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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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Can my mother forbid me to see my older boyfriend, whom I met on msn?
Q. Hey, 6 months ago i met my boyfriend through msn and have been together 4 months now, 2 days ago he moved down to be with me. We love each other but i was wondering if my mum can stop me seeing him? im 16 and hes 27. Please give me good advice x...
A. 22 November 2007: Glad to hear that it's all worked out for you! Best of luck with School, Mom and Boyfriend.... (read in full...)
They'll probably kick me out of University.
Q. Hi, I'm a university student and I just started in September. I have also been working for Sainsbury’s supermarket for 2 years. When I got my lecture schedule it became apparent that it would clash with my work schedule. When I asked them to change ...
A. 12 November 2007: You have already stated that that this is entirely your fault. You are not "doomed", but you seem determined to shoot yourself in the foot.
Stop keeping all of this to yourself and talk with your TA's, Profs and enlist the resources of your fell... (read in full...)
I'm 16... can I buy a vibrator? Does "everyone" own one?
Q. i am sixteen years old and want to use a vibrator but i am embarressed abouit buying one. can i just walk into a shop and buy one? and does everyone use them?...
A. 10 November 2007: A lot of people own them and use them too! They are easy to shop for online, under sex toys, dildos or vibrators. They usually are shipped very discreetly, so don't worry about the package arriving. You can even ask them HOW they are packaged - ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I have a crush on him and then maybe it will pass? - I already have a bf.
Q. I have been dating this guy for almost a year and been living together for 7 months. He's a wonderful person and I really love him and would never do anything to hurt him, but for the last 2 1/2 months I have been training at the gym with one of ...
A. 7 November 2007: Get a new trainer. Seriously.
Most people in long term relationships realize that while they may from time-to-time be attracted to someone else, it is acting on the attraction that constitutes cheating. You can control your thoughts to a cer... (read in full...)
My gf's sister and 4 year old loud niece are moving in. I want to help out family but feel this may be too much!
Q. My gf's sister and her 4yr old niece are moving in with us. We live in a small 2bd condo and space is tight. Never before did I think that I would have a problem helping out "family" in a time of need but I do have some serious concerns regarding ...
A. 6 November 2007: Try to set up a few guidelines in advance. Your house, your rules. You and your girlfriend should talk about how you will deal with whatever should arise. Just make sure that you are on the same page and that she will be siding with you when ... (read in full...)
What do people think about dogging?
Q. ok how does people think about dogging my husband of 20 yrs wants us to go he thinks it might spice up our sex life his fantasy is to see me with other men. sound weird my fantasy is to see him with another women. trouble is he has recently been ...
A. 26 September 2007: Hear Hear.... (read in full...)
What do people think about dogging?
Q. ok how does people think about dogging my husband of 20 yrs wants us to go he thinks it might spice up our sex life his fantasy is to see me with other men. sound weird my fantasy is to see him with another women. trouble is he has recently been ...
A. 21 September 2007: The problem, aside from the obvious health risks, is that once you open a door like this in your marriage, there is likely no going back. Once you try this - where does the next thrill come from? There is nothing wrong with one on one sex, or even ... (read in full...)
My mum found my vibrator and seems to be shocked! I'm so embarrassed!
Q. Yesterday i came home from work and my mum was really weird with me - very quiet and acting like she was mad and didnt want to speak to me but i didnt know why. So i went up to my room and saw that she had been tidying it up because she had a day ...
A. 20 September 2007: I'm with Phil here. That was hilarious! :-D You shouldn't be embarrased. It is absolutely fine to have a sex toy. If you know for sure that your Mom put it on your bed because she disapproves, it's her hang-up, not yours. It's a cringe-worthy ... (read in full...)
Is it acceptable for someone in a relationship to be swapping numbers with people of the opposite sex and receiving such texts about how horny she was?
Q. My boy of 6 months and who lives with me, asked me to get a phone number out of a message on his phone for him. In doing so, I found a text from a girl that he had met a few weeks ago when he was out with his friends. It said how horny she was, ...
