A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:guys..my bf wants me 2 send him naughty pics. i trust him sooo much but i'm not ready 2 do that jus yet. its not that i feel uncomfortable cos of him.. i just think its kinda gross.but he has sent me stuff and is expecting me to send him.this is not worth breakin up. i love him soo much and i doubt he'd eva pressure me into having sex with him or anything. he just likes his naughty games and stuff.thing is i can be easily convinced. and i think its pretty wrong to send pics like that. i feel as though its porn with me in it.. gross!please help.. how can i tell him in a nice way that i don think its rite .. i dont want him 2 get irritated tho cos he did send of him. just wanna let him know in the best way possible.thanksxx
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female
reader, maruechant  +, writes (9 March 2007):
 I'm glad to hear that both of you are now ok. See? Now you know that he really loves you and he did not actually mean to offend you having that request. It only shows that COMMUNICATION matters in a relationship. Sometimes, men cannot read between the lines and so we have to let them know what "exactly" our feelings. Let us be fair to them as we, females, try to avoid starting up the guessing game :)
hail all sexes!
A
female
reader, maruechant +, writes (9 March 2007):
Giving him naughty pics means you are submitting to his commands and this will only give him an idea that you are also enjoying this kind of stuff. If you will be providing him such pics, what comes next might be that your boyfriend will ask you to do the same thing again and again...or even worse. You don't want that "worse" thing to happen, right (whatever that is)? As a responsible young lady, you tell him what you really feel about his suggestion. Take note: RESPECT must always be at the center of your relationship, and if he really loves, you he will not force you to do the things which you aren't comfortable doing. Speak up girl... you can do it! :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): Indeed.
Some guy posted his ex-girlfriends sex videos up on the old SpikedHumor.com web site before it was transferred over to SpankWire.com - an adult oriented site like YouTube.com. Now wouldn't that just be fantastic if you two broke up and your then ex sends off dozens and dozens of your pics out to his blokes and post them on sites like that?
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (9 March 2007):
 Take everyones advice and dont do it. Boys at that age are not mature enough to handle the responability of keeping intamate photo's. He will without doubt show them to his mates, i can assure you of that. What will they all think of you, that you are some dirty little girl. Rumours will spread and YOU will be hurt.
Just tell him NO, plain and simple. You dont have to sugar coat it. Stand up for yourelf and he will have more respect for you in the end. If he loves you, he will except that you find this repulsive and are not willing to go down that road.
It will be the worse thing that you ever do, if you give in to his demands and agree to this.
Take care little one.XX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwow thanks so much! i spoke to him.. i told him i dont wanna send anything. he was totally undersatndable and couldnt stop saying sorry and told me he wasnt forcing me into anything. so thank gosh! he does respect me and i respect myself not 2 send pics like that. especially when i'm only turning 16 in a few months. thanksxx
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A
female
reader, Bella55 +, writes (9 March 2007):
Excuse my language, didnt realise you were so young. Dont do it, do you love him more than yourself? dont think so, its impossible at your age.
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A
female
reader, Bella55 +, writes (9 March 2007):
You dont have to do anything youre not comfortable with. Tell him that you are not interested in porn, its normal a lot of people are not comfortable with porno stuff. Dont be ashamed or scared to stand up for yourself. This is sick, and if he wants to break up with you because of it, tell him to F**CK OFF! This is not on, and he is abusing your morals and your self-respect! Throw him in the bin!
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 There are lots of sex games to play between two consenting adults. You are NOT two consenting adults. You are too young to let this guy manipulate you into doing things that you are uncomfortable with. Do not do this to impress or please your boyfriend. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! Once those photos are out of your hands, they are out there forever. If you two split up, he can do anything he likes with the photos, impress his friends or post them on the internet. NEVER let someone BULLY you do something that you are not comfortable with. Who cares if he sent a picture of himself, he only did it to BLACKMAIL you into doing the same thing, which is WHY HE SENT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. Do you always have to do what he says because he will get irritated? If so, you need to get a new boyfriend, sorry to be blunt. Please stand up for yourself and don't let boys take advantage of you.
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A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (8 March 2007):
I doubt you asked him to send you rude pictures of him, did you? He sent them without you wanting them. So you certainly don't owe him any pictures in return.
Rude pictures will objectify you. You rightly suggest that sending him rude pictures will make you like a porn model - does he want to be going out with a porn model, or does he want a meaningful relationship with a real person?
Just say something like "I really don't want to send you any rude pictures of me. I don't want you to see me as purely a sexual object, I want you to know the real me. I didn't want the ones you sent me and I have deleted them. Can we leave it at that please? "
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A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 Have you thought about what he could do with those pictures,it doesnt even bare thinking about. This is a very bad idea so dont even consider it. He is wrong to ask you to do this. You have to stand up for yourself and say no. I cant and wont do it. If he loves you he will understand and respect your feelings but if he doesnt let go of the idea then its time to say goodbye. If you give in to him what would he want you to do next. It just isnt worth it respect yourself and your body.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (8 March 2007):
 If you have any respect for yourself whatsoever then you will NOT do this! What happens when you break up with him and he plasters these pictures all over the net? Of course he says he won't do this, they all say that! If he wants to send you his bits then that's fine, you never asked him to, he offered! Tell him you could NEVER do that for anyone (yes not even him). You'll get... "if you loved me you would..." or "if you don't I'll dump you..." SO WHAT!!!! If he says either of these two things he's a sleazeball and should be dumped anyway.
Tell him NO WAY!!!!! End of subject!
Eve
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (8 March 2007):
 At your age you shouldn't be sending those sort of pics to anyone - or at any age for that matter. Basically this is not just about morality but it is about you losing control over what can happen to that material when you break up or have an argument...you don't want his friends seeing those pics do you? Basically he wants you to send those sorts of pics so he can show his mates to imply he is having a sexual relationship with you (peer pressure!). Don't get used for entertainment purposes and don't feel bad about saying no. You have every right to be respected by your BF and part of that respect is that he just accepts that no means no! If he cannot handle 'no' then let him go and find someone who has different views.
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