very smart one used to laugh and walk away when it happened. She was forcing him to confront the situation and give her ... (read in full...)
Are fantasies of being with Another Person OK when you're making love?
Q. Can someone give me some feedback on what you think about sexual fantasies; I mean from the point of view of a man or a woman thinking of someone else in order to get turned on when making love to their partner? Do you think this is okay? Do you re...
A. 13 March 2007: It's Okay, it's Normal and EVERYBODY else does it from time to time. It's only a problem if you obsess over one fantasy constantly and it becomes a problem for you. It is not being disloyal unless you are having feelings for someone else ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of three years didn't throw out his nudey pics of his ex! What does this mean?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. He is divorced...he got burned pretty bad we're 27/25 years old... Anyway... He was going through some of his old junk and got rid of alot of stuff, EXCEPT for, I found this out today, some nude pic...
A. 13 March 2007: It's only a problem if he knows that he still has the photos and is hanging on to them, either to remember her or to blackmail or embarrass her at some future date - either way he would be hanging on to an old emotional connection and that would be ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being so obsessive and trust him more?
Q. dear cupid i really need some help . i have been living with my boyfreind almost a year . we have always had trust issues and ive always confronted him when i think something is going on . we used to live far apart and saw each other once a mon...
A. 13 March 2007: This is your issue and not this. Have you been cheated on before? Do you have issues about being rejected from your childhood? Parents split or Dad leave? Abandonment issues? Mom didn't love you? Jealously and mistrust stem from our own fears ... (read in full...)
I have pushed him away and now he wants a divorce. How can I get him to reconsider?
Q. I got married after month of knowing my husband and it was the second marriage for both of us, I took him for granted I was trying to make use of him, and push him to make my all old dreams come true, i treat him very bad, and some accident happend ...
A. 13 March 2007: He is very hurt that you wanted to run back to the father of your children (because of the relationship that you had together) after being so demanding of him during a stressful time. Because you married after only knowing each other for such a ... (read in full...)
I really like this guy and I can now afford to be a stay at home mum, the wedding has been booked but there's no "spark" for me. Should I go ahead with the wedding?
Q. I've dated a lot, but always seemed to encounter jerks who didn't treat me well or did not make me a priority. I pretty much had written off men, but tried this one last set-up date. He ended up being everything I had ever wanted--intelligent, cute, ...
A. 12 March 2007: Hi, I think my fellow Canadian hit the nail on the head. Maybe that "spark" you thought you had with the other guys was the thrill of chasing the "bad boy"? You may need to rethink and retrain yourself to be thrilled with what you have - cute, sm... (read in full...)
Help! My period is really late, could I be pregnant?
Q. Help! I had a normal period Febuary 1st thru the 6th of 2007. I should have gotten my period on the 3rd or 4th of March, 2007- No later! I am really late! Today is the 8th. I have taken two digital tests- both came out negitive and I have also ...
A. 8 March 2007: If your BMI is really low and you have very little fat on you, you can delay your period. Professional atheletes delay their periods and miss them because of this. There are lots of reasons for a late period. Mine changes when there are other ... (read in full...)
He wants me to send him naughty pics but I don't want to, I don't feel comfortable with it, what should I do?
Q. guys..my bf wants me 2 send him naughty pics. i trust him sooo much but i'm not ready 2 do that jus yet. its not that i feel uncomfortable cos of him.. i just think its kinda gross.but he has sent me stuff and is expecting me to send him. this...
A. 8 March 2007: There are lots of sex games to play between two consenting adults. You are NOT two consenting adults. You are too young to let this guy manipulate you into doing things that you are uncomfortable with. Do not do this to impress or please your ... (read in full...)
Is a ring on her finger, a new house and guilt, enough reason to ignore her true feelings for me?
Q. Thanks for your reply; but i have another query - I have asked this girl if she loves the man she is engaged to and she says "I care about him - i have feelings for him that won't just go away and while i have them i will not leave him." I ask her ...
A. 8 March 2007: I suspect that she may be having cold feet, like many people who are engaged and ready to take the plunge. Although she is not married, it would be better to back off and let her decide for herself than pursue this any further. Bride-to-be's can ... (read in full...)
