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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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Is it normal for girls to go out by themselves to bars?
Q. Is it normal for girls to go out by themselves to bars? My fiance travels a lot (some for business and most for fun). Whenever he travels he goes to bars by himself.... in fact, that's how he met me when he had a girlfriend. We never cheated though. ...
A. 20 August 2007: I have a 21 year old daughter and the advice that I give her is this - travel in groups. It may be old-fashioned and parochial, but I answered a recent question about date-rape drugs and there are monsters out there in disguise. I think that from ... (read in full...)
Scared she'll tell people about my circumcised penis!
Q. I am a 15 year old male and circumcised, me and my friend want to have sex for fun but im scared she will tell everyone about my penis please help?...
A. 19 August 2007: Sex should be shared with a person that you love and trust. If you have to worry about what someone thinks about your body parts, then you are sleeping with the wrong person or doing it for the wrong reasons. Wait a few years until you are totally ... (read in full...)
My husband won't have anything to do with my parents.
Q. Husband acts like my parents don't exist. We've been married 11 years and up until a few years ago my husband made an effort to get along with my parents. Then our marriage got into trouble and we separated for over a year. Since we got back toge...
A. 19 August 2007: Hi,
It's not up to your parents, it's down to you. He needs to be a full participant in your life, not pick and choose who he will or won't deal with. Your parents had nothing to do with your marriage or separation. The fact that they were angr... (read in full...)
I love her, but I keep pushing her away!
Q. I have loved this girl for 2 years now an i know for sure she feels the same for me as she told me last year how she has feelings for me. I very stupidly said i liked her but wasn't interested in a relationship along with other excuses why i ...
A. 19 August 2007: It sounds like you are testing her because you have been through a lot in your life. It's much easier to push people away and challenge their loyalty before you throw your heart our there, than it is to take that leap of faith. If you are screwing ... (read in full...)
Is my abusive ex partner stalking me?!
Q. has anyone got any views on this? my ex partner, who can be abusive, said a few things to me when i was with him which makes me wonder does he stalk me. one time i was going to put a curtain up at my back door as you can see right into my house, and ...
A. 18 August 2007: Should you be suspicious? By now you should be convinced. He said both things deliberately to let you know that he is watching you, and that IS Stalking. You should notify the police and get a restraining order. Keep a journal and enter ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesnt want me to talk to girls - EVER
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for 11 months already (14 of this month, which has just passed), and I truly and deeply love her to death. 5 months into our relationship, I moved from Daly City, CA to Tracy, CA and here's where the problem ...
A. 18 August 2007: I guess I can see your point.
I don't think that there is a single thing wrong with having a good cry once in a while, but don't indulge yourself too much - in the grand scheme of things, you are generally pretty lucky - yours is one of dist... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesnt want me to talk to girls - EVER
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for 11 months already (14 of this month, which has just passed), and I truly and deeply love her to death. 5 months into our relationship, I moved from Daly City, CA to Tracy, CA and here's where the problem ...
A. 18 August 2007: You are brave to take on a long distance thing at your age! The hard thing with texting and phone calls is that you are missing half of the conversation, the body language and eye contact, and you will run into problems with her because of this. ... (read in full...)
He keeps flirting i think, does he fancy me?
Q. I work with a gay man and we both get on really well. Lately he has been flirting with me,holding eye contact for longer than normal,touching my arm, looking at my mouth when i speak and mirroring my posture-he doesn't do this with anyone else.He ...
A. 18 August 2007: I think he is clearly gay and you should not fall into the trap of wishing that he were straight. Gay men love women, but not because they want to sleep with them. They absolutely and sincerely love women. They admire and want to be around ... (read in full...)
Only married a month and we are already talking divorce
Q. I married my bf of 2 yrs a mth ago, so far our marriage is horrible! we argue 24/7 we have already discussed divorce, i am so lonely in this marriage it is horrible. everyone is telling me it is normal to argue this much.. is it? If so why get ...
A. 18 August 2007: The first year of marriage can be a real adjustment period. If you didn't take and marriage course before the wedding, maybe you should consider couples councelling. It sounds like you need help with communication skills if you are arguing ... (read in full...)
Could i be with child?
Q. i had my tubes done may of 99,i had my last period around july 23,for the past few days my breasts have been tender,left side overie pain at times,also queasy at times,not having any cramping or any other signs that my period is coming,could i ...
A. 17 August 2007: Hi Honey,
It could be so many different things! I think that you should take an over-the-counter pregnancy test. Immediately after that, book an appointment with your gynocologist to check things out with your Doctor. Good Luck. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesnt want me to talk to girls - EVER
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for 11 months already (14 of this month, which has just passed), and I truly and deeply love her to death. 5 months into our relationship, I moved from Daly City, CA to Tracy, CA and here's where the problem ...
