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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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She's young enough to be my granddauughter! Do I take her up on her offer?
Q. Do I take her up on her offer? I've just been seriously propositioned by a 23 year old woman. She gave me her address and told me when her husband would be at work, and told me that she needed regular servicing. I feel certain she was serious....
A. 3 September 2007: Seriously?
I think you already know what to do. If she has propositioned you, she probably has done it a few other times as well. The packaging might be good, but as you have said, she may be good to look at, but not as easy to satisfy. If her ... (read in full...)
He wants to wait until we're in our late 40s to have children! How can I convince him he's wrong?
Q. I'm 24, my husband's 26. Yesterday we were discussing about having children, and he said he wants to wait until we're in our late 40s - early 50s to have children. I've told him that's a bad idea, but he insists it will be better if we have kid...
A. 3 September 2007: I am 52. My children are 21 and 25 (I was 26 and 30 giving birth). I think if I had a baby right now, I would not be having the GREAT time that I am having now. I am looking forward to grandkids, don't get me wrong, but I have money for MYSELF ... (read in full...)
I was the one who decided upon the type of relation (FWB), now it irritates me when he's talking with another woman at work!
Q. To make a long story short. There is this guy that I work with, we have had a "sexual relationship" for about a year now. I was the one who decided that's all it would be... of course he agreed, what guy wouldn't? I really didn't like hinm in that ...
A. 2 September 2007: You can't "act" like you don't care because you obviously do care about him, more than you have been willing to admit to yourself? There is only one solution, Put your cards on the table. Tell him that you have feelings for him and see if he wants ... (read in full...)
I've met somebody else who makes me feel things my fiance doesnt!!
Q. I'm in my late 20s and I have a problem. I have a fiance and he stresses me out a lot and I've been engaged for 4 years going on 5, I don't know why I don't want to get married yet, the thing is I've fallen in love with someone else who lives nearer ...
A. 2 September 2007: If you are having second thoughts, and need to ask other people what to do, you need to re-think why you would consider marrying your fiance. Long engagements are hard, but marriages last much longer. Your heart is telling you to reconsider your ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and always really depressed...
Q. Hi I'm 15 and always really depressed, since I was 10. I moved from my hometown to somewhere I don't like, I've lived here 5 years now and it depresses me. I can't trust people around here and my past still haunts me. I was sexually abused by my ...
A. 2 September 2007: Hi Sweetie,
You shouldn't have to cope on your own. Talk with your Mum and get her to take you for counceling. You should probably see a personal tharapist and a family therapist with your Mum as well. Things will get better with time. You shou... (read in full...)
Is it disrespectful to give a gift to someone who's involved with another?
Q. Is buying a gift or giving something to a ex or a person involved a sign of disrespect to the lover of the person you have given the gift to?...
A. 2 September 2007: It depends on what the intention behind the gift is and what it is. If it's a CD of "Your" song, of course it's wrong. If it's boxer shorts, it's wrong. If it refers to something significant that you and he shared together, it's wrong. Of ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of tricking him into fatherhood!
Q. I have been seeing a man for nearly 1 year, I do not have romantic feelings for him and neither does he for me, he is special to me and I class him as a friend more than anything, we purely have each other for sexual satisfaction. I am however ...
A. 2 September 2007: You are playing with fire here. Even if you strongly feel that you would be able to do this on your own, you not. You are using his sperm against his direct consent. You and he have already discussed it. You can justify it any way that you want, ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to smell a little "down there"?
Q. Hey i know this maybe too much but... I am 15 and am a virgin. I am worried about "down there" as i smell a little. Is this usual in anyway???? Pleasse help, i am worried and feel so dirty!! x...
A. 29 August 2007: Hi Sweetie,
It's perfectly normal to have an odor of your own. It should not smell like roses or daisies, either. Just make sure that you shower everyday. Wear clean underwear everyday. Rinse yourself out (especially after your period has ende... (read in full...)
I fell over whilst out and have done damage to my leg. Should I be worried about it?
