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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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Did I deceive him??
Q. I have been married for several years and my relationship with my husband has become like a boarder/room mate kind. We used to be so close and go to church together but now, I, like him have back slided and don't attend church. I try to pass the...
A. 8 December 2007: You did not deceive him. He knew you were married. ... (read in full...)
Did I deceive him??
Q. I have been married for several years and my relationship with my husband has become like a boarder/room mate kind. We used to be so close and go to church together but now, I, like him have back slided and don't attend church. I try to pass the...
A. 7 December 2007: Hi Dear Poster,
I'm not quite sure that I understand which "He". Are you talking about your ex-lover or your husband?... (read in full...)
Are there any other signs of pregnancy apart from morning sickness? Like feelings, emotions and moods?
Q. Okay, me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 and half months. I'm 15 turning 16 in January and he's a year younger than me. We really love each other and would do anything for each other. So about a month ago we decided to have sex, well try...
A. 3 December 2007: Take an over-the-counter test if you are freaking out. Read the directions and follow them carefully. The moody part of pregnancy comes much later on when you are fully pregnant and uncomfortable. Talk with your Mom about getting that test and ... (read in full...)
Can a dildo break your hymen??
Q. Is it possible to lose your hymen with a dildo? If so, how can you tell if you've lost it? This weekend was my first time using a dildo, and I bled. I'm not sure if I a) lost my hymen b) caused my cervix to bleed c) caused some other area in there ...
A. 3 December 2007: The hymen, as you know, is simply a thin membrane. You probably did tear it when you used a dildo, which would pretty much do the same thing as any penis would. Your virginity is not determined by how intact your hymen is (many girls have no ... (read in full...)
Poll question. How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Q. Hey would like to know how old were you when you lost your virginity and also did you tell your parents about it or not till later? How were you sure it was the right person?...
A. 3 December 2007: Rockin' my husbands world since 1973! We we 18 and 19. By the way, most parents will have figured it out whether you have told them or not...... (read in full...)
My wife has given me permission to have a sex buddy....is it a bad idea??
Q. My 46 year old wife is going through the menopause and has lost her sex drive to the point she has no desire for me or any other man on earth. I asked her to use her hand or to give me oral sex and she refused. She told me to find a woman that is ...
A. 3 December 2007: Ditto to what everyone else has said. I think your wife could be depressed. It's not easy to accept the changes that go along with menopause, and she needs your help. Having been life-long partneres, she needs you more than ever now. There are ... (read in full...)
My mum is dying but my aunt is acting like she is already dead.
Q. My mum was diagnosed with a terminal brain cancer in March and she is now getting worst. It has been a very tough time for the family since the diagnosis and it has not helped the way her sister (my aunt) has been acting since then. The doctors sa...
A. 2 December 2007: I am so sorry. My brother is waiting for an operation right now, also brain cancer. Our Dad passed away two months ago, without a will. The will my mother did have was not witnessed. This has caused a lot of worry, on top of all of the grief ... (read in full...)
My dreams end with strange deaths, of animals. Is this bad or dangerous?
Q. Dear All, I seem to be reading an awful lot these days and I keep reading til really late but I find it difficault to sleep even then - I've never fallen asleep with a book in my hand- but never really know when I fall asleep, because my clock is...
A. 2 December 2007: Dreaming about death usually symbolizes major change, a movement from one phase of your life to another. This is from a book by Joules Taylor; The Dream Decoder. Considering you are leaving childhood and becoming a women soon, it sounds pretty ... (read in full...)
How can I confirm to his wife he is having an affair with me without anybody knowing it came from me?
Q. I am having an affair with a married man who doesn't love his wife any more but loves his children. He thinks he needs to stay in the marraiage just 4 the kids. His wife thinks he is having an affair and asks if he his having an affair but he won't...
A. 2 December 2007: If his wife has already suspected him of an affair (which means she knows), and hasn't left him, what good would confirming the affair do? She apparently accepts that he is unfaithful and he, as he has told you, wants to stay with his children. ... (read in full...)
Do you divorce someone you 'will always love'?
Q. I'm a 28 year old single guy, who has been seeing a married woman for the better part of a year. She first admitted having a romantic interest in me, and made it clear at that time, that her marriage had failed, and was on the way out the door. ...