A. 17 August 2007: Hi,
It sounds like you really adore your girlfriend. She sounds very insecure. Having an unreasonable, jealous partner can be extremely hurtful to a man. Most men feel that their word is their bond, and are wounded if they are taken to task and ... (read in full...)
When women get urine infections is it normal that when they go to the toilet blood comes out when they urinate as well as it hurting as well?
Q. When women get urine infections is it normal that when they go to the toilet blood comes out when they urinate as well as it hurting as well? I know this qestion my sound of putting....
A. 17 August 2007: You can have specks of blood, or urine that is tinged with blood with a urinary tract infection. You need to see your Doctor and get antibiotics to clear it up. The danger is, worst case scenario, you can get a kidney infection if you don't get it ... (read in full...)
What does it mean to be in a commited relationship?
Q. What does it mean to be in a committed rlationship?...
A. 17 August 2007: I sense another question behind this question. No, being in a committed relationship does not mean you have to have sex with your boyfriend. Being in a committed relationship means different things at different ages. At your age, being in a ... (read in full...)
I don't want to tell them how embarrassed I feel about being bound and gagged. How do I get myself out of this funk?
Q. I'm 18, off to college in September, was enjoying a last carefree summer. Last Friday evening my boyfriend dropped me off at home around 10:00 after a date. He works nightshifts at a 24 hour supermarket. My parents were out for the evening and I ...
A. 16 August 2007: Hi Sweetie,
I am so very sorry for what you have gone through. What an absolutely horrible thing. You have nothing to be embarassed about. I am so glad that you were not harmed. You absolutely did the right thing in co-operating and keeping your... (read in full...)
Is it a bad trait?
Q. My boyfriend always wants me to give him head. Is that a bad trait in a man?...
A. 16 August 2007: Most men love this. Is he reciprocating? Are you having as many orgasms as he is? I think you have to decide this between yourselves. I think 50% regular sex and 50% oral isn't an unreasonable conclusion to sexual episodes, but you should be ... (read in full...)
Should I marry my fiance even although I am not in love with him?
Q. Hi, I have been dating my fiance for 1 year and we have just got engaged. He is a very kind, caring and thoughtful guy and would do almost anything for me. I have never been out with anyone who has so wanted to take care of me and thinks of me...
A. 15 August 2007: Marriage is hard enough work when you DO have everything going for you. I can't see this marriage working out for you, for exactly the BIG reason that you have stated - Your heart isn't in it. You are also throwing away the chance of meeting the ... (read in full...)
I need tips on how to look older...
Q. Hey, I need tips on how to look older, I'm going to be 15 in the next few weeks and I look about ten. It's really annoying. I've got chin length dark brown hair. but I'm rather short in height. Is there any way to look older without slapping...
A. 15 August 2007: Hi Again,
I just remembered a few more things. Having the right size and fit is really important too. If your pants drag on the ground, it can give the effect of them simply being too big for you. the same with shirt and jacket sleeves. If you ... (read in full...)
My ex is stalking me
Q. Ok i am 13 and i recently went out with someone in the same yr as me but i dumped him after 2 days. after i kissed him i knew we were'nt right, but now he won't leave me alone. he rings me and says who are you talking to? He even got jealous when i ...
A. 15 August 2007: This has gotten out of control and you need to talk with adults now. You are not ratting him out or being a tattle-tale or any other name that you want to use. You need to tell your parents and tell your teachers today. They are the ones who ... (read in full...)
What is the difference between confidence, over-confidence and arrogance
Q. Hi there Can anyone tell me: What is the difference between confidence, over-confidence and arrogance? How can you tell if a person is over-confident, not just confident? How can you tell when someone is confident and when someone is...
A. 15 August 2007: Confidence is reassuring, over-confidence is unnerving and arrogance is irritating. Confidence in a man is the best aphrodisiac there is, no matter what he does to earn his keep. A man who believes in his own self-worth is worth his weight in ... (read in full...)
I need tips on how to look older...
Q. Hey, I need tips on how to look older, I'm going to be 15 in the next few weeks and I look about ten. It's really annoying. I've got chin length dark brown hair. but I'm rather short in height. Is there any way to look older without slapping...
A. 15 August 2007:
Oops, sorry, I forgot one last thing. I also agree with you, slapping on too much makeup on a young face can have the opposite effect. You should stick with a touch of mascara, lipgloss and powder only. Any heavy eyeshadow would have the effe... (read in full...)
I need tips on how to look older...
Q. Hey, I need tips on how to look older, I'm going to be 15 in the next few weeks and I look about ten. It's really annoying. I've got chin length dark brown hair. but I'm rather short in height. Is there any way to look older without slapping...
