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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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I can't stand my husband's female co-worker!
Q. My question is I can't stand my husband's female co-worker! I met her at his christmas party and from the moment I met her I did not get a good vibe from her. I consider myself good looking but she is 20 years old, very gorgeous and has a body that ...
A. 19 December 2007: Don't give her any reason to not like you if you are worried about your husband. As a matter of fact, do you best to befriend her and may her like you at office functions. I'm not saying doulble-dating, but make her like you SOooooo much that ... (read in full...)
My long term boyfriend's mother can't accept me and won't clarify why. Any ideas on what I can do?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years,on and off. We got back together on a serious basis in June. I am very frustrated cos his mum doesn;'t want to accept me.I am not allowed to go to his house. I feel humiliated by it, as I have never met the ...
A. 18 December 2007: Best of Luck Sweetie. Make sure that you read him the riot act so that she doesn't put him in the middle during the visit. A good idead is a word or phrase that you have that you can both use if you have had enough or you aren't happy with the way ... (read in full...)
Going on tour with my band and getting nervous
Q. In about 2 more months, my band memebers and I heading our first tour out in TN, at a club. Our other friends, The secrets, other band taught us everything we should sknow about tours. The bad news is 1) I get really nerves because we never ...
A. 18 December 2007: Good for You, chasing your dream!
#1. The most important thing is to not use alcohol or any substance, it will turn into a crutch. It will interfere with your skills. It will interfere with the moment! You want to remember being there with all... (read in full...)
Is a 7 year age diff too much?
Q. well i actually want to know if it is wrong to date someone who is like 7years older than i am...
A. 18 December 2007: 18 and 25 or 21 and 28? If you are 18, there might be a bit of a gap in mutual experiences and maturity, less so if you are 21 years old. I really think that it would depend on both of you.
In any case, at 18, you are old enough to make thes... (read in full...)
Flirting gone way, way too far... should my husband's co-worker be told?
Q. My husband is in love with a co-worker. She started working at his company in August 2006. He shared with me that he was in love with her in May 2007. He has always been an incessant flirt, and she probably doesn't realize how much he "gets off" ...
A. 18 December 2007: You Have a FRIEND Who WORKS WITH HIM????
Well, then!!!!
You should stay out of it! But that doesn't mean that your FRIEND has to stay out of it! It sounds like he is making a total fool of himself, and he is having a mid-life crisis. I have a... (read in full...)
He's displaying all the classic signs of an affair and has even had sexy texts but denies it...Do I believe him?
Q. I'm a 28-year-old woman, my husband's 32, and we have two children, a four-year-old son and a two-year-old toddler. A few weeks ago my husband began receiving suggestive text messages from someone claiming they were having an affair with him....
A. 18 December 2007: Oh Hun,
I am sorry. I am so sad for you, that is a heartbreaker. I'm with starfairy, as hard as it might be, your Mom deserves to know. I would break the news to her privately with the photos. Don't tell him or your Dad yet. They already thin... (read in full...)
How do I get her to admit she likes me?
Q. there is a girl in my class and i like her and its pretty obvious that she likes me. i need to know how to make her admit she likes me, she's a tough one to crack. what do you think? ...
A. 18 December 2007: I also like the note with:
Do you like me?
Yes
No
Check one!... (read in full...)
What can I do and say to him that could draw me closer to him?
Q. I have a guy who i like and we're kind of friends right now. I can tell he likes something about me that could draw him new but then my negative actions(eg saying i'm a man hater etc) hinders him from going the full mile and liking me back. Tell me ...
A. 17 December 2007: The next time that you say "I hate all men!" in front of him, quickly add "But, in your case, I'll make an exception!". Throw in a warm smile and touch his forearm too. He should get the hint. ... (read in full...)
She's my superior at work and I'm her toyboy. Do I keep the status quo, or should I end it?
Q. So im 21 and since augest i have been having an affair with my 41 year boss (MILF), who's husband happens to be the manager of the place where i work, so technically he is my boss where she is my superior, and they have three kids who enjoy playing ...
A. 17 December 2007: This IS going to end eventually, and only you can decide how it ends. You know that she will never leave her husband if she has children and her husband is tied up in her livelihood, and this scandal could be a set-back in your career if you ... (read in full...)
I love my God brother, is this wrong?
Q. i loved my god brother. i know we cannot have any relationship but i don't know to stop my feeling toward him. is it a mistake for loving our own god brother? i kept thinking of him day and night. i even sometimes thought him as my bf. what shou...
A. 17 December 2007: If he is the son of your godparents, and there is no relationship by family and blood relations, then is perfectly fine to date him. Actually, your parents and godparents would probably think it was a match made in heaven!... (read in full...)
My mom read my diary and now I feel all traumatized! What to do about her??
Q. My Mom read my diary this morning, I'm traumatised. She knows my sex life in huge, digusting detail, she knows that I'm a good child brought up very well and I never wanted that to change. I'm a 14 year old female who initiated sex with my ...
