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| | *omewhat_anonymous's profile:No Nonsense, No Sugar-coating:
A straightforward FAQ
Q: Should I have an affair?
A: Absolutely not, I wish Jerry Springer was popular again so you'd know why and I'd see this question less than three times a day. No, don't say, "but..." the answer is still "NO" and you know it. NO! NEVER DO IT!
Q: Is my penis big enough? Why does it look different?
A: An average penis is 5-7 inches. Less than that can still do the job and if you are worried, use something besides what is between your legs. And if everyone has a different face, why would genitals be different in this aspect? They come in different shapes and sizes, so you're probably normal. Same with vaginas.
Q: We had unprotected sex, but he pulled out before he had an orgasm, how did I become pregnant?
A: Um, when did they stop teaching Sex Ed? Just because he didn't shoot, doesn't mean his dribbling precum didn't have sperm. It only takes one of his little tadpoles to swim across the finish line.
Q: Dude, my sister is so hot, should I ask her to have sex with me?
A: HELLS NAW! That's called incest and it is illegal. If you have a kid, he/she would probably be retarded or genetically defective in some way. You are only hot for her because she is the female closest to you.
Q: I'm 40 and want to date this 11 year old. Is this okay?
A: No, that is disgusting, you're a pedophile, get help.
Q: My significant other abuses me physically and/or emotionally and I want to stay, how do I go about this?
A: Leave. Leave him/her right now. You know those women on Oprah that you'd say are crazy for staying with the wifebeater? Well, that's you. Stand up for yourself, don't be a doormat, and walk.
Q: Everything is going great, why do I want to leave him/her?
A: Remember the first Matrix movie? The main agent said that the original Matrix design was a world with no pain or consequence. The human mind could not accept this and everyone woke up. It didn't work until pain and consequence were introduced. Think on that. There is much truth to reality. Other than that, you may have a fear of success, or be seeking a challenge. Americans do well under stress, we are used to it. We don't know how to handle things when they go well, much like a child doesn't know how to handle freedom.
Q; I'm a pregnant teen and don't know if I should keep this baby or tell anyone.
A: We'll I don't have a definitive answer, but let's hope this helps. First, I don't see how you will keep it from your parents at your age. Your best bet is to be honest and tell them right now. If you are worried that your entire life will stop and you'll drop out, let me hopefully provide you with inspiration. I have a female co-worker, she got pregnant when she was 16. She kept the baby and finished high school ON TIME and in mostly HONORS CLASSES! She finished college on time. She is now a teacher in her mid 20's with three kids and a husband that is the father of all three kids. She is finishing up her masters degree and she always has enough money to go on vacation, even though her husband works part-time and is going to school. Of course this is not the norm and it takes a supportive family/families and the guy has to be there too, but it is not impossible! NEVER have an abortion just because the guy threatens to leave. On top of that, a lot of young mothers are worried until the baby is born and would have regretted the decision to have an abortion. for more inspiration on this matter look at this: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/for-all-young-women.html
Other people on this site that are very helpful that you can trust:
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/frank_b_kermit
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/flower_girl
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/birdynumnums |
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How do I ask my cousin to have sex with me?
Q. Hi, I've been wanting to have sex with my cousin and I want to ask her, but I'm not sure if she feels the same way. I feel she does sometimes and then I feel it hard to ask her. How do I know she wants to? How do I ask her? Thanks for a...
A. 14 October 2007: I think we're all in the majority when we say don't do it. Your sexual urges are natural, but you must realize what kinds of lasting effects might come out of this all because of one moment in your life. It can cause a large rift in your family, ... (read in full...)
I think I picked the wrong courses. What to do now?
Q. dear cupid, I need some help. I am in first year at university and I originally got into a language course last month. I liked this as I enjoy languages however my original first choice was primary teaching. when I got offered this in the second ...
A. 14 October 2007: You could talk to an advisor and get it changed, although three weeks in might be too late. Here in the states it usually is.
Overall I agree with baybee-x-sparki. I don't know what it is like where you are, but here you can get the certific... (read in full...)
I look too young...
Q. i am 14 5'2 and i look about 12 i hate looking younger i realy want to look my age or older i have been told i am pretty which is nice but all i want to do is look older what make-up can i wear to make me look older (without making me look like a ...
A. 13 October 2007: Honestly, there isn't too much of a difference between 12 and 14. And even then, there is a large range of what looks normal. Do you think you look too young, or has someone else told you this?
On top of that, most girls that look a lot younger ... (read in full...)