Q. I was out on friday, and fell over while walking i got two seperate cuts on my leg one being worse than the other. it feel on a sharp object and got two puncture marks. i left it and came home. It is now tuesday, my knee has swollen up, the veins ar...
A. 29 August 2007: You need to go to the Emerg and get this checked out. If you should have any angry, red lines following your veins up towards your torso, it could be blood poisoning, and THAT is REALLY serious. If it IS blood poisoning and your heart gets ... (read in full...)
My friends guy kissed me. I really like him. Shall i tell my friend?
Q. hi recently i kissed one of my friends boyfriends, i really like him and a couple of friends have told me he likes me more than his own girlfriend. he had made a pass at me a few times before this time and i rejected them, then finally i just gave ...
A. 29 August 2007: Here are some really easy rules for making your life REALLY simple:
Don't date your friend's boyfriend's.
Don't date friends of friends.
Don't date relatives.
Don't date friends of relatives.
Don't date relatives of friends.
Seriously,... (read in full...)
How can I prove to my parents I haven't gotten my girlfriend (ex) pregnant???
Q. Hi my relationship with my girlfriend ended suddenly and today I decided I couldn't hang on to items and Projects that I did when I was with her and one of the things I tore up was a list that she made of me called The Pro's and Cons of dating ...
A. 27 August 2007: Hi.
Sorry for the delay. I have been traveling, moving my daughter out of Uni. I have to tell you, I have a great deal of trouble letting her make her own decisions. I'm afraid that I still do judge my two kids by their actions and not their word... (read in full...)
How can I prove to my parents I haven't gotten my girlfriend (ex) pregnant???
Q. Hi my relationship with my girlfriend ended suddenly and today I decided I couldn't hang on to items and Projects that I did when I was with her and one of the things I tore up was a list that she made of me called The Pro's and Cons of dating ...
A. 26 August 2007: Ditto. They can't run your life if you're not living at home, ... (read in full...)
At what age are g-string panties appropriate for girls?
Q. I was shopping with my mom today. We were in the kids section. They had a display of "girls and junior g-string panties 20% off." My mom and I were both shocked. At what age are g-string panties appropriate for girls? Would you let your daught...
A. 26 August 2007: Good for you for being shocked. We need more young women to take a stand about the stuff that is mass produced and marketed to young girls. No, thongs are not appropriate for girls. If they want to try them once they are teenagers, well that's ... (read in full...)
My ex has turned, what is bothering her, why is she targeting me?
Q. Hi, I will ask the question first. What is bothering her/why is she targeting me? Background- I went to visit and ex gf (I thought we were just friends now as we worked through alot in the past 3 years. She is married with a baby and didn't t...
A. 26 August 2007: I think that she is unhappy with her situation. She didn't want to marry young, she loves her child but possibly didn't want to have one at such a young age. You were a breath of freedom for her, before you found out about her deception. She has ... (read in full...)
Can I get diseases from someone who appeared to be clean?
Q. Last month I saw a guy that was great, we got intimate, but didn't have sex, we kissed and he did oral on me, of which I was fine with. I didn't do anything to him. He is very adamant about hygiene, and keeping clean, and from what he told me, he...
A. 25 August 2007: You should get a new, independant doctor. It's kind of a conflict of interest to go to a doctor that you know as a relative or friend. A friend of mine had the same situation, and it turned out the family friend/doctor was incompetant. He ignored ... (read in full...)
My ex has turned, what is bothering her, why is she targeting me?
Q. Hi, I will ask the question first. What is bothering her/why is she targeting me? Background- I went to visit and ex gf (I thought we were just friends now as we worked through alot in the past 3 years. She is married with a baby and didn't t...
A. 25 August 2007: You didn't say who broke up with whom, or who's baby it is. Is there any chance that the baby could be yours?... (read in full...)
I think I am ready to lose my virginity
Q. hi everyone. i kinda need help. you c im a virgin and i think im ready to lose it to this guy i know. i mean like he is soo sweet nd he makes me feel sooo good inside. but the thing is hes not a virgin. we talk about the subject "sex" when we r on ...