A. 17 December 2007: I'm sure your Mom read your diary because she already suspected what was going on. I doubt very much that anything she read would have embarrassed her, she was probably expecting it, or something similar. The person who feels embarrassed is you ... (read in full...)
My landlord complains about my dog. Nothing was said about this when moving in and now I'm panicking, what to do??
Q. My question isn't relevant to love but I don't really know where else to turn for advice. I moved out on my own 6 months ago. You could say I've led a sheltered life and am perhaps a bit naive. I'm 22 and this is my first time living alone, an...
A. 17 December 2007: In the meanwhile, your landlord needs 24 hours notice before he enters your apartment. Make sure to keep only the minimum of doggie things and that your apartment is not covered with doggie clutter. The go on-line, and get a machine that controls ... (read in full...)
I like someone who's working on my house. Do guys like it when the woman makes the first move?
Q. This is a question for the men on the site. I like someones who's doing work on my house at the moment. Do men like it when woman make the first move...or ask for your number? He's back on tuesday and i want to do something about i...
A. 17 December 2007: Hi,
Yeah, sure ask him out! AND if he says YES, tell him you'll date him as soon as the job's complete. You may actually have the house finished on time. lol!... (read in full...)
My boyfriends dad has just died. I don't know how to comfort him without crying. Please help!
Q. My boyfriends dad just died and i am about to cry and i don't know how to act or what to say no one close to me ever died what should i do?...
A. 17 December 2007: Hi Hun,
I just lost my Dad two months ago, and all I wanted my spouse to do was hold me and let me cry. I'm sorry that your boyfriend lost his Dad at such a young age, that is very sad. Just let him cry and be patient and loving, he won't mind... (read in full...)
My long term boyfriend's mother can't accept me and won't clarify why. Any ideas on what I can do?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years,on and off. We got back together on a serious basis in June. I am very frustrated cos his mum doesn;'t want to accept me.I am not allowed to go to his house. I feel humiliated by it, as I have never met the ...
A. 16 December 2007: NO.
Don't allow her issues to become your issues. Don't meet for the first time under her roof where she is comfortable. She'll be on-her-back-foot if you just bide your time and wait to invite her to Yours and His NEW Home. You cannot chan... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a bad reputation, should I be worried?
Q. I date a physician .He cheated on his wife with his mistress.He left her and is dating me and I'm a nurse were he works.The rumors at the hospital was he cheated on both xwives.Should I let this bother me?Everybody looks at me weird when I go to ...
A. 16 December 2007: You seem to be getting lots of advice from all the people that you are working with. You are just not taking it. If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a duck.... (read in full...)
I am a married woman falling in love with my lover, what should my next move be?
Q. i have been married for 12 years there has been nothing between my husband and i for about 2 years and I have been having an affair for the past 12 months with a man who is also in a relationship. Iam falling in love with my lover and think he has ...
A. 16 December 2007: I feel as the others do, there is more honor in ending the marriage before you commit to someone else first (although it's probably a moot point). You didn't say why you haven't gone into marriage counseling with your husband. If you have any ... (read in full...)
His ex girlfriend is a nuisance, should I befriend her?
Q. My boyfriend's ex has tried to come between me and him. She's just clinging on to what they had even though it's been over a year since they split. My friends tell me I need to tell her to back off. She still contacts him quite regularl...
A. 16 December 2007: I really think that she just wants to find some way to cling on to him, and if you should befriend her, she would just be using you to get to him. I don't think that I would bet any money on this working out or helping in the long run. Your ... (read in full...)
I thought I was straight but I fell for my female collegue, but I want a husband and children also. Do I stay with my lesbian lover, or get back with my ex boyfriend?
Q. im at yhe peak of my career when things started to stumble, i was introduced to a new office mate, she is intelligent, sexy and pretty, we get along very well, we became close friends, most of the time we share our pants, shoes, foods, lipstick and ...
A. 16 December 2007: It seems that you are happy but your fantasies and hopes are out of whack. Why would you change what you have for something more conventional? I have friends that have been together thirty years and they are gay WITH children. It was much harder ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend gay? He looks at gay porn on the internet but insists he is straight.
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Our relationship has had its ups and downs, as most relationships do, however, I think my boyfriend might be gay. 6 months into our relationship, I found a lot of gay pornography ...
A. 16 December 2007: Hi Sweetie,
I know that you and he are talking about this and that you are aware that there is denial on his part, and that you don't accept the facts or his denial as any kind of proof of the fact that he is gay. But, if you would like to have... (read in full...)
I think he is gay, but I also think my collegue is flirting with me
Q. Well...I landed a new job just a month ago and I am already having problems [go figure]. I am not really sure where I stand at this point, but I definitely like men [this was made clear on my last job]. Before I start...let me just say that I have a ...
