A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,Call vs. not to call. Need a bit more help on my situation. I also need a guy’s opinion as well. Last I wrote, I had met a guy who worked as a stripper. I had given him my #. He started to text me, asking me out. However, when he asked out it was always later at night, like 8:30 and later. We never really talked, he just would say something like “what are you doing tonight”. He did this twice and both times I was in school and could not see him and I let him know that. The last text I got from him was about 2 weeks ago at 11:00 something pm, asking me to cover over for a drink. I got back to him at 2:00am. Well, I told him that he lived far and I would not get there till like 5am. So, I said that my friends and I were going back up to the bar I meet at and if he was free we could have a drink than. No response. By Weds of the following week, being a bit upset that he had not texted back, I had texted him letting him know that I got the point of his late night texts, and it really was not my thing and if he wants to be friends to call anytime. Than I text again this Sat saying that I hope he did not take my text as being mean and that I would not bother him anymore. No response to date.Was I wrong to think he was a player or just looking for a booty call? I guess the reason I am concerned is because I do have plans to go back up to the bar we meet at with friends and to go back to the strip club for a friend’s birthday April. So, I know that I will probably run in to him and I feel really awkward about going either places. But I already made plans before I gave him my #. Should I call and try and talk to him, so we can at least be friends, sine now he probably realizes that I am not a booty call? I don’t want to look like a loser. The bad part is this week I have realized that I really like him, but I am not into games.
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booty call, player, stripper, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2007): I am sorry I did not mean to make you mad, however my feeling had changed since the last time I wrote. Plus I did not feel I had added all the appropriate informaion to my 1st post. The advice was great, but one of the pieces of advise said to call him, so I felt if they knew the whole story, they might not say that I should call. I am def taking all of your advice.
I think this is a great site, and I appreciate everyone's time. =-)
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (14 March 2007):
 Do you really want to have a boyfriend who works at a bar stripping? Isn't that suspect enough? Try this technique if you are not sure if this is okay - "Mommy, Where did you and Daddy meet? Was it love at first sight?" If you aren't comfortable with the answer, change venues.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2007): If he works as a stripper, he may well not be available to meet until later in the evening - though if he met you to go out somewhere at 8:30 p.m., then that's not all that late.
BUT sending you a text at 11:00 to ask you over for a drink? That sounds suspiciously like a booty call.....UNLESS he was inviting you to go to the bar where he works? Still sounds "fishy" to me, though.
As things now stand, you have sent texts to him three times and he has not responded. That really speaks for itself. Time to leave it alone!
If you have already made arrangements for your friend's birthday, and get-togethers with other friends, well, maybe you could all go to a different bar and plan something else for the birthday party if you feel uncomfortable about going there. Otherwise, go to the strip club for the birthday bash with the attitude "the hell with it" if you see him there! What does it matter whether he's there or not, so far as you are concerned, right? (he may be looking for "booty", and anyway, has not returned your texts).
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (14 March 2007):
 It sounds to me like he was playing you. He wasn't interested in texting you, like guys are when they first meet someone they like and I'm not one to judge but a stripper? I can hardly see him being the settling down type, can you? Maybe he was just busy, I don't know, but guys I've known who like women make more of an effort that he has.
Don't be another pathetic woman hanging on his every word. He obviously likes to have the upper hand and have women falling at his feet and sending him offers all the time. Don't play into this, you want someone who cares for you, respects you and wants what you want.
I know you like him: what is it about us women, once someone's out of bounds, we want them more? Or when they treat us like rubbish, we suddenly can't get enough of them?! That's just the way we're made but stear clear of this one, hun. Don't ring him, you've done nothing wrong and there's no reason he shouldn't be fine with you if you see him again.
Good luck and stick to your guns, men like this are sent to test us, don't be another one of his lap dogs!
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