A. 25 August 2007: I like to play devil's advocate. Let's go straight to the worst case scenario. Let's say you wind up pregnant. If that happened, is he the kind of guy you could see yourself bound to, through a child, for the rest of your life? That is the ... (read in full...)
Can I get diseases from someone who appeared to be clean?
Q. Last month I saw a guy that was great, we got intimate, but didn't have sex, we kissed and he did oral on me, of which I was fine with. I didn't do anything to him. He is very adamant about hygiene, and keeping clean, and from what he told me, he...
A. 25 August 2007: Viruses, bacteria and germs are all not visible to the naked eye. It's really important to use barrier protection for every sex act, even if the person that you are with swears that they are clean or have been checked recently. You should go and ... (read in full...)
They call me the ice maiden cause I wont let any guy too close
Q. My parents divorced when i was only 9yrs old, after moving back to his home city, my dad had his "2nd childhood". We often seen him with different women. I have had a few relationships in the past(one of which gave me my two beautiful daughters!)All ...
A. 25 August 2007: Hi,
If it is people close to you that are constantly saying this, they know you best, so it might be worth looking into. However, the people closest to you CAN also like pushing your buttons... I think that you are probably the best judge of whet... (read in full...)
I broached the subject of getting engaged to the father of my daughter and he said he never wanted engagement with anyone, his rejection hurt.
Q. My boyfriend of 3 and a half years has never discussed us getting engaged or married. He moved in with me when our 11 month old daughter was born. The other day i broached the subject of us getting engaged on her pending first birthday and we ended ...
A. 25 August 2007: Sorry, that was harsh. But seriously, you need take steps to protect your daughter's rights. Perhaps forcing his hand will make him realize that he has to become a responsible person. How old do you have to be to realize that a child needs a ... (read in full...)
I broached the subject of getting engaged to the father of my daughter and he said he never wanted engagement with anyone, his rejection hurt.
Q. My boyfriend of 3 and a half years has never discussed us getting engaged or married. He moved in with me when our 11 month old daughter was born. The other day i broached the subject of us getting engaged on her pending first birthday and we ended ...
A. 25 August 2007: Consult a lawyer. You need to protect your right to raise your daughter and have child support. The minute that you asked for him to step up to the plate, he ran back to his mother. Don't even think about it, right him off and protect your child. ... (read in full...)
How important is my hairstyle in attracting a woman?
Q. I was just wondering how important my hairstyle is to attracting girls. I'm not that into my hair, it's blonde...not much information i know, but can you help at all? Thanks for any of the help you give....
A. 25 August 2007: Always clean. Never too much hair product, it makes you look vain. Not too long or too short. No pony tails or rat tails. Something that is inkeeping with the music and style you currently like. No bright colours, unless it's a couple of ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, please help
Q. Please help!! I am pregnant................. I have 28 day menstrual cycles. If I only had sex 2 days that month..........is it more likely that I conceived on the 10th or 18th day of my cycle????????...
A. 25 August 2007: Usually, you count 14 days back from your last period. That would mean that YOU, personally, having a 28 cycle, ovulate on the 14th day of your cycle, counting from the first day of your period. BUT, your body can spontaneously release an egg, on ... (read in full...)
We don't want to have sex, we want to wait, but it always feels right, what can we do?
Q. Hey guys. I need help.I'm in love with my boyfriend.Yeah I know you're most likly thinking"You can't know what love is you're only 13" I REALLY am and he is in love with. I already told him I don't want to have sex till I'm older and ready and we ...
A. 24 August 2007: I know. Some girls do feel strong urges at your age, and having a boyfriend that you love and trust makes it seem like "Why Not?". But - You did say earlier in your letter that your original intention was to wait until you got older. Did you know ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is a virgin and I want to make her first time as enjoyable as possible
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for close to a year now, and she's been a virgin the whole time. She wants me to be her first, and I am looking to make it as enjoyable or at least pleasant as I can. Any advice from a woman's perspective on how to go ...