Shall I keep ignoring my coworker's gossip or go to my boss and report this?
Q. hello dear cupid and to all of you, i just really need help veeeeeeeery much. i am working at hotel. i have this co"workers of mine who like gossip so much, everytime she is talking to our guest she always tell them bad things about me" and not only ...
A. 13 October 2007: I would go to the boss, but show solidarity by having everyone she talks about go to the boss. This is slander and harassment. She has no right to do this and RCN is right, customers are probably being turned away as a whole and possibly you are ... (read in full...)
I started kissing randomly a female-friend, another friend walked in on us. She swore she wouldn't tell, how do I make sure I can trust her?
Q. i am very interested in men... but i had a few friends sleeping over and we drunk alot of alcohol, and me and a close friend started kissing randomly i have never done this before, and i was not at all interested in my friend that way. however ...
A. 13 October 2007: If she is a good friend, she'll keep it a secret. You cannot make sure she won't tell though. Even if word gets out, don't worry. To some guys your age, that is probably a turn on.... (read in full...)
Is he interested?
Q. hi i just wanted some help im trying to figure out if a guy likes me. i go to university with him basically in lectures he always sits near me and my friends most of the time he is directly behind me. he also touches me like he will grab my arm when ...
A. 13 October 2007: He probably likes you. Although it seems weird that he might walk up to you and touch your face. He might not ask for your number because that would make it obvious. He could be getting your friends' numbers as a bridge to get to you. ... (read in full...)
How to tell him I want more than secret text love?
Q. this is realy complicated so i am going to try my best to explain.... i live in a pub and get along realy well with a certain customer who is nine years older than me, about two month ago we were talking over the computer and he told me that he ...
A. 13 October 2007: You have a right to want more than a text relationship. Seriously, what good will that do either of you? You must realize that you are your own person and he is his own person and should not have family politics ruling a relationship.
Here ... (read in full...)
She flies off the handle - what can I do?
Q. i am involved with a divorced woman from the usa ... and we have agreed to get married, though we only converse via msn and telephone. for some reason, she tells me that we must wait 9 months before we can actually meet in person. moreover, there is ...
A. 13 October 2007: End this. End it now. She's getting on your case and you haven't even physically met. Even if she does have you in her future plans, she seems messed up already and you're supposed to keep your life on hold for nine months while she does God ... (read in full...)
My fiancee has an overwhelming fear of not being accepted by my family, is this icommon for girls getting married and what can I do to help?
Q. My fiancee has an overwhelming fear of not being accepted by my family members and she finds it hard to trust me, rely on me to sort things out for her. I feel anxious myself because of her situation as i deeply care for her and want her to pass ...
A. 13 October 2007: Some people feel like they have to impress and act a certain way 24/7. Usually the females hold onto this fear, and in reality the guys seem to be the ones rejected by her family. It is an odd dynamic.
Perhaps she has been rejected by families... (read in full...)
Is tall and short a good mix?
Q. I was just wondering on a few issues and need clarity. First of all how long should a guy last each round before ejaculating? Does is it mean that when your lady's not moaning during sex, you are not man enouugh? Is it true that body height i...
A. 13 October 2007: I agree with all that is said. I am guessing that things aren't going as smoothly as you like in that department with your questioning and you don't know how to go about assessing it. I have to think something else is going on there mentally with ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong? Friends, Weddings, and Unreturned Phonecalls...
Q. Hi Everybody, I need to get the take of people I don't personally know on this situation. I live by two simple rules. Don't pursue a woman that's taken and don't show up uninvited. On short notice, a female friend of mine (who I've known m...
A. 13 October 2007: Thanks to all of you for the replies. RCN, always a pleasure, Baby Duck, good call on the drama queen factor, now that you mention it, she seems to be a "quiet" drama queen. How's that for an oxymoron?
To the anonymous one, you are right. ... (read in full...)
He said he didn't like me, but keeps looking at me...
Q. i sent this new guy on my bus a note saying i liked him but he cheked that he didnt like me. but he also keeps looking at me. does this mean he still likes me? if he does y would he do that?...
A. 13 October 2007: He might have said no because he is embarrassed to say yes or because he is playing a game. Or he might have said no because he never really thought about it, but now that he knows he has your attention, you now have his and he is rethinking it. ... (read in full...)
Huh?
Q. what does my bf mean when he calls me boo and his perfect 10 ...
A. 13 October 2007: In American street language, some girls call their boyfriend their "boo" and perfect 10 means on a scale of 1-10, you're a 10.... (read in full...)
