A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a fourty year old lady dating a twenty two year old guy we have been together for thirteen months we live together and have done since day one almost. Do you think its selfish or not of me staying with him? There are so many reasons for staying together and so many for not. Are we being ridiculous talking of starting a family together as i am sterilised and it would mean alot of work and money. I have never been with some one who i get on so well with in any aspect of our relatioship and i feel sometimes im selfish as he should be doing all these things with someone more his own age. When i say this to him he says if he wanted that he wouldnt still be here with me. What do you guys think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2007): i met my felly 9 years ago he was 22 i was 31 not too much of a age difference but i made it quite clear back then that i would not be having any more children as i had 2 children and did not want any more,he stood by me throughout the good times and the bad,my children are 19, 20 now and i have a 4 month old grandchild.It was far from planned but now i im pregnant and i would not change a thing because i know he will always be there for me, age does not matter if you are both happy go for it
A
male
reader, droscarwilde  +, writes (7 March 2007):
Selfish! Are you Kidding?
When I was 18 had the time of my life......I was so sophisticated....I THOUGHT.....for about six months I had the an affair with...(get-this) (OLDER)woman!
She was beautiful. I was in love...s-o-r-t-a.
ME! She remarked to her girl frinds....Is he beautiful..or what?
I was a good lookin kid. AND had personality an the sex drive of a race car.......so....well...
Let me just say....WE had a great time....
privatly that is...
I'm 62. Back in the (so-called) GOOD OLD DAY'S. THAT!
That being (whatever someone else labeled as BAD) just wasn't done.....and if it was...you kept silent.
Our's was a bedroom romance. Sounds funny today but (it) just wasn't done...this was the 50's
After about six months the flame slowly went out.
I joined the Navy,,,,what ever happened to her I never knew.....she moved, I married etc. etc.....
FORWARD....to today....
We all do (stupid) things as we trudge though life. Why?
Because we are (ignorrant) There's is a big difference...
My opinion, being the only opinion I can give;
To have a baby, to believe this young man would still be there when you're 60......this young stud would give up ALL the young women, his time, his life...for EVER!
You'd have have brain damage.
I'm 62, personable, wise, charm, etc. etc.
Would you date marry me? Would you sleep with me?
Not unless I had something material going for me. Which I do,but....I'm not looking....Just giving you an example.!
Wake up darlin!
Twenty years from now....when your breast's look like two eggs hanging on a nail,etc. etc. etc.getting the picture are you?
Another factual example:
When was the last you saw a beautiful young tender filly...strolling down lover's lane....lane being your local mall...with a gray heade older man....who doesn't have two nickels to rib together?
Older men,,,,like movie stars which I shall not mention believe they are trading up.....a trophy wife. She LOVES him...for his charm,,.,,the money has nothing to do with it. Ya sure~!
And I'm the Easter Bunny!
I get a kick out of the dating ad's. He wants looks-body-
class...and don't forget....AT LEAST least 20 years younger.
She wants...romantic walks on the beach...etc.etc, never leaves the hint of SEX.....if and only if....this nerd is sucessful.....
I've never read one ad where he or she sougnt a partner who had charecter,,,,was kind,,,was caring.
REALITY: I'll give ya two boobs, my body..a sucessful....professional...of course man.
Give it a name: Prostitution on the..Let's make a deal plan.
He's thinkin...wow..what a body....she's thinkin...he's a dud, looks OK, got bucks...
Fast forward six months////he soon discover's her ass...those breasts....were purchased!
She finds he's really mortgaged up to the hilt, the car his mother gave hime because his car was repossesed.
CONCLUSION; They both got screwed.....in the end.
Back to you my dear,,,enjoy the pleasure's where you find them. It's you life.
Just remember your the one makes the choice. Win or loose...who knows? Odd's...I'd bet 20 to one he's gone in less than a year.....UNLESS!
He's never had sex with a real-live-girl.
Magazines don't count. And his face would stop a clock at 40 paces. Then I'd give you even odd's 50-50
If my frankness offends, if my tell it like it is approach seems harsh....OH WELL!
I'm not insensitive my dear I am one who's been there...done...that...too!