A. 19 September 2007: You know that it is inapropriate. If he has answered, that's even more inappropriate.
You shouldn't let your past relationship determine what you do now. If he is your boyfriend, and you are living together, he should not be in a position with... (read in full...)
Do you think my abusive ex knows everything is his fault and just can't handle his guilt?
Q. hi there, anyone got any advice about this? i have left my abusive partner of 20 years. yes we have split up time and time again before but this time i have spoke out and told him exactly what i think of him and told him all the nasty things he ...
A. 19 September 2007: Family Shelter Service.org
Check out the information at this website (Dupage, Illinois - US Google - not sure if it come up on British search engine). There is a lot of very supportive information, both about the victim and the perpetrator. Ther... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is too busy to see me or call - He says he is not the phone type of guy!
Q. my boyfriend is too busy to see me or call. He goes for a week without calling if l dont call him he doesnt call and when l call he says l tried your number and l failed to get through. He also says he is not the phone type of guy. Tell me if he ...
A. 19 September 2007: I'm not sure if this is helpful or not. My daughter is staying with me right now. She and her boyfriend BOTH are not big on phone calls. Even though she KNOWS this, she still gets mad, feels hurt and is suspicious if he doesn't call. They ... (read in full...)
I find her mum a bit too involved with out relationship and other peoples' lives. Has anyone else experienced this?
Q. I think my girlfriend has an issue with her mum talking to me. Her mum is very forceful and quite dramatic. For example if I have a bad neckache she runs around and gets me headache tablets and tells me to sit in a certain position to help it and my ...
A. 16 September 2007: Yeah,
It sounds pretty inappropriate. Your girlfriend's Mom doesn't seem to know boundries. You should help your girlfriend set them. You girlfriend is upset because SHE wants to be the one to help you and "mother" you when you are ill. That... (read in full...)
Because of my split, I feel that I'm falling into depression. Please help.
Q. me and my ex have been split up for 6 months im still in love with him i cry myself to sleep. he still comes to c me and we still do stuff and he says he loves me and cares for me then ignores me. what do i do i feel im falling into depression. i ...
A. 14 September 2007: You haven't made a clean break of it and seeing him repeatedly is giving you false hope. It's hard to heal when you are holding on to something that is no longer there. You need to NOT see him for at least 6 months. At least. Give yourself a ... (read in full...)
My husband said his feelings for me could change again, but only if I kicked my daughter out of our house!
Q. My husband and I have been married for two years. We have both been married before and have children from previous relationships, we also have our own four year old son. We have had quite a few problems in the past but have always managed to ...
A. 14 September 2007: Why does he want your daughter to go? It's not very normal thing to pick and choose the children that you wish to raise - because your new husband wants to abandon them. A child of 15 is still a child and probably needs MORE guidance, not less. ... (read in full...)
How do I get rid of this creep?!
Q. *(Note -I come from a conservative part of the world, where marriages are still arranged!! Yes, Seriously!) There's this guy who happened to see my profile online, on a social networking site, and found me interesting. (We belong to the same comm...
A. 12 September 2007: The previous writer had a good suggestion.
I'd get your father to write him, but I would also send another personal note asking again, politely, to back off.
You could word it: Dear _____, I would like to ask that you please give me some spa... (read in full...)
We have been separated for years, but I am afraid to file for divorce
Q. I am 49 woman, separated from my husband for a number of years though not in his eyes. In 2000 he gave me std's after 20 years of marriage, the same time this happened i lost my mother and my world fell apart. this actually helped my husband stay in ...
A. 12 September 2007: If you have been living in the house, and he has not, for the past two years with your children who still live at home, you probably have more rights to the family home than he does. You really need to consult a lawyer. You should also consult him ... (read in full...)
I let friendships drift apart and feel lonely now; never leave the house other than to go to work and my colleagues are of other category of age. What to do?
Q. I'm so lonely, i dont have any friends in life and dont know how to meet anyone. im 22 and not at university or college and i work in such a small firm where most people are in their 40s or 50s so i cant meet anyone there. i lost touch with my fr...
