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*rooke5426
writes:Has anyone ever been given medication by their doctor to help cope with a break up? Im really really struggling to forget about my ex - it hurts like hell and im torturing myself by thinking about him and crying about him all day and all night to the point where i dont wanna go to work i just wanna stay in bed and cry myself silly - and i think maybe i should see if my doctor could give me something to kind of chill me out a bit and take the edge away but i dont want to be laughed at. anyone know if they prescribe things for that or if they work? thanks.
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female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (12 September 2007):
brooke5426 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks everyone. i tried the hypnotherapy thing and loved it. its only been about a week or so so i'm just gonna take it easy and be nice to myself - after all that is the advice i would give anyone on here! lol.im gonna see if i can trick my brain into being happy until i am over him and am genuinely happy. so im officially on a diet - not to lose weight but because i feel so much better when i'm not eating junk, i'm off to get my hair and nails done and might even book a vacation with the girls if i can get time off work. no more crying into my cornflakes watching jeremy kyle for me!thanks again x
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reader, Nevalearn  +, writes (12 September 2007):
Most people on this site can relate to you. Thats probably how they found agony aunt in the first place. Try seeing a councillor, even if its only once. I reckon I must have cried for 8 weeks solid until I went to see this councillor and she was terrific. I still cried a little bit but nowhere near as bad. Focus on your future and what you can do for yourself. You need to become your own person again and have a sense of self. You may have come too reliant on your partner and your life sort of melted into his. You need to get your life back. Do something different, join a fitness class or something. As for anti-depressants, my councillor told me that 20 minutes brisk walking is the same as taking a pill. Try it, it works. Don't think about your ex while your doing it, think about how great you are going to look. I lost about 4 kgs in a week when I broke up with my ex, and kept it off, I say thanks dickhead I needed to lose weight anyway, asshole lol. And don't forget to laugh. Rent a couple of funny video's and have a glass of wine. I had been crying all day once and I rented this video, something Hogs (can't remember name had John Travolta in it) well I just about pissed myself laughing. It was the best therepy!! Good Luck, you'll be fine (eventually).
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): No ones going to laugh at you. And if your doctor did, you should find a new doctor! There are times in everybody's life where emotions and stress feel too hard to cope with. Doctor's understand this.
Anyways, there really is no medicine that will specifically target and help you deal with a break up. But if you are having this much trouble coping with it, then clearly the problem with you is something else that certainly a doctor could diagnose and give you medicine for. It could be depression (which could be triggered by a break up or by anything for that matter). You might even have other issues that are the actual cause which is making this so difficult for you to deal with. Depression is often genetic. So this is something that may come up again in your life. Especially at times when certain life circumstances get you down. But these circumstances don't actually fuel the depression. They just may trigger it. But the depression may be inevitable (if untreated) because it is part of your genetic makeup.
So a doctor or a psichiatrist will diagnose the REAL cause of your difficulty coping and will give you medicine for that and may even recommend therapy or something else in order to train you and teach you to cope with the repurcussions and triggers of your genetic disposition toward having difficulty coping.
In the meantime, the best thing you can do for now is stay away from alcohol (that will make you MORE down) and try to do some exercise. Just force yourself.
Look hun, my bf just dumped me. And I have been where you are. But I learned to cope with stuff like this throughout the years. (And on my own too). It's hard to explain but I realised that alot of my trauma and depression and anxiety that I felt due to a break up, I was causing myself. I was dwelling on thoughts and images that seemed so detrimental to me. I mean it felt like the absolute end of the world! You can't even imagine. Like my life had just collapsed. I couldn't even walk to the kitchen without crying. Everything reminded me of him. I would always get this feeling run up and down my body that felt like awful. Especially when I would see stuff that would remind me of him. I had even thought about taking a break from school all because of a break up!
Looking back now, I realise that I just would attach SO much significance to my relationships. Especially when we broke up. I still to this day don't know why (I think maybe it had something to do with my childhood and fear of loss). But the good news is that I got over it. And I have been in relationships since. I took time out and just dated (this was the turning point in my life). When I stopped having bf's and decided to just date, nothing more, my life changed. I swear. I realised so much about myself and about life and about men in general. I dated for about two years. And the crazy thing about it is that when you are dating you are basically going out every weekend, meeting guys, you date them for a couple weeks, and at that point one of you never calls again. When you put yourself out there to experience this EVERY WEEKEND, for a couple years, you realise how unimportant it was to begin with. And when you set yourself up for that kind of "rejection" or control for that matter, for so long, you start taking it a lot more lightly. You realise the absurdity about it all and really builds character and makes you stronger. You kind of stop having expectations of people. Which is actually a good thing. When people like us, limit ourselves to relationships, we develop so much expectations out of it. And when they don't work out we "die." Because we expected so much. Dating is good because, at least for me, it helped me get over this unrealistic side of me that built up so much fantasy and expectation out of things. And it helped me not to expect anything really. Relationship or not. It really helped my relationships a lot. And it helped me deal with break ups so much better. It has been five days and I haven't heard from my "ex," and I am not struggling anymore like I used to years ago. For me, dating turned out to be my therapy. And this was a choice I made. I said " I don't want a bf! I just want to date!" And I had no idea that it would heal me. But it did. So there is hope. I don't know if this is your solution. But something is! And you can get over this. And not only this time. You can change yourself forever.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): The pain your feeling you just want it taken all away don’t you your low, your just want out sweetie and I’ve been there, but think for a minute where has your life gone?