A. 2 December 2007: Best to walk away and not contact her. I don't see her making a decision if she hasn't made one already, after this length of time. It might force her hand and make her decide, once and for all. But be prepared to walk away and leave her ... (read in full...)
I am really worried about my bf seeing me naked. Should I diet??
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a 16-year-old girl and I'm having some issues. I have a lovely boyfriend, who is 6ft2 and absolutely gorgeous with an amazing body. Now I'm only 5ft2 and kinda chubby, which makes me feel really awful cause he's very concious about ...
A. 2 December 2007: Hi Sweetie,
Don't worry, he chose You! Most guys really aren't that impressed by skinny, most guys like a little something to hang on to. But If you aren't comfortable enough for him to see you naked, maybe it's not quite time yet? You're stil... (read in full...)
What makes a man choose one women over another??
Q. As a woman, it may seem strange to pose this question, but here goes. Suppose a man is torn between two women, both of whom he likes and even loves and appreciates in different ways. What would make up his decision to go for one or the other? (...
A. 2 December 2007: After perusing your question, this was the only thing that was obvious -
Is he the prize? Hmmmm...
Asking why women get so jealous while baiting two women against each other - sounds like a catch. I think you have a winner there. (In a do... (read in full...)
Condoms really hurt me, is this normal??
Q. My problem is that when me and my boyfriend use condoms, they really hurt me. Extra fine ones don't seem to, but I'm worried about them ripping or something. Please tell me: 1. If this is normal 2. If it's happened to you 3. The reason for it 4....
A. 2 December 2007: Condoms tend to need more lubrication. Astro-glide is a great lube, and it doesn't stain clothes or sheets.... (read in full...)
Had unprotected sex 9 days ago, my period was due 6 days ago. Is it too soon for a pregnancy test?
Q. 9 days ago I had unprotected sex...(ther only time i'm ever had unprotected before)..my period was due 6 days ago...it STILL hasnt come on...I'm really worried as i've never been late before. I want to take a test on monday but will it be soo soon ...
A. 1 December 2007: Most of the over-the-counter tests are strong enough to determine after that length of time. Just make sure to follow the directions. It's better to use the urine from your first pee in the morning, there is a stranger concentration of HGH in it, ... (read in full...)
Did I deceive him??
Q. I have been married for several years and my relationship with my husband has become like a boarder/room mate kind. We used to be so close and go to church together but now, I, like him have back slided and don't attend church. I try to pass the...
A. 1 December 2007: The only way that you can stop him from exposing you is to beat him to the punch. Tell your husband and beg his forgiveness. If your husband truly loves you he will find a way to forgive you. This cowardly man that you were involved with has his ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to ask a guy out??
Q. Is it wrong to ask a guy to go out with you or should you just keep it old fashioned? ...
A. 30 November 2007: Guys are just as anxious and afraid to ask girls out. They are usually quite pleased when a girl sticks her neck out first. These days it's perfectly fine, so whay not take advantage of it?... (read in full...)
Should I go out with him... ? Because *I'm* not that much of a freak!
Q. im popular and so is this boy that likes me. but he likes to do freaky things with his girlfriends. i would kiss him and dub him but i might not do the things his other girlfriends have. should i go out with him and stay shy? dont go out with him? ...
A. 30 November 2007: Well, you already know what to expect from this guy, so at least you are going in with your eyes open. Does he know what to expect from you? Feel free to date him, but TELL HIM what you will and won't do when you get together. It's not just up to ... (read in full...)
I'm 21, she's 17... Is this too much of a difference?
Q. im 21 and thinking of asking a girl out thats 17. is that too young? opinions please....
A. 30 November 2007: I don't know the law in Britain as far as a sexual relationship goes, but I think you are probably getting to the stage where it would be possible to have a meeting of the minds, if she is mature for her age (and most girls are). Sounds feasible. ... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as destiny? For everyone?
Q. hi guys..............is there such thing as destiny??? Is there someone for everyone out there???...
A. 30 November 2007: I prefer the line from "Back to the Future", and say it to my husband all the time - "You are my Density". But, seriously, I believe in Fate and Karma, so I guess I believe in Destiny too. How it's applied to "The One"... Not too sure about that. ... (read in full...)