A. 11 September 2007: You don't need anyone else to join clubs or societies with, you join them to meet others. There aren't any clubs that I know of that require you to join in pairs, other than marriage councelling and scuba-diving (buddy-system). So, don't let that ... (read in full...)
I have no interests anymore, and no motivation. Please help!
Q. Hello everyone, I need some help from anyone willing to give me advice. In the past I have made many bad decisions in life. My parents have never been a very good influence in my life at all, and still aren't, and I have not many friends, as I move ...
A. 11 September 2007: I am sorry, it sounds like you have not had much support in your life. You are not the things that happened to you in the past, you do have control over what happens to you in the future. If you are unhappy with how things are going now, take ... (read in full...)
Do doctors prescribe medication to help you cope with a break up?
Q. Has anyone ever been given medication by their doctor to help cope with a break up? Im really really struggling to forget about my ex - it hurts like hell and im torturing myself by thinking about him and crying about him all day and all night to ...
A. 11 September 2007: Hi, You did not say how long you have been broken up for. If it is a fairly recent split, it's normal to feel a lot of anxiety, have crying jags, trouble sleeping, no appetite, food binges, and actual aches and pains - especially that hollow c... (read in full...)
What do men think about a women asking them out?
Q. I am 36, female and single. I got chatting to this great guy who's single and 38, i felt that he liked me. I then asked him out on a date and he said Yes. What do men think about a women asking them out? ...
A. 11 September 2007: Hi,
There was a recent show on US TV about where men were - and how to meet them. One male writer who wrote about dating explained - Guys don't like to have to make the first move, walk across the room, make the first opening remark or ask a girl... (read in full...)
I want to lose weight and I don't mind eating in moderation but I hate exercising. What's the best way I can exercise which loses a lot of calories in the shortest time?
Q. I want to lose weight and I don't mind eating in moderation but I hate exercising. What's the best way I can exercise which loses a lot of calories in the shortest time? Also how can I tone my stomach?...
A. 9 September 2007: Power Plate. 15 minute workouts - 2 to 3 times a week. It can be expensive in the US, but in Europe and the UK, many gyms have it as regular equipment. You DO need a good trainer for it to be effective, but it tones All your muscles and is great ... (read in full...)
I am staying at my grandmother's house just now and I am soooooo bored!
Q. I'm 18 and recently graduated high school in NY, my parents decided to take a long long vacation to Colombia which I thought I liked but not anymore. I got here almost a month ago and I got braces here because they are less expensive here but right ...
A. 9 September 2007: Sounds like a marvelous opportunity to catch up on all the reading, hobbies and other things that you haven't had time to do in the past. You are a high school graduate, so you are obviously smart enough to entertain yourself. BUT, What about ... (read in full...)
I think he cheated... What do you think?
Q. I think my partner is cheating on me, please advise We have been together for 14 years, and have lived together for nearly 7. I have a son by a previous relatonship who has left home. We live with our two other children who are 6 and 3. For so...
A. 8 September 2007: I am a big believer in gut feelings. Where to go from there is up to you. I would decide now if I would keep him or kick him to the curb if you do find out that he is unfaithful. There is no right answer here, only what you are willing to live ... (read in full...)
When we were doing it I made a horrible 'windy' noise from my privates...
Q. Last night was so embarrassing!!! I stayed over my boyfriends (I've been with him a month) and when we were doing it I made a horrible 'windy' noise from my privates - I was so embarrassed and he stopped and didn't really know what to say!! I'm so ...
A. 7 September 2007: This happens a lot when you are in a position that allows air to enter the vagina - with your butt in the air a bit (doggy style springs to mind). The penis is pumping in and out and allowing air to be pushed in and out, producing a "farting" ... (read in full...)
My mother said she likes to pick trouble with me so I can do something wrong and she can call the cops!
Q. I cant stand it! i am very emothional and people who I "thought that love me" are bringing me down. Like my mom, when i stand up for someone she yells at me like i was the one who to blame, but when she stands up for someone and i disagree she ...