What is anal sex?
Q. what is anal sex?...
A. 13 October 2007: Yes, I also find it amazing that out of all the sites he could have consulted, he came to this one in particular. How strange. ... (read in full...)
Since he married me, he doesn't seem to consider my needs in the bedroom. What can I do?
Q. I was recently married 4 weeks ago and our sex life has gone down hill. Since I said I do the sex lasts about 30 seconds and he doesnt care about my needs. I have told him that I have needs to. So he says we will have to have sex twice. After the ...
A. 13 October 2007: Sex is about more than one person, how selfish of him. Even if he couldn't/didn't hold it for more than 30 seconds, he still should be considerate and finish the job using something other than his penis. In fact, he could do something else while ... (read in full...)
She brings her friends along on dates... !
Q. Hi there, Me and my girlfreind have been going out for 8 months she is still in school and im in college. We dont get to meet each other much anymore. We probably meet up once a week and when I do arrange to meet up she always fetches her frei...
A. 4 October 2007: You are going to do the hard thing that you don't want to do, which is talk to her about it. Sit her down and let her know how you feel. I mean, if you don't get to see her much as it is, it is not unreasonable to want to see her and her only at ... (read in full...)
Am I dumb to believe that my husband had a condom in his wallet because he uses them "to masturbate" with??
Q. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. We have a two dear old daughter and I am six months pregnant. We have defiently had some rough patches and I am some infedielty fears from a previous relationship. I have accused him of cheating ...
A. 4 October 2007: Some guys do use them to masturbate, but yeah, when would he have time? And why this time only? Although I guess the use of condoms to masturbate is for those times you don't want to clean up, so doing it with little time makes sense.
It is... (read in full...)
I'm crazy about my teacher! He's off limits, I know, how do I deal with this?
Q. I need help :( Okay so im crazy about this man :'( but he is out of bounds, he is my teacher :S he is always so nice to me and flirts with me and knows what im scared of and he calls me nicknames and always says im his star pupil... he has ...
A. 4 October 2007: You are right that you cannot have him. You tried doing the opposite and annoyed him, that's not the way to go either. Getting him mad isn't a step in the right direction, although if he did have any interest in you, you might have begun making ... (read in full...)
He treat me and my cats like crap! Stay or Leave?
Q. hi i have asked a question about my bf before, as he always goes to the gym and comes home late all week, and now he upsets my pet cats to get at me, my 3 cats are rescued house cats and are very spoilt and mean the world to me, my bf will lift them ...
A. 4 October 2007: Drastic Knowledge is correct. You are stuck in a rut because you both are really immature, at least from your description, and are getting on each other's nerves. Maybe that's why he's at the gym all the time. Otherwise, you might have been ... (read in full...)
If I do the bad guy thing
Q. I am 21 soon id like to think I know a bit since I had a crap life my girlfriend cheated on me and I gave her a 2nd chance and she cheated on me with 2 guys at the same time why do things like this happen to nice guys. Well I don’t think I am a ...
A. 29 September 2007: I am basically here to back up RCN. He's always got good advice and this is not different.
You could try the bad guy thing, but realize that if it isn't you, it will fail in the end. You can only fake it for so long and if that is what she... (read in full...)
He's already come out and practically said "I love you" to me and it's only been a week.
Q. He's already come out and practically said "I love you" to me and it's only been a week. We've only been on one date and talked between classes a couple times. I'm a little freaked out by the whole situation, but it's rare that anyone takes notice ...
A. 22 September 2007: He sounds like a lot of people on here claiming they're in love with a person they just met an hour ago. This could mean he is needy, overbearing, or downright annoying. These situations usually fall aprt even quicker than they started. The only ... (read in full...)
Is it that guys want to be treated badly and unappreciative of the women nowadays? Am I mistaken in something?
Q. How to approah any relationship with people (males in this case) not whole hearthedtly?dear cupid here is my prolme. I'm 24,look pretty attractive, I work/ed on myself a lot, spiritually, intellectualy and physicaly. I'm introvert but mostly I'm ...
A. 22 September 2007: It is as you said, he has taken advantage of that fact that you are so giving. It is the same with most things. Say you knew that at the end of this week you'd make the same amount of money at work and you'd still have a job if you had terrible ... (read in full...)
Are we compatible?
Q. He was born May 4th 1961. I was born on April 30th 1959. Could we be together?...
A. 22 September 2007: Uh, you'll have to give us more. If you are worried about yourself being about 2 years older than him, I'd have to tell you you're being silly. ... (read in full...)
