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female
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*abyblue
writes: Can someone give me some feedback on what you think about sexual fantasies; I mean from the point of view of a man or a woman thinking of someone else in order to get turned on when making love to their partner?Do you think this is okay?Do you reckon it to be disloyal in some way?Do you think, as I can't help but think, that if you are thinking of someone else while having sex with your partner, that they obviously don't do it for you so perhaps you need to find someone who does?Shouldn't you be thinking of ways and means of turning on your partner when making love and if you are having problems getting turned on, then work together to make it better? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pixeydust  +, writes (25 April 2008):
 If you they are thinking of someone else in your place, I wouldn't say that is good, but I don't think that is what was meant by your question, but by the last answer, that kinda sounds like what was meant. Anyway from the way I took the question you are speaking of a threesome or something like that...if this is what you are speaking of, there is nothing wrong with that from my point of view, many people have these fantasies, they just don't act on it. My boyfriend has this fantasy, but he later says he only wants to be with me, he doesn't want to be with any other women.
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female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (13 March 2007):
 No it is perfectly normal to think of someone else when you are having sex. But if you are doing it everytime and cant get turned on unless you do so then there is a problem. If your partner is unable to turn you on then you need to address this problem. There wouldnt be much point in talking to your partner about this as this could really upset him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007): i believe that if your partner cant turn you on,you have to move on,thankfuly after 3yrs,3months my man still does it for me,and i for him.
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female
reader, SexKitten69  +, writes (13 March 2007):
 Hi,Firstly i don't think it's dis-loyal at all just as long as it is you partner that you want to be with. I sometimes think of Brad Pitt but i'm still married to my hubby!Also men can get turned on from this little fantasy, ask him if there's anyone he'd 'imagine' sleeping with and talk about it when having rude things, i do it all the time and my hubby loves just the thought of it.....
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (13 March 2007):
 It's Okay, it's Normal and EVERYBODY else does it from time to time. It's only a problem if you obsess over one fantasy constantly and it becomes a problem for you. It is not being disloyal unless you are having feelings for someone else constantly and only you know whether or not that is true for you. As long as you still desire your partner, I think that having the occassional fantasy is normal. Men are very visual creatures, so I'm sure they have their fantasies too.
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female
reader, lamo +, writes (13 March 2007):
 spice your sex up. no it not wrong. but it sounds like you dont get turned on coz there is no spice. you dont need to dress up or anything like that if you dont want to but how about massages to get the blood rushing or teasing with a flower or something soft. you just lay on the bed he gets a flower and lighly softly slowly down your face stomache legs whatever. try something new.
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