A. 15 August 2007: I agree, a really sophisticated haircut helps. If your Mom is agreeable, some highlights or low lights, but I'd stay away from blue or red, that trend could make you look even younger. Wear shoes or boots with a heel, not too tall though - the ... (read in full...)
I am so worn down by my husband (married 14 years) and my life.
Q. I desperately need advice. I am so worn down by my husband (married 14 years) and my life. I feel like he plays mind games with me but I constantly doubt myself because of what he says. He seems to get angry with me when I don't react or do what ...
A. 14 August 2007: Google - family shelter service.org (in the U.S.) and go to the services page. Read the right hand column. Pull up the list for "How to Assess whether or not you a being Abused". His behaviour sounds a bit abusive.
You sound depresse... (read in full...)
I just dont know what i should do, should i marry him?
Q. I'm 18 and last weekend my boyfriend of 3 years asked me to marry him. At the time it seemed perfect - the way he asked, the place, everything he said, but now I had time to think about it and I am not sure I really want to be married so young. I am ...
A. 14 August 2007: Hi,
Uni is a great time to expand your horizons. If you have these kind of doubts BEFORE you marry him, you should put a bit of distance between you and see if the relationship survives. I have a strong feeling that it won't stand the test of time... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a long term relationship? i'm beginning to wonder.
Q. Is there anyone who has been in a successful long-term relationship and is still very much in love? I've been visiting this website long enough to see that it seems like it's almost hopeless for men and women to stay together over the long haul. ...
A. 14 August 2007: Hi
You have to remember that this is the nature of this site, everyone is here to ask for help!
You are simply not seeing the couples that don't need our advice. Most people who are in long term relationships may not need to ask for help ALL... (read in full...)
I live in a town where everyone knows me, and i want to get the pill.
Q. Hey all. ply answer my question. its very important to me. k im 16. me and my bf are having sex. i want to use the pill. whats the posabilitys of getting pregnant with the morning after pill? where can i get it? i live in a small town where every...
A. 13 August 2007: The Birth control pill is for regular, everyday birth control. The Morning after pill is what you in an emergency after having unprotected sex. It is very, very unpleasant and makes you quite ill, but it does work. It is not intended for use as ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and he's 32 and I'm very afraid of hurting cos even though it all sounds fine it's still on internet and he may be "fake" even though I dont think so.
Q. I met a guy on internet just for cybering about a year ago, then I didn't enter for about 10 months, after 10 months I started to enter and blocked all the people except for one in particular. Anyway we started to chat not only cybering, I mean ...
A. 10 August 2007: Hi,
You say that at this point, your heart is involved with this man that you met over the internet. This is a huge age gap, especially considering that you are still in your teens and are probably just going into university. The difference in m... (read in full...)
I am 12 and I want to have sex without being caught
Q. iam 12 and want sex i just moved dont know any body. Who can i have sex with and not get caught?...
A. 9 August 2007: Hi Honey,
I'm so sorry that you are lonely and don't know anyone yet in your new neighbourhood. I don't think that you should even consider having sex with some stranger just because you are lonely. You shouldn't give away your body just to ... (read in full...)
I've changed and nobody understands why.
Q. Ever since I have come back from being away for 2 months, although I knew things would have changed I didnt expect to feel like this. I feel like Im a different person and not many people seem to understand that I am different now. I am more con...
A. 9 August 2007: Hi,
I am probably three times your age, but I have lived many different lives and had many different jobs in many different countries. The hardest thing in life is to be able to accept change and roll with the punches. It is the only thing in life... (read in full...)
I think I'm a sex addict, how can I be sure?
Q. do u think i am sex addict? lol i feel mad stupid sayin dat. but i think about sex like everyday, i masturbate at least once a week, i watch porn, and if i havent had sex longer den a month, i start goin crazy n want so much, sometimes i even cry ...
A. 7 August 2007: You are perfectly normal and have a healthly desire for sex. if you were a sex addict, you would not care very much if you had a condom or not. Most people who are driven by addiction disregard any health risks, so I'd say you have a pretty normal ... (read in full...)
Not a relationship problem, but... my dog has chewed up my home!
Q. Hi Not a relationship problem but an animal problem! Had a cross breed dog for 4 months since she was 9 weeks, she has destroyed my home and garden. Shoes, cushions inards ripped out, you name it, its been eaten. The last straw came yesterda...
A. 6 August 2007: Hi,
You have my sympathies - my puppy is finally a year and a half old and is finally dependable - so I know what you are going through. It is hard to train dogs, they are all different and there are so many different sources of advice. This is w... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: We had over quarter of a million people visit the site over the past month!
Q. Just checking the site stats. We had another milestone... for the first time, in the past 30 days, we had over quarter of a million people visit the site... not 250,000 "hits" or "visits" but actual unique visitors! As counted by Google Anal...