How long will a "cheap" treadmill last?
Q. I was just wondering, how long will a fold up cheap, $100 treadmill last if I use it for maybe two or three hours a day? Will it get worn out really quickly? I need to know as my last on broke that was expensive and I need a new one, but my parents ...
A. 30 November 2007: Two or three hours a day is a bit excessive. You only need 20 minutes of cardio, but most keeners do 45-60. The most important part of a good work-out is weight-bearing excercise. Having all your muscles working is what burns calories. Are you ... (read in full...)
Did I offend him?
Q. Lately I've been baking a lot and I take some of the cookies and stuff to church. I gave some of the cookies to this guy and later he came over while I was talking to my friend to say thanks. I wasn't really paying attention and I quickly brushe...
A. 30 November 2007: Yep. Although you didn't mean to, you were a bit brusk with him. His awkward "You seem to have a lot of free time" was a clumsy attempt at flirting (if he's roughly in the same age bracket) and I would have been taken aback a bit too. Never mind, ... (read in full...)
A neighbour changing in view of my wife and I!!!
Q. Hi Over the past few weeks our neighbour has been putting on a show in their bed room. What I mean by this is, she get undressed and gets changed without drawing the blinds. My wife and I can see all this from our lounge room if we have our blin...
A. 30 November 2007: Get your wife to talk to her. She may well not be aware that you can see her. If the floor show contiues afterwards, she is an exhibitionist and is doing is for her own tittilation (excuse the pun). You can choose to involve the police (if there ... (read in full...)
I think I may be pregnant. When I have my period it is barely even a full day. Help, please.
Q. i still have a feeling im pregnant. and when i have my period its barely even a full day. i havnt taken a pregnancy test yet. and i was hinting to my mom about pregnancy and she told me if i was pregnant she would kill me.. hm. this time my n...
A. 30 November 2007: Hi Sweetie,
If you have had sex, if you used a condom and it broke, or if he came inside you without a condom, sure - you could be pregnant. It's hard to tell from one symptom. The best thing to do is get a drugstore pregnancy kit and follow t... (read in full...)
Never had a good relationship, except my friendship with him. Should I accept his proposal of living together? I love him.
Q. I'm in my 20s and I had a really unsettled childhood. I experimented with drugs and drink from when I was very young and I had a on-enight-stand when i was 15 and fell pregnant with my daughter. I ended up vry deep into drugs, seriously addicted...
A. 29 November 2007:
It sounds like you have had a hard time with everything. Don't give up. I am a "visual learner" too, so I know that there are ways to move forward. If you had the idea and loved tatooes, why not apply to a shop? My dad started out sweeping the ... (read in full...)
Never had a good relationship, except my friendship with him. Should I accept his proposal of living together? I love him.
Q. I'm in my 20s and I had a really unsettled childhood. I experimented with drugs and drink from when I was very young and I had a on-enight-stand when i was 15 and fell pregnant with my daughter. I ended up vry deep into drugs, seriously addicted...
A. 28 November 2007: You are two years clean. Did you go to AA or another group? I think that they all say you can get involved after one year clean and sober.
But - You sound like you think that things are not going to work out between you already, even if you d... (read in full...)
I'm dumping him, but I'm scared of being single... what should I do?
Q. I am dumping someone soon as he is controlling and tells me what to do. I am scared about being single again as i have had a tough life i though yes finally i have something good but it being snatched away. he has a daughter wit someone else ...
A. 28 November 2007: Skinny only looks good in a photo. Most guys love a girl with a bit of flesh on her bones, so never mind about that! I'm more concerned that you would choose to stay in a bad relationship and that you say all of your relationships have been bad. ... (read in full...)
If he loves me...shouldn't he care how I feel??
Q. My boyfriend is giving me mixed signals all the time. He says he loves me but i dont know if he means it. He always goes running off to some other girl besides me. Ok one day another girl was crying because she wanted to go out with someone ...
A. 28 November 2007: Yes, you are absolutely right to be upset. Tears are a common way for manipulative females to get their own way and be quite sure that she intended to get some attention from your boyfriend by doing this. He put her needs ahead of yours. Yes. ... (read in full...)
I like seeing him... but only at weekends!