A. 24 August 2007: That fact that you have waited a year together before going ahead has proved to her that you are someone that she can trust, so she will probably be as relaxed as she could possibly be. I was not in any pain losing my virginity, but everyone is ... (read in full...)
She threw away a picture of us kissing because it made her feel 'weird'! What does that mean??
Q. I recently went on a "Lads" holiday to Ibiza. There was 12 of us! All in all it was an amazing two weeks! Now the complicated bit.. My best friend is a girl who i've known for nearly 4 years. She's got the best personality i've ever known from...
A. 24 August 2007: I don't think any of us can get inside of her head, so you should probably get up the nerve to sit her down and ask her straight out. She must have had some kind of feelings for you to have kissed you and considered initiating sex. Perhaps she is ... (read in full...)
Married 10 years with 4 kids. Hubby complains my 'heart isn't in it' when we have sex! Any advice?
Q. I'm new and ran across the site while looking for relationship help. Here is my issue: I've been married for 10 years. My husband and I have a good relationship, but the problem is that we're both very busy. We have 4 kids which I care for...
A. 23 August 2007: Hi,
This sounds very familiar... I think you are experiencing what a lot of young women do with young children at home. I use think that it was up to me to do everything and never complain. Complaining never helps the situation anyway. But I did ... (read in full...)
I'm really worried about my wife.
Q. Right where to start my question isn't about me its about my wife, I'm very worried about her. Well we have been married for nearly 7 yrs and have a 17 yr old daughter. We also have a 2 month old daughter as well. We have someone to come to the ...
A. 23 August 2007: I am so sorry to hear about your wife losing her aunt. You and your wife are struggling with a lot right now. It takes three years for the female body to return to normal after a pregnancy - because there are so many changes that it went through ... (read in full...)
I keep getting itchy and smelly.
Q. Hi My name is Sabrina and I'm in a problem now a days kindly release me from this whenever i made love with my guy itching has started in ma vagina and start smelling after 2 days I'm very depressed about it i took so many medicines but useless ...
A. 23 August 2007: Use water, plain water and rinse yourself out after sex (unless you are trying to have a baby, of course). Always pee after sex to clear your urethra. If there is no seminal fluid left inside you, and you are still experiencing odor and itching, ... (read in full...)
How can I best go about giving my ex this book?
Q. Hello everyone, I've been broken up with my ex girlfriend for going on three months now. In addition to spending time with my friends, working out, and getting involved with some of my hobbies, I've also been doing a fair amount of reading a...
A. 23 August 2007: Hi,
I think that she would know you well enough to see through any note and know that it was yours. It wouldn't be anonymus. I really do think that you have the best of intentions. You might consider this as a parting gift. Pass along your hope... (read in full...)
I want so bad to sleep with her, I want to make love to her and tell her that I am in love with her but she's MY WIFE'S SISTER!!!
Q. I have fallen in love with my wife's sister. I love and care for my wife but not the way I feel for her sister. I want so bad to sleep with her, I want to make love to her and tell her that I am in love with her. If she asked me to sleep with her I ...
A. 23 August 2007: Be very careful what you wish for. Do you think that your wife will magically disappear? What happens if your wishes come true? You will be in the deepest pile of cow manure! Picture your life afterwards! Seriously, no good can come of this. ... (read in full...)
How can I best go about giving my ex this book?
Q. Hello everyone, I've been broken up with my ex girlfriend for going on three months now. In addition to spending time with my friends, working out, and getting involved with some of my hobbies, I've also been doing a fair amount of reading a...
A. 23 August 2007: Hi,
It sounds like you have the best of intentions regarding your ex, you probably know her well and know what might be helpful to her. BUT, I have the feeling that there is no good way to suggest that any self-help book might be a must-read or e... (read in full...)
Not so much a question I suppose - more of a cry from the heart - even doing the right thing can hurt like hell.
Q. Does knowing the answer help the heartache? In short, I'm married, she's married, both have kids and work together. Recently we told each other how we felt - head over heels in love - and have been meeting after work or at lunchtime - purely to talk ...