Wisdon is the answer. Be wise young lady....
Young to me,,,see how it's all relative?
I know your feeling, your emotions, your love for this man is real. I'm not making light of situation believe me. My intent is only to perhaps guide you.
I don't know you personally so lacking the facts who can say what your future might be?
Think about the child you'll bring into the world. The expence, the time, the man you betting you future on.....
You really don't know a person's REAL self. We all have out secrets, our sin's.
I would like to be appointed your judge and condemn you morally but unfortunalty I'm not quite GOOD enough to do so. As I said I'd like to...so would every body else. Many will...trust me on his. They fell...IT'S MY DUTY....MY JOB TO JUDGE YOU...WHY YOU,YOU, FORNICATING FEMALE
Ya! Sure....OK.....
That's just part of living in this big world of ours.
You want some real enterainment....ask a man who loves to tell other's how to live, what to believe...a know it all,,,
Ah! Yes! Well I'll tell said the insipid old fart, ya see when a woman has a baby, the pain first starts in the left foot, and then her tooth begins to grow and thenafter she aaah,, ,,,,,where was I???.
Get the point!
Best wishes darln! Take care! Bye!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): I am glad to finally see older women with younger men, I am older than you, and guys in their twenties often flirt with me, but I have not been asked out by any one that young....darn! I think there is a stigma surrounding it that women are supposed to marry up, someone more successful than they are, but men have been doing this for years, and if women fall for younger men because they make them happy, then why not, just because we can give birth doesn't mean we can't be attracted to and fall in love with a much younger man! Age is not just a number, there are some concerns with biology in that aging actually accelerates with advancing age, but as long as both people know what they are up against and still want to be together then who is anyone else to judge! A lot of people age differently too, some poorly, and some amazingly, and if the right pair is together, it may just be the perfect match.
Since women live so much longer than men do usually, I think it is great to marry a younger man so that you don't have to spend twenty years without your mate after they die and they most likely will never be alone again once they marry the older woman....as long as he doesn't mind the wrinkles, and he loves you for you, I think you should count your blessings. It gives me hope that something like this could be possible for me someday! As I find older men rather difficult to be in a relationship, so much baggage, and they want to be in control of all the important decisions, hard to do for someone who has been independent and on their own as long as I have, so I say more power to you!
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A
female
reader, Sexybum +, writes (4 March 2007):
 Well he sounds quite mature and obviously wants a mature women rather then a younger lady who doesn't know what she wants out of life.... People will be surprised how mature soem young people are.... I am only 20 but get on best with people 30+ I find people my own age obnoxious and irritating.....
If you guys want to start a family then go for it... If you let him go you will regret it... happiness has coem your way so grab it with both hands and embrace it while you have the chance.... You guys have good communications so whenever you feel anxious I'm sure you will be able to talk about it with him and this will simply build and enhance your relationship and understanding with each other
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (4 March 2007):
 He sounds like a great guy. No, you are not being selfish, everyone deserves to find love and happiness. If you do the math, 21-40, 31-50, 41-60, it seems reasonable enough. I'm sure that having children together will keep you young. Most people are waiting to start families these days, so you will probably find that a lot of the parents are closer to your age. Is he really sure about kids and already working towards a goal with his job (you didn't mention what he does)? His work ethic is important if you want to stick together and have children. I think if you are really committed to each other and he is stable the only other problem you are going to have is meeting his Mother... Grandchildren would be a helpful here as well!
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (4 March 2007):
 Although the is only 22 he sounds as though he has got a very mature head on his shoulders.
When you say to him he should be doing things with girls his own age, his reply is if he wanted that he woulden't still be here with you, that says it all. And after all age is only a number, if you both feel strongly about each other there is no reason atal why this shoulden't work.
All the best of luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2007): im sorry to say this but let him go before he cheats on you as its only a matter of time
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (4 March 2007):
 I think he's being honest. Do you remember when you were in your 20s how guys were then? When guys get freaked out that things are going too fast then they run. If he's sticking around he's showing that he's mature and that he loves you. As long as you both want the same things you're not pressuring him so just enjoy your realtionship and make sure you take all the advice before you get pregnant.
CD
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