Q. I am 47 just divorced. We've been married for 22 years. The last four year we only see each other at weekends. I was very unhappy and finally decided to end it. Then I met this man 18 years older than me. He's single without children. We get on ...
A. 27 November 2007: If he is 18 years older, he probably has his own life and has his own routines as well. Has he been telling you that he wants more than seeing you on the weekends? Or is it an idea that someone else has put into your head? Are you comparing it ... (read in full...)
How do you write a love letter to a guy?,we've never made love, can I put this in the letter?
Q. I want to write my boyfrind a love letter. What advice would you have regarding writing love letters? What are cute or sexy things to say? How can I say them? We have not had sex and I would like to and I think we are ready. Can I mention ...
A. 27 November 2007: Please write that letter. Love letters are a lost and dying art. He will probably keep it for the rest of his life. THe hardest thing that we do, as humans, is to expose ourselves, our hearts and souls, to another human being and ask that they ... (read in full...)
He's too bushy down below, how can I bring this up with him?
Q. Hi. My bf's hair down there never bothered me, but lately i've noticed that he hasn't really been trimming it like he used to and it's getting really thick. I really don't have a problem with hair, it's just that when i go down on him i'm ...
A. 26 November 2007: You are probably at an age where you have your own place and therefore, a little more privacy. You could turn this into a little "grooming" party! Set up a nice bath with candles, wine and music. Don't forget the shaving foam, scissors and razor. ... (read in full...)
Is there something else I can use instead of a condom?
Q. Is there something else i can use instead of a condom?...
A. 26 November 2007: Hi,
The only other barrier method is a femidom. It's like a condom, but for the inside of your vagina (I'm not sure if they are still available, or how easy it is to find them). The importance of a barrier method is that it is the ONLY method that... (read in full...)
Can my mother forbid me to see my older boyfriend, whom I met on msn?
Q. Hey, 6 months ago i met my boyfriend through msn and have been together 4 months now, 2 days ago he moved down to be with me. We love each other but i was wondering if my mum can stop me seeing him? im 16 and hes 27. Please give me good advice x...
A. 22 November 2007: Glad to hear that it's all worked out for you! Best of luck with School, Mom and Boyfriend.... (read in full...)
3 years apart and I still love my ex!
Q. Hi Myself and my ex split up nearly 3 years ago. We have a little boy who is 3 and my ex left me with what I think was post natal depression though Im not 100% sure. She said she left because I wa at the pub all the time...Which I wasnt!! I abs...
A. 19 November 2007: Raising a baby on your own is hard work. You may not think that you were at the pub too much, but it seems like SHE thought so enough to leave over it. When you have a new baby AND post-partum depression, having a partner who still gets out once ... (read in full...)
I drank and had stomach problems.
Q. Help please yesterday i was drinking too much and i was sick 3 times. 2 of the times was normal sick but the last time i was sick it didnt look normal it looked like just liquid stuff but strong like acid it didnt have the normal sick stuff in it. ...
A. 18 November 2007: It's not the lining of your stomach that you are throwing up. The liquid is called bile, it's produced by your stomach (and liver, I believe) to break down your food before it continues down your digestive tract. If there's no food in you stomach, ... (read in full...)
I've had my navel pierced, recently it's gotten really red. Is it a sign of rejection?
Q. hey guys can u please help? In april i had my navel pierced. I then went back to my peircer and he put a shorter bar in it. anyway, recently, it has got really red. top and bottom hole. also, it stings. however, its not pussing. it looks slightly ...
A. 17 November 2007: It's not a sign of rejection; it's a sign of infection. Make sure that the piercing is made of surgical steel. Rotate it a quarter turn everyday and use an antibacterial or antibiotic cream. If it gets worse or if you run a fever, see your doctor. ... (read in full...)
Should I date my deceased ex-boyfriend's best friend
Q. My exboyfriend died 3 months ago in a tragic car accident. I loved him dearly but he did not know, he thought I hated him because of a lot of things he put me through. I have a problem. I still love my exboyfriend with all my heart, but I may be ...
A. 16 November 2007: Hi Dear,
I forgot a word. Your boyfriend would NOT want either you or his best friend to be unhappy forever. I'm quite sure if he is looking down at you both, he would approve. Sorry for the mistake in my answer. Best of luck to you both.
... (read in full...)
