A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am almost 16 and i have to make a huge decison. My boyfreind wants to have sex. He keeps reminding me that he doesnt want to force me into anything and we must both feel comfortable and want to do it. he said he has protection and everything. I love him and i trust him. I just cant make up my mind whether i want to lose my virginity so young. I am ready to go ll the way with him yes, but my worries are just 'what if i fall pregnant?' and 'what if i regret it afterwards?' after all.. there is no way to get your virginity back once you've lost it. I really dont know what to do now, I want to but i am scared! Any advice please? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2007): When you loose yor virginity you are most hte time losing more than you gain. I lost my virginity at 13. my mother and father found out and i have no trust in my family at all. Also i almost got pregnant and because it was at my friends house shes not allowed to speak t ome Pregnancy is no the only danger. Also AIDS,H.I.V, and the risk of being caught by an adult. i think its a great thing to do because its a part of life if you really love him and he really loves you and you think yall are ready but if it seems to risky he'll wait if he really loves you
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (14 March 2007):
 You sound really worried and scared. I think under those conditions, you are not ready or comfortable enough to have sex quite yet. You really need to be sure that you understand safe sex and back-up contraception before you have sex the first time, then you will not be so uncomfortable about falling pregnant. Boyfriends are always the ones who push to have sex, but the girl is always the one to carry the baby if things go the way nature intended. Can you picture yourself with this man as the father of your children? If you can't picture him as your future husband, you shouldn't be sleeping with him. Ask yourself if you are both ready to have a family if things do go that way - or better yet -Ask HIM if he is ready to have Children! I bet he stops pressuring you for a while. You will know when you are ready - believe me. Sex is not very much fun for a young girl with an inexperienced boy. Sex isn't satisfying for a women until they are with a man who knows what he is doing and that usually doesn't happen until you're in your 20's!. I really suggest waiting until YOU are ready. If he is a loving and respectful boyfriend, he will put your discomfort with the situation before what he wants. Take Care Honey.
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A
female
reader, mum2be  +, writes (14 March 2007):
By the fact that you are looking at the consequences of your actions before you take them, i can tell that you are quite a mature girl.
However, since you are not 100% sure you want to have sex with this guy, then i suggest you leave it for a while. Your bf sounds nice in that he is not pushing you, and i know how you feel in that you want to show him just how much you really do care, but you need to remember that you can only loose your virginity once, and you need to be happy and comforatble with the person you leave it too.
I am glad you are thinking about the possibilty that you could get pregnant, as i am 15 and expecting, and it is not easy i can tell you!!!!!
Talk to your parents about what you are thinking of doing, and just how serious you are about this guy, then, that way, if and when you do decide to have sex with him, you can have their support and backing... and they can prepeare themselves for the fact you may get pregnant.
Think carefully about your decision, babes, and i hope you make the right one for you!!!!
all the best
xxxxxxxq
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (14 March 2007):
 If you're having these doubts, my advice is do nothing! This is our minds way of letting us know that this needs more time and more thought. You're right, this is a massive decision and once it's gone, there's no getting it back. I know you love him and he sounds like a genuine, loving guy but that's no reason to dive into bed with him. If the relationship is doing well without sex, why complicate things?
I am a firm believe that, when it's meant to be, it will happen. Once you're really ready to make this move, you will know and there will be no doubt in your mind. 16 is still young, you don't need all the worry and drama sex brings with it. Just enjoy being young and being together for now. When the times comes, you'll know and it will all fall into place.
I think everyone worries about getting pregnant when they first start having sex. Once you're mature enough to handle this, you can choose your contraception together and make sure you're both safe. As long as you use them everytime and are always careful, you should be ok. But remember, nothing is 100%.
Hope this has helped and I hope you do wait until you're 100% sure. This is one of the biggest decisions you will make in you're life and I hate to see people regretting it later. I'm sure this guy is wonderful but just enjoy the present and don't worry about all that yet. Good luck.
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