A. 6 August 2007: Congratulations Andrew, Aunties and Uncles on an amazing milestone!... (read in full...)
Don't know if I want my boyfriend moving to my new apartment.
Q. I have been in a relationship for 6 years know, My boyfriend moved in 10 months ago and from the start of the relationship he has had no interest whatsoever in sex, He mentioned he had a breakdown when he was 23 I am wondering if this had anything ...
A. 4 August 2007: Women are born caregivers - it is very easy to fall into the trap of trying to fix someone who needs help. It sounds like he is a very needy individual and if you are not getting along with each other right now the situation is not going to improve ... (read in full...)
Slept with my guy friend! Was I dumb for doing that?
Q. I feel so stupid and I'm hating myself for it...I did something completely out of my standard of thinking. You see, a while back my guy friend and I had sex. What had tùrned into a simple and harmless night of video games...it tùrned into sex. ...
A. 4 August 2007: As far as I know, most guys are gamers! The pothead thing is disturbing, I have known many throughout my life; and it saps your life and ambition unless you can convince him it's a losing situation. Most people give it up at the end of uni or when ... (read in full...)
he is still going out with my best friend and she is in love with him. But he has been talking to me about breaking up with her. What should I do?
Q. I have liked this one guy forever and a few months ago he started going out with my best friend even though he liked and still likes me. He has been calling me a lot lately and we are talking about an hour everyday. It has become very obvious that ...
A. 4 August 2007: I know you will probably not want to hear this, BUT, you are not an impartial third party here. You are asking us for advice, but if you were to read the question back to yourself and insert different names - you would be aware of the fine line ... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to ask her to marry me?
Q. i have been dating my girlfriend for a little more than six months.we both love each other and get along great,and have so much in common.i want to ask her to marry me but is this to soon....
A. 3 August 2007: Hi,
You AND your girlfriend are probably the best judge of whether you should get engaged! It's a good idea to have a long engagement - at least a year. That will give you plenty of time to make wedding plans and future living arrangements. Cong... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong to have a f*** buddy while my girlfriend is out of state?
Q. Is casual sex OK when you love someone else who is not around? My girlfriend took a job that forces her to travel out of state for weeks at a time 90 percent of the time. I love her but dont want to sleep alone. Is it wrong to find a casual sexual ...
A. 3 August 2007: Your girlfriend is lonely and also sleeping alone while she is traveling on business. If you do decide to do this - make sure to tell her and give her the option of comforting herself by sleeping with other men while she travels - if it's okay for ... (read in full...)
I'm heartbroken. He dumped me for his online gf! What can I do?
Q. I have a problem my boyfriend of over 8yrs broke up with me.we have been together since Jan 3rd 1999, and I was his first love,and sex partner.I was his first everything and the first serious relationship.all he said was that you loves me and cares ...
A. 20 July 2007: Hi Honey,
You are so right - you are a great girlfriend. I understand that you are heartbroken and that you are in a great deal of grief and pain over losing him - but from your letter - it doesn't sound like much of a loss. If you read your own ... (read in full...)
What is this spot and is it dangerous?
Q. well hey, my question may seem a bit gross but I need to find out about it. I have this spot, it's down there, and it is soo horrid. It has been there for about a month now and it just gets bigger and bigger. I never gets spots on my face or ...
A. 14 July 2007: Hi Sweetie,
It could be an ingrown hair, it could be a cyst, it could be a boil, it could be a pimple, but the person who can diagnose it and help you get rid of it is your Doctor. The longer you put off going, the more you risk a secondar... (read in full...)
Is it safe to ejaculate more than once in a single condom?
Q. I practice safe sex but I am unsure if it is a good idea to ejaculate more than once in a single condom. That would increase the chance of breakage if I were to do that, right? Thank you for your advice....
A. 2 July 2007: Hi,
Sperm are determined little creatures! Women can become preganant with only the droplets of pre-come during foreplay. Once you ejaculate and become flacid, the sperm can leak around the edges of the condom and escape while you are beco... (read in full...)
I'm 99.9% sure my brother's wife has a thing for one of our friends. Should I confront her while my brother is in basic training??
Q. My brother is in Basic Training for the Army. Before he left, his wife and him were joined together at the hip. Now I've been keeping an eye on her while hes gone. I'm like 99.9% sure shes got a thing for one of our friends, but I don't know what ...
A. 26 June 2007: In every relationship, the woman establishes the boundaries. The reason why they are the rule makers in the relationship is because they are the ones who will become pregnant and have a child to raise if they decide to consumate any relationship. ... (read in full...)
Fidelity and marriage
Q. Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
A. 16 May 2007: Nice Article! Very well said!... (read in full...)
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