A. 7 September 2007: It sounds like you are reacting and that any discussion with your Mom puts you on the defensive. The situation is feeding off of itself and I think that you are right to move out as soon as possible. You stand the chance of permanently damaging ... (read in full...)
I can no longer satisfy my wife... Will THIS help?...
Q. my wife no longer enjoys intercourse with me because i can no longer satisfy her.i am getting older and started taking medication.my penis is no longer big enough to satisfy her .we both like other forms of sex but she still needs intercourse once ...
A. 7 September 2007: Many medications, for example high blood pressure medications, can affect the strength and size of an erection, as does age. Check things out with your physician. You may be a candiate for ED medication. The most important thing is to use it! ... (read in full...)
Can a Doctor perform a smear test on a woman, even if there is a nurse present?
Q. can any one help me answar a question ,regarding a male doctor ?can he perform a smear test on a girl/lady even when there is a nurse present?...
A. 7 September 2007: In most countries, a female assistant has to be present if the doctor is male. It protects the doctor and the patient.... (read in full...)
Am I crazy?
Q. After breaking up 3 months ago an engagement of more than a year and a relationship of two years I'm fluctuating between happiness and feeling all motivated about my new single life and depressive crying spells when I remember about him. Am I ...
A. 7 September 2007: Hi Hun,
Your just grieving dear. It will pass with time. Don't isolate yourself and keep active socially. Have a good old cry whenever you feel the need to. You are absolutely normal. ... (read in full...)
I've been propositioned by much younger woman. I'm worried I might not come up to expectations. Any advice?
Q. I'm nearly 60 years of age and I've been seriously propositioned by a woman of 23. I'm not sure what she sees in me, as I'm no oil painting but she is fantastic looking. I feel honoured, BUT - I'm worried I might not come up to expectations. A...
A. 6 September 2007: As long as you are both single and there are no other reasons why you would not want to be in any relationship with her, I don't see it as a problem. If YOU see it as a problem, it could become a problem. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother hates me!
Q. Boyfriend's Mother HATES ME I suspected my boyfriend's mother hated me when she repeatedly sang praises about his ex-girlfriend (two girlfriends ago) and how much the whole family loved her. It was confirmed when she began calling me NOT by my act...
A. 6 September 2007: I'm sorry.
I know for a fact that this is hard from where you are coming from. My Mother-in-law was a total cow. After she died, I missed her terribly and still do. It took a while, but I could see how much she loved her son and her gran... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lost his rag with me and now wont speak to me or contact me. What should I do?
Q. Ok, I am 50 and my b/f is 55. We have been dating for 5 months. We have a great relationship. He tells me he loves me and shows it to me in many ways. He will do anything for me. He has a son (24) with some medical concerns who lives out of state. ...
A. 5 September 2007: I guess because his ex calls constantly and blames him for everything, he feels any messages are a bad thing. Unfortunately, his issues are what's damaging your relationship. It's not wrong to call once or twice a day when you are worried about ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and wondering what i'm doing with my life! Any advice please?
Q. Right..at the minute im at school..i dont really no what to put..i have just started year 11. im 15. my problem is, i dont think i have many good friends..i walk around school at break and dinner on my own, that makes me seem like the loner loserish ...
A. 5 September 2007: If you are smoking every day, it's a really bad idea. I grew up in the 60's/70's. All of the people that I knew that were stoners never really amounted to anything. It kind of saps your ambition. It sounds like you need some direction. You ... (read in full...)
Can my mother forbid me to see my older boyfriend, whom I met on msn?
Q. Hey, 6 months ago i met my boyfriend through msn and have been together 4 months now, 2 days ago he moved down to be with me. We love each other but i was wondering if my mum can stop me seeing him? im 16 and hes 27. Please give me good advice x...
A. 4 September 2007: You sound like you are transferring all your anger to us and we're not your Mum. I think that you sound like you are on the defense and reacting to everything instead of listening and discussing things. Have you done the same thing with your Mum? ... (read in full...)
I am 34 and my clock is ticking. Will I ever meet 'the one'?
Q. Hi, I am a 34 year old woman who has been single for a while now. I have been in a succession of long term relationships, usually with older men, which have not developed into anything such as marriage or kids. I feel like my clock is ticking and I ...