He wants me back, what should I do?
Q. HELPPPPPPP I went out with this boy for over a year and we got on soo welll! Then we broke up and i fancyed him soo bad! Ovber the summer he wodnt see me n was alwys jellousing me and telling me to get over his.. making me look like a mug.. ect! So ...
A. 19 September 2007: I'm saying forget the old times and enjoy a new start. He broke up with you and he remained stern in his decision when you wanted him back. Now he wants you back and is making you feel guilty if you say no? That is crap, you can't give in to ... (read in full...)
He's too controlling, but I don't know what to do!
Q. Hi everyone. I really need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for a year, but the past 7 or 8 months he hasnt trusted me 1 bit. I cant even go into town shopping with a friend without him texting asking who im with, what im doing, and ...
A. 19 September 2007: You love him, but trust is a big part of a relationship. If he loved you, he wouldn't say all those stupid things and he also wouldn't make threats to reveal things to your family. If one of your main reasons is you're afraid he'll kill himself, ... (read in full...)
He's leaving, but I need him...
Q. Help! I Love this boy but he's 16, hes going to be leaving my school in a few months, im 14, but i really love him, ive told him how i feel but he didnt take it serious i told him online n he just said ' aww cute lol hehe' please i really need him, ...
A. 19 September 2007: Those are just hormones, you don't really love him since you don't really know him. On top of that your pressures at home are leading you to look for an escape, which means it is intensifying those feelings for him.
Yes, it might help having h... (read in full...)
Help me, I haven't bounced back after two years!
Q. Hoping someone can help here. I was with my boyfriend for eight years and we lived together for six years. He moved out a couple of years ago and want back to his hometown. He kept telling me that I was the nicest person he knew but he was not in ...
A. 19 September 2007: I am sure you're very attractive, but you probably look a bit sad, which is true, you are a bit sad. It has been two years and you've been feeling down thw whole time. It takes a toll.
It sounds like the break up really gave you a bruised ... (read in full...)
Have I ruined it already?
Q. I am just ending an abusive relationship of almost three years and I've spend some time with a coworker of mine. We ended up having sex after only hanging out a couple times, which is isn't like me but I am wondering what he thinks of me for giving ...
A. 19 September 2007: There is a chance it is ruined, but I doubt it. If anything, you probably just opened up some possibilities. You'll never know unless you ask, which isn't easy, but the answer to about 80-90% of all questions asked on this site. In either case, ... (read in full...)
I love her, but can't trust her...
Q. I'm totally stuck in my relationship. I love my girlfriend so much and she loves me but I can't trust her at all. Things are ok now, but last August/September we went out on three nights out and on each of them we came back seperatly. The first ...
A. 19 September 2007: You are right to feel hurt. Her "it was a year ago" is a cop out reply. It is new to you, and she knows she should not have done it.
You can't trust her. How do you know she's truthful to you now about being loyal to you now? You don't an... (read in full...)
I want her, but can't have her. I have ethics, but they are weakening. Please advise.
Q. She is with a buddy of mine. It was love at first sight, atleast for me, she compliments me completely. It is against my ethics to break up a relationship, even if she is my one and only, plus she has too much integrity to leave one man for another ...
A. 19 September 2007: Good luck, but I must also say to you that many of us have said and will say that we have found the most compatible one or soulmate, only to be completely wrong.
Realize that you must wait until their relationship ends, but also realize that you... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid?
Q. Am I being stupid? I have a great wife, who is a great mother with our children and in 12 years we have never had bad problems. My problem is that she had a couple of relationships in high school and as she says she was "forced to have sex". ...
A. 19 September 2007: Look dude, we're all telling you the same thing, but you don't seem to want to listen. There are one of two things going on here.
a) It absolutely happened the way she said it did. And what she needs is you to be understanding and professi... (read in full...)
What are the chances that I may be preganant?
Q. i really need some help i know it was stupid but ok my boyfriend and i had sex for the first time yesterday we did it twice the first time with a condom then the second time to be able to get deeper we didnt and he came just as he pulled out so how ...
A. 16 September 2007: In any case there is a chance you could be pregnant, but if he started to drip right after he pulles out, how do you know he didn't acidentally start dripping right before he pulled out? This could definitely increase the chance.... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him for getting with someone else when we broke up!?
Q. Hey guys, So i just broke up with my ex 5 days ago and last night he made ou with some exchange student hes always telling me that he loves me and i love him soo much too!! Should i forget it happen and forgive him or give him hell for it for...