Why does my vagina dry up after orgasm?
Q. why does my vagina dry up after orgasm?...
A. 16 November 2007: You may be beginning peri-menopause. Most women have symptoms in their 40's. You can experience symptoms for a decade before actual menopause and most women only notice a few symptoms until closer to their actual menopause. The average age for ... (read in full...)
Should I date my deceased ex-boyfriend's best friend
Q. My exboyfriend died 3 months ago in a tragic car accident. I loved him dearly but he did not know, he thought I hated him because of a lot of things he put me through. I have a problem. I still love my exboyfriend with all my heart, but I may be ...
A. 16 November 2007: My sympathy to you for your loss. It is a tragedy that you lost someone you loved and at such a young age. I can't imagine how hard this has been for you both. It seems that this has drawn the two of you closer, and it would seem that it would be ... (read in full...)
Why do married men look at naked women on the internet?
Q. Why would a married man look at nude women on the internet after being caught once only to do it again?...
A. 16 November 2007: There is a basis biological urge here - men a driven to procreate by seed and women are driven to bond and procreate to raise a child. In other words, women are choosey because we have to be prepared to raise a child with this individual and men ... (read in full...)
Average amount of sex partners in a lifetime.
Q. I was wondering whether anybody knew the average amount sexual partners men and women have in their lifetimes. Im 17 years old and only have had One, I know this is quite normal and am relatively happy about it. I suppose im asking, what can i ...
A. 15 November 2007: Hi,
The average is somewhere between 7 and 10 partners, but I'm sure that most people are not regarding this as a "goal" and many may regret a few of these "numbers". Probably the more important issue is to take every relationship seriously, as y... (read in full...)
I have an inconvenient penis. What can I do?
Q. I'm 27 years old man. I have made sex since last year. Eventhough my penis size is not much smaller, my girl friends comment as it is too too small, and I am always embarrassed by this case. Does her hole is exteremely wide or is that my problem? ...
A. 12 November 2007: A vagina has walls that expand and contract. It will accomodate a babies head and will also hold a tampon that is not much wider than a pencil. Your technique is more important that the size of your penis. I'm sure that your girlfriend was ... (read in full...)
Not sure about virginity.
Q. Im 26 and im not quite sure if Im a virgin or not. Ive `put it in` (twice) but I didnt come. So Im not sure. It could just be unfinished business.. Its been 5 years since I last tried. So I might just class myself as a virgin anyway....
A. 12 November 2007: Once you have had your penis inside of a vagina (assuming you are straight) (or otherwise) you are technically no longer a virgin. Your virginity refers to the breaking of the hymen OR never having had sex before, not to whether or not you have had ... (read in full...)
They'll probably kick me out of University.
Q. Hi, I'm a university student and I just started in September. I have also been working for Sainsbury’s supermarket for 2 years. When I got my lecture schedule it became apparent that it would clash with my work schedule. When I asked them to change ...
A. 12 November 2007: You have already stated that that this is entirely your fault. You are not "doomed", but you seem determined to shoot yourself in the foot.
Stop keeping all of this to yourself and talk with your TA's, Profs and enlist the resources of your fell... (read in full...)
Can my mother forbid me to see my older boyfriend, whom I met on msn?
Q. Hey, 6 months ago i met my boyfriend through msn and have been together 4 months now, 2 days ago he moved down to be with me. We love each other but i was wondering if my mum can stop me seeing him? im 16 and hes 27. Please give me good advice x...
A. 4 September 2007: You sound like you are transferring all your anger to us and we're not your Mum. I think that you sound like you are on the defense and reacting to everything instead of listening and discussing things. Have you done the same thing with your Mum? ... (read in full...)
Can my mother forbid me to see my older boyfriend, whom I met on msn?
Q. Hey, 6 months ago i met my boyfriend through msn and have been together 4 months now, 2 days ago he moved down to be with me. We love each other but i was wondering if my mum can stop me seeing him? im 16 and hes 27. Please give me good advice x...
A. 4 September 2007: Picture yourself in the same situation. When You are a 27 year old woman, do you want to be with a 16 year old boy? Don't you think that's is a bit suspect? Your Mom doesn't want to ruin your life - she gave it to you!!! Her whole happiness ... (read in full...)
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