My partner cheated on me and now I feel worthless, please help!
Q. help i am a gay man in a relationship i suffer from self esteem issues and recovering bulimic. my partner who i adore has just cheated on me i caught him with a friend of mine after a night out. he thought i was asleep but i wasnt and caught them ...
A. 8 March 2007: I'm sorry he treated you so badly, you sound like a real sweetie. Please get to your nearest friends or family now and get some love and support. You can't control what other people do, you can only control your own thoughts and actions. Don't ... (read in full...)
I like him and I know he likes me too but he keeps going on that his friend likes me but I want HIM! What do I do here?
Q. Their is this guy at school, I like him and I know that he likes me, he gives the impression that he likes me too. I ask him to meet up with me on weekends, and he does, he flirts but i dont know whether this is just friendly or something more. He ...
A. 8 March 2007: If he is flirting with you, I think he likes you and his "friend" is just an excuse to talk to you. Try this - Tell him your friend Samantha thinks He is cute - "My friend Samantha thinks you are hot" - "My friend Samantha thinks she likes you!"- ... (read in full...)
I have been with my husband for 7 years. Trouble is he does not appear to trust me. He also sulks over nothing. I am being pulled in all directions and I'm at breaking point!
Q. I have been with my husband for 7 years. Trouble is he does not appear to trust me. He also sulks over nothing. I have a high powered job and am on call 24/7 - I have a Blackberry and will often look at it in the evenings - not when we are doin...
A. 7 March 2007: Has he always been like this or is the behavior new? Sometimes the best defence is a good offence! Is he behaving oddly otherwise? Losing time, showering when he gets home, more business trips, new clothes or exercising more? If the behavior has ... (read in full...)
Can anybody help with baby names??
Q. I need some suggestions on baby names. I`m due at the end of the month and its a boy! I want something different but not CRAZY different! HELP!...
A. 7 March 2007: Hi Honey!
That is such exciting news! Here's a few tips for naming babies. You should try to keep the name within the same ethnicity - for example - John Adamson and Sanjay Choudry. It's always great if you can find an interesting name (mid... (read in full...)
What would be the difference between a confident flirt and a Jerk?
Q. What would be the difference between a confident flirt and a Jerk? In what case would they become the same ?...
A. 7 March 2007: A confident flirt never crosses the line. He says things that have double-meanings (and NOT rude), innocently and with a slight smile . A jerk says something direct that is offensive while staring at your chest and rubbing your arm. A flirt ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to fancy somebody else's wife?
Q. Is it wrong to fancy someone else's wife? ...
A. 7 March 2007: Everyone fancies someone innappropriate under the wrong circumstances from time to time, it's human nature and you can't help who you are attracted to. You can control your actions, however. Don't act on this. Don't forget the "Thou Shalt Not ... (read in full...)
Am I bleeding because of his intensive fingering or do I just have an irregular period?
Q. Okay this is not going to sound particularly nice, but I'm kinda worried.. Well i was fooling around with a guy the other night and he was fingering me but doing it really hard, I did tell him after a while but it was sore at the time Then the...
A. 7 March 2007: Hi Honey,
Don't be worried about asking a Doctor for help if you are ever concerned about your period being too heavy. It may just be another period and the activity could have stimulated some flow before it started. If the experience was real... (read in full...)
My girlfriend was in a car crash recently, she's very emotional all the time, what can I do to help her?
Q. My gf has recently been in a car crash, she didn't get a serious damage and neither did the driver only now shes been home for about a week now and shes extremely emotional and very vunerable she doesn't seem to want to go out as if she scared. ...
A. 6 March 2007: Hello,
Even though is was a minor accident with minor injuries, people go through a lot of shock, flashbacks and soul searching after a car crash. Sometimes it is the first time that you have feared your own death and the fact that you had this... (read in full...)
He wants to take a job which will mean I'll be on my own for 2 weeks at a time! I didn't get into a relationship with him to be alone!!!!
Q. I need some honest advice about if I am being selfish and unfair to allow my man to accept a job where he will be traveling 8 to 10 at a time? After a almost 30 terrible years of being married, I finally got to courage to leave and find a bette...