A. 16 September 2007: I'm agreeing 100% with happytochat and Phil. There is no two week rule. You broke up, it was over to him so he got with whomever he wanted to. He was covering the pain of losing you.
So if you love him and he loves you, why did you end it i... (read in full...)
If it's true he hates me (as he tells other people) why does he get with me when drunk?
Q. Theres this guy I like, I've liked him for over 2 years now. At one point about a year and a half ago he was interested for a few months, but nothing ever happened coz my mate liked him too, at this point I was 14 and he was 16. Now I'm 16 and he's ...
A. 16 September 2007: He could be saying he hates you because he was interested and he felt you weren't in the past and still like you. He might actually hate you, but find you attractive, so drunkenness can hold back those inhibitions. People also could be lying about ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with the new teacher, he dropped loads of hints and kissed me at lunch. What if the school finds out?
Q. a new teacher started working at my school about 1 year ago. even since he first spoke to me, i have fallen for him. (i know i must sound crazy but i really do like him!) the thing is, he has started liking me back! he has dropped loads of hint...
A. 16 September 2007: Yeah, everything everyone else has said so far is right, I can only add that this guy should not even be teaching. If it isn't you he's doing this to, it will probably be another student later.
The problem is that if you do not reciproc... (read in full...)
I have a discharge...
Q. do guys like it while they are fingereing a girl if they have alot of discharge? and idk whether to shave or trim my pubes...
A. 16 September 2007: Discharge? Some guys love it when a girl can squirt, and some don't care and some don't like it. It is just one of those things that not every girl can do and meets mixed reactions. Some guys get obsessed with it and would want you to shoot every ... (read in full...)
All of a sudden he wanted space after 3 years, is it over?
Q. I was living with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and all of a sudden he wanted space, so i moved out. Two weeks later he said that it was best that we weren't together. We have an awesome relationship and get along great and talked about the ...
A. 16 September 2007: It sure looks over, but you never know. How long has it been since you spoke to him? Tell him you need an answer. If it is over, you need to know so you can move on and you deserve an answer.
It is possible that he got scared, but rarely d... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid?
Q. Am I being stupid? I have a great wife, who is a great mother with our children and in 12 years we have never had bad problems. My problem is that she had a couple of relationships in high school and as she says she was "forced to have sex". ...
A. 16 September 2007: It actually sounds like rape, but from this many people and many times, I kind of doubt it.
And why are you treating her badly over this? For twelve years she's been a great wife and mother. If she had sex before you two had a relation... (read in full...)
Stop me!
Q. Help! someone talk some sense into me! Its 2am in the morning, i feel lonely and need a hug.Ive hurt my back ,so didnt go clubbing.I'm tempted to phone my ex-boyfriend and ask him round for a cuddle. This is a bad idea as in the past he abuses t...
A. 16 September 2007: It seems like you already have all the reasons not to call him up, but need someone to actually tell you not to do it.
Trust yourself since you already know what to do and have some willpower. It's a lot better than asking a bunch of random p... (read in full...)
What is he thinking? He says he's impressed with my maturity and enjoys our conversations.
Q. What is he thinking? Please analyze this with me and offer your opinions and suggestions. Thank you! I met a man who is ten years older than me (I am 25 years old) on an internet network about four months ago. We have been exchanging email...
A. 16 September 2007: As paranoid as 88jane's post seems those are always chances. Online dating isn't the good idea it seems to be. A lot of people that are on there end up there because they can't handle a relationship and thinks this will save them part of the ... (read in full...)
I want her, but can't have her. I have ethics, but they are weakening. Please advise.
Q. She is with a buddy of mine. It was love at first sight, atleast for me, she compliments me completely. It is against my ethics to break up a relationship, even if she is my one and only, plus she has too much integrity to leave one man for another ...
A. 16 September 2007: Been in that situation many of times. You know what you must do. You must wait. It is hard, but you say he is an idiot and will probably lose her anyway. She may just come running to you. Or you may have to make the effort after it happens. ... (read in full...)
What are the chances that I may be preganant?
Q. i really need some help i know it was stupid but ok my boyfriend and i had sex for the first time yesterday we did it twice the first time with a condom then the second time to be able to get deeper we didnt and he came just as he pulled out so how ...
A. 16 September 2007: Pretty much exactly what RCN says. A condom is so thin, it doesn't really help him get deeper. The only thing I can add is asking how long after the first time was the second time? Was it soon, and did he clean himself? You may have just ... (read in full...)
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