A. 4 September 2007: My neighbors have just celebrated their 10th anniversary. They met and parted Before the Second World War. After both being widowed, they found each other. People are most open to meeting other people when they are happy and involved in their own ... (read in full...)
I took my pill more than 12 hours late. Is there a chance that protection has been affected?
Q. Ok i need sum help... Last month i took one of my pills more than 12 hours late. I took it straight away and all my other pills on time after that. In total including my late pill i took 7 pills. I then had my period in my seven day break. I starte...
A. 4 September 2007: If you have been taking birth control for several months and the gap is only 12 hours, you should be okay. Take a pregnancy test if you are driving yourself crazy so that you can stop worrying and relax!
Are you sure that you should be havi... (read in full...)
Does feeling up your boobs cause them to grow?
Q. hiia, i recently herd off a friends mum that feeling and playing with your boobs stimulate the cell tissue and makes them grow, is this true? i was just wondering because she always says to my friends who have bf that there boobs have bin man hand...
A. 4 September 2007: No.... (read in full...)
My girlfriends boss is flirting with her and sending her innapropriate texts
Q. So my girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years and things for the most part seem to be going great. I even bought a ring a few months ago with the intent to propose on our anniversary now 1 month away. Here's the problem. She started a new ...
A. 4 September 2007: You should not have to approach him. You should be asking her why she is accepting text messages at that hour. She needs to redefine her "business" relationship by telling her boss, in no uncertain terms, what her "office" hours are. If she balks ... (read in full...)
Can my mother forbid me to see my older boyfriend, whom I met on msn?
Q. Hey, 6 months ago i met my boyfriend through msn and have been together 4 months now, 2 days ago he moved down to be with me. We love each other but i was wondering if my mum can stop me seeing him? im 16 and hes 27. Please give me good advice x...
A. 4 September 2007: Picture yourself in the same situation. When You are a 27 year old woman, do you want to be with a 16 year old boy? Don't you think that's is a bit suspect? Your Mom doesn't want to ruin your life - she gave it to you!!! Her whole happiness ... (read in full...)
We split and I want to do cold turkey and not speak to him but will this seem childish?
Q. Right so, If a guy breaks up with you (very amicably) because the relationship can't happen because of external factors (and he won't admit his feelings you) and you feel very hurt, what do you do if the guy contacts you on a friendly basis a few ...
A. 3 September 2007: In the end, you can only do what you are capable of. If you arleady know the pattern of how the two of you react with each other and it always winds up with you feeling terrible, why put yourself through it again? It's not wrong to give someone ... (read in full...)
He swears he wishes he could spend more time with me, but is he just saying that?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend two years and for the first year and a half we would go out at least once a week. For the past several months, we have hardly gone out at all on dates. He owns a business and is very busy building it. The only times I ...
A. 3 September 2007: I was wondering if he actually keeps the times or dates that he makes with you and if he is punctual. He could be driven. He could be sincere and busy. He could be lying. He could be a workaholic. He could have obsessive/compulsive personality ... (read in full...)
My mum and I keep falling out over the stupidest things. What can I do?
Q. ok i love my mum to bits since our dad was absent me my mum and brother were always close however the past few months have been different, me and my mum keep falling out over the stupidest things a part of me thinks it's because i'm grow...
A. 3 September 2007: It has been my experience that the closer you are to someone, the harder you have to fight to break away from them. This sometimes is worse between mothers and daughters. You learn everything about being a woman and a mom from her, and then you ... (read in full...)
She's young enough to be my granddauughter! Do I take her up on her offer?
Q. Do I take her up on her offer? I've just been seriously propositioned by a 23 year old woman. She gave me her address and told me when her husband would be at work, and told me that she needed regular servicing. I feel certain she was serious....
A. 3 September 2007: Seriously?
I think you already know what to do. If she has propositioned you, she probably has done it a few other times as well. The packaging might be good, but as you have said, she may be good to look at, but not as easy to satisfy. If her ... (read in full...)
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