A. 23 August 2007: I'm glad you and your wife are talking it out. Good luck with everything.... (read in full...)
Not so much a question I suppose - more of a cry from the heart - even doing the right thing can hurt like hell.
Q. Does knowing the answer help the heartache? In short, I'm married, she's married, both have kids and work together. Recently we told each other how we felt - head over heels in love - and have been meeting after work or at lunchtime - purely to talk ...
A. 22 August 2007: I guess the whole point is that you are talking about things with your crush instead of your wife. Once you make those vows, you have PROMISED to hold them sacred. You are no longer confiding in your wife, you are confiding in the person that you ... (read in full...)
How do I get over first time nerves?
Q. me and my girlfriend have been together for a couple of weeks and today, she undid my trousers but i wasn't ready. i've never had a sexual experince and i panicked. i got scared she'd judge my penis when it was small. i know it's a superficial ...
A. 22 August 2007: Hi,
You may not like to hear this, but you are still so young, being uncomfortable in your first experience might be trying to tell you to slow down. Make sure that you know EVERYTHING about sexually transmitted disease, and how to prevent preg... (read in full...)
Should we break up before Uni? He wants to get serious and eventually married!
Q. I've had a boyfriend for nearly 2 and a half years, we're both off to uni this october.. the problem is he wants to stay together, get serious and evetually get married. I want to have a break and have informed him of this.. I am only 18 and have so ...
A. 21 August 2007: You should do what your heart is telling you. If you want to break up, then that's what you should be doing. You owe it to yourself to go into Uni and make it the experience that you want. It would be hard to have a long distance relationship, ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to masterbate to help me get over him?
Q. Hi im sixteen and am really confused. I always want to txt this guy friend of mine and i always want to fool around with him, but theres been some problems in the past and he wasnt very nice, and i know he'll probably hurt me again. So ive been ...
A. 21 August 2007: It is a very confusing time for you. You body is telling you one thing, but your head and your heart know that he treats you badly. You are a smart young person to have figured that out already, some people would have just become a doormat and ... (read in full...)
My online interest is kinda chubby and I am not sure how I feel about that
Q. I've been talking to this girl over the internet. She seems like a really nice person, and we get along.. great to be honest. I recently saw photos of her. She looked quite nice, but then I saw a few more that she hadn't posed for. Turns out she ...
A. 20 August 2007: You should steel your nerve, take a chance and meet her in person. You like her personality. Photos can lie or tell the truth, they can be flattering or add 20 pounds. I don't think that you are being shallow or unfeeling, we all have our ... (read in full...)
Everyone thinks i'm ugly.
Q. This has been making me feel depressed for a long time. EVERYWHERE I go i hear people call me ugly even at school too. I hear it almost everyday. No one even notices me or even look at me. My sister, and parents think i'm not that pretty either. ...
A. 20 August 2007: The same thing happened to me. I was called names my whole childhood and throughout high school. As it turned out, I was a "late-bloomer". I turned out pretty presentable! I can still turn a head or two, (even if they are older...) and I gave ... (read in full...)
My professor winks at me
Q. Hello! So there is this professor who started winking at me a couple of months ago. The first time he winked i was with a friend of mine so i didn't give any attention to that. I thought it was his "way' of saying hello. The next day he w...
A. 20 August 2007: Hi,
If you are with students, he winks. If there is a possiblility of other people witnessing him winking, he doesn't. He avoids paying any attention to you around his colleagues because he doesn't want to lose his job, and because his coll... (read in full...)
Is it normal for girls to go out by themselves to bars?
Q. Is it normal for girls to go out by themselves to bars? My fiance travels a lot (some for business and most for fun). Whenever he travels he goes to bars by himself.... in fact, that's how he met me when he had a girlfriend. We never cheated though. ...
A. 20 August 2007: I have a 21 year old daughter and the advice that I give her is this - travel in groups. It may be old-fashioned and parochial, but I answered a recent question about date-rape drugs and there are monsters out there in disguise. I think that from ... (read in full...)
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