Is the relationship really that important that your going to give up and sedate yourself? Don’t you think you have talents and gift and a passion that needs life to flourish? All I’m asking that somewhere underneath all that pain you get back your fighting spirit and make sure that you come back at the other end a better and stronger person, and yes that seems impossible right now but its not!
If I could send you a magic pill that would take away all the pain I would or a pharmacy in the sky? yes but taking physical action(pills) for an emotional problem isn’t going to work, it will dull your personality and I’m not a doctor but I am someone who knows a thing or two about feeling like you do,
you need help from the inside you’ve identified the problem the solution is going to be outside help maybe from a hypnotherpist too pricey? What about a hypnotherapy C.D?
To start with from waterstones priced about £9:00 glen Harold’s overcoming fears, relationships or to help you sleep (if your having trouble sleeping) and mindfit I did my research for you they have a CD you can order online to help you “get over your ex” here is the link www.hypnos.info and outside help can include shopping or pampering yourself a trip to the beauty salon can work wonders I promise,
Exercise helps greatly too it can trigger “happy hormones” which will combat depression so try a yoga class or a punch bag( pretend its your ex!) Lol!
and go and see your doctor if its your belief, that the doctors can work for you, but by the sounds of things its very painful but it may not be clinical depression, when I was suffering I was always worried I would be misdiagnosed and if I wouldn’t have took self help(spiritual) I might have really convinced myself I was depressed when it was a broken heart that I would eventually get over and get back my zest for life, which you will will too it might take just a bit of effort but the rewards will be amazing, I promice,
good Luck xx and please mail me for any more advice if you need it,
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reader, Jamer70 +, writes (11 September 2007):
 like kenny said. Doctors wont pescribe something for a broken heart. Only time can help. No matter how hard it is, it definently is the best recipe. Soon you will be back to yourself
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): To be honest I dont think medication will help you because it wont solve your problems. Yeah it can make you feel better for a while but, in my experience, it tends to wear off & you're left with the same issues you started with.
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reader, kenny +, writes (11 September 2007):
 Unforunately the doctor can not prescribe anything for a broken heart. The only thing that is going to heal you is time. Time is a great healer of pain & broken hearts. After a while it will start to get easier, although it does not feel like it now it will. In A Few weeks you will start to feel yourself coming round, and start to feel better in yourself and you will want to start getting out and about again. As i said, time is the healer.
All the best x
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reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (11 September 2007):
 Hi,You did not say how long you have been broken up for. If it is a fairly recent split, it's normal to feel a lot of anxiety, have crying jags, trouble sleeping, no appetite, food binges, and actual aches and pains - especially that hollow chest ache. Unfortunately, time is the healer here. If it has been months and you still can't get past it, it could be a depression that has set in, in which case, you should go and ask for help from a doctor. We all feel for you, we've all been there. Don't isolate yourself, don't give into those black mornings when you don't want to get out of bed. Time does heal all wounds. Keep in touch with all your friends and family, let them help you whenever you need it. As painful as this is, You will get through this. Hope you feel better soon, take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): Hello my dear.Ive been in a similiar position, to you. After my ex of six and half years dumped me i layed in bed for 3 weeks and cried and cried. Your going through a type of bereavement that is causing depression. A doctor can prescribe anti-depressant tablets, but they will take about 3weeks -4weeks to have an effect.Its completely understandable you feel this way and my heart goes out to you. A sympathetic doctor will not laugh at you but recongize your very real symptoms.However, what your going through is totally normal for what has happened.I dont suggest that a pill will make it go away,because its a nautral grieving process. If you are feeling like this in a couple of weeks time a trip to the doctor could help.I promise you that this pain will pass. You can embrace your saddness and curl up and cry untill you can cry no more, this is letting out emotions that will help heal you.Then get a piece of paper and write down a plan of action.A plan of all the things you would like to do in your life. This is your positive list that will help take you out of the darkness and into a happier future.God bless. Youre not alone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): I can totally sympathise with you breakups are terrible, i have felt like i'm sure you feel, everyone telling you to move on and that he wasn't worth it. Medication isn't an positive step towards getting over it, you can become dependent on them and experience side-effects such as depression after you end the treatment, weight gain, violent mood swings the list is endless. Getting over a relationship takes time especially if it didn't end under the best of circumstances. I started kick-boxing and making sure i had a healthy diet it worked for me after i ended a 3 year serious relationship. Also counciling is an option you should consider it can really help you sort out your feelings, if you have a close friend or family member you could talk to them. Getting back to work can also help you move on, it may feel like a huge step but it helps. Good Luck
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