A. 6 March 2007: Hi,
I really feel your pain, I have made many sacrifices for my family and husband during the course of his thirty year career. This past year alone he has travelled over 150,000 miles by air. We have lived overseas for nine years and I am in my t... (read in full...)
I'm going to meet his mum and sister properly for the first time. How can I impress them both?
Q. next month i am meeting my bf mum and sister properly for the first time. his sister is in her mid 20s and we are going to move into the spare room in her flat later this year. how can i impress both of them as i am very shy and some times been ...
A. 6 March 2007: If your first meeting has gone that well with his Mum, I'd say you have nothing to worry about! His Mum and sister both want to see that you appreciate him. You can remark on his good manners (Mums like that) and how kind and well brought up he ... (read in full...)
Am I ever going to be able to track him down and get any payments out of him towards bringing up our son?
Q. Hi I'm not sure if anyone can help me. I need advise or words from Americans please, sorry not being prejudiced but you will see why when you read my question. My ex went off to USA last year. Hasn't paid any maintenance money for our son - ever! ...
A. 5 March 2007: Can you clarify whether he is your ex-husband or ex-partner? ... (read in full...)
Is my mum right?
Q. My mum says if you have sex just after you finished your period you cant get pregnant as its already released the egg, im not sure this is true, does any one know if this is true...
A. 5 March 2007: The egg is released 14 days before your period (whether your cycle is 26 days or 45 days). But, women can release an egg when they are fertile and stimulated by their partner, spontaneously, at any time during their cycle (on rare occasions). So ... (read in full...)
I've been with my girlfriend for 19 months but I know she's not right for me yet I don't want to hurt her. What can I do about it?
Q. Well...here goes. I've been with my 18yo girlfriend for about 19 months we moved in together about 6 months ago and i think things aren't working out. It's the most bizzare feeling as i do still love her, i just know that despite this i don't want ...
A. 5 March 2007: Every long term relationship has its ups and downs, but the fact that you don't see her in your future is glaring insight. It sounds likes you care for her well-being but don't trust her and have come to the conclusion that you are not going to get ... (read in full...)
I love my man, we're both successful, but it seems he needs someone who needs him. I need him emotionally! What should I do?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 4 years with a wonderful man, living together for 1 year. We both have professional careers and started drifting apart under work related stress. I am very independent, and we earn the same amount of money. He says ...
A. 4 March 2007: Have you asked him to define the reason why he thinks you don't need him? If it is solely the fact that you both earn the same amount of money, that is just a self-esteem issue that only he can resolve. I am sure that your being successful and ... (read in full...)
He says I'm fat, wants to leave me and wants to have sex with other women... but I love him, what do I do?
Q. hi me and my bf are together for 8years now.a year ago he started to swear at me then he changed alot towards me he got very rude and had a bad temper, he gets angry quickly. He told my yesterday he actually wants to leave me coz its my fault he ...
A. 4 March 2007: It sounds like he has the potential to become an abusive partner. GET OUT of this relationship as fast as you can. You deserve so much more than this. Take all our advice and RUN away from this loser. There is someone better out there waiting ... (read in full...)
Im 40 he is 21, is it selfish of me to stay with him ?
Q. I am a fourty year old lady dating a twenty two year old guy we have been together for thirteen months we live together and have done since day one almost. Do you think its selfish or not of me staying with him? There are so many reasons for staying ...
A. 4 March 2007: He sounds like a great guy. No, you are not being selfish, everyone deserves to find love and happiness. If you do the math, 21-40, 31-50, 41-60, it seems reasonable enough. I'm sure that having children together will keep you young. Most ... (read in full...)
I was forced to have sex with this boy, my friend now doesnt want to know me, and I feel I have no one to talk to!!!
Q. i feel as if i am alone i have no one to talk to i am due to go to counselling in a few weeks i feel as if i cant go through with pretending everythings ok when its not. i was forced to have sex with a boy. my best friend tried to help me but ...
A. 4 March 2007: Please go and talk to your Dad. I know he's your Dad and that this will be hard for you to do, but you really need the help of an adult, not your sister or a friend. Trust me your Dad will know what to do and take care of you. ... (read in full...)
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