A. 16 December 2007: There's an old saying, I'll try to put it in polite terms. "Don't make waste products where you intend on eating.". It means, "Don't mix business with pleasure" or "Don't have a daliance where you intend to make your Living". Look for a sexual ... (read in full...)
He calls me Baby and Honey. What should I do?
Q. I'm 14 years old (girl)and I need someone's advice. This guy always flirts with me. This year we kind of started talking and he's been showing alot of things. One time he said hi when we were at our lockers and he called me baby and whats up? and he ...
A. 16 December 2007: You didn't say whether you like him or not. If he is just doing this when he is around you, then it is a sign that he likes you. If he does it with every single girl at school, then he's just one of those guys that likes to be a big player, so if ... (read in full...)
I like a Canadian girl but I'm afraid she'll reject me because I'm not Canadian.
Q. I want to ask a girl out, but I'm afraid of something. She's popular, not too popular but not a noname. This might seem stupid but, i'm afraid she'll reject me because i'm not Canadian. Shes Canadian, and was born here etc. I was born in Ukraine and ...
A. 16 December 2007: I've lived in a lot of different places and the one thing that seems to make people fit in is whether or not they speak the language where they live. If you speak English and sound like a Canadian, then you are a Canadian! I have lived in Holland, ... (read in full...)
My long term boyfriend's mother can't accept me and won't clarify why. Any ideas on what I can do?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years,on and off. We got back together on a serious basis in June. I am very frustrated cos his mum doesn;'t want to accept me.I am not allowed to go to his house. I feel humiliated by it, as I have never met the ...
A. 15 December 2007: I'm sorry Hun,
I went through this 30 years ago, he was Protestant and I was Catholic, and it didn't matter a lick that no one went to church in the first place! She called me up the day before the wedding to tell me that she though I was pedd... (read in full...)
Should I start sitting like a man with legs wide even though it makes me embarrassed?
Q. i am a 13 year old boy. i have recently noticed other boys in my classess sitting like men. - legs wide open - and am wondering weather i should start, but it embarrassess me whenever i do. i also fell dead self-conciouss when i dont. also when...
A. 15 December 2007: Definitely, sit the way you are comfortable, just don't sit like that on an airplane. As a woman who sat between two business men while flying, it's annoying to lose all of your leg room because men have to sit that way. If you are encroaching on ... (read in full...)
Do unmarried guys wear rings?
Q. This guy I know wears a silvery plainlooking ring on his ring finger, but he's never talked about it. I've seen him out at the bar, but it's always been with a guy friend, and he's not gay or anything as far as I know. Do some guys just wear r...
A. 15 December 2007: If it's on his "ring" finger, it's probably signifying something. Best to ask him, or ask someone who knows him well.... (read in full...)
I get an erection everytime I hug or kiss my gf; this embarasses me. What should I do?
Q. I can't help getting an erection when I hug or kiss my girlfriend, I'll hug her and then realise hes gone stiff and then i'll detatch myself to try and stop her noticing, we've only been together for a few weeks and I dont want to have sex yet and ...
A. 15 December 2007: Why give up masturbating? It's not a sign that you are unfaithful to your girlfriend. It won't control the normal reaction that you are having when you are close to her and masturbation is a perfectly normal thing for everyone to do, whether you ... (read in full...)
How do you tell your parents you are going out with someone??
Q. my friend has a b-friend she has been goin out with him 4 ages n she dun no how to tell her parents because they will take it serious how can she tell them ????/ please help d=she is stressed...
A. 15 December 2007: Perhaps if you went over and joined them for dinner, she might get brave and tell them? Sometimes parents are on there best behavior when a guest is present. They really should know about her boyfriend. Just a thought! Hope it helped!... (read in full...)
Are these signs of pregnancy? What else could they mean? I've tender breasts, stomachaches, backaches and vomit.
Q. Think i could be pregnant all of a sudden throwing up tender breasts stomache and back aches dardnt go to the doctors or tell ANYONE il get called a slag at my school what else can it be? what can i do?any anwers appriciated!! x x xx xx xx ...
A. 15 December 2007: Get an over the counter test NOW. Use your first Pee of the morning. Read the instructions carefully. If you're not sure about the results, tell your Mom. You might be scared, but she loves you and she will help you. Good Luck.... (read in full...)
My husband's cat is very dirty, makes noise, has attacked a friend - I'm concerned about my babies' safety, yet my partner wants to keep it!
Q. I really dislike my husband's cat! She's 11 yrs. old, she has long hair that falls out in clumps, I have found little clumps of hair that have feces in it, all over the house..I am 6 months pregnant and I have an 8 month old and I do not want this ...
A. 15 December 2007: I have had three cats and currently have a dog.
The biggest issue here is that the lady is pregnant and her husband is not taking care of HIS cat. Try to remember, she is not emotionally tied to this pet, and as a woman, she is NOT elected emot... (read in full...)
How do I stop my large breasts giving me stretch marks?
Q. I have size 30G breasts and I hate it because I have recently started getting stretch marks because they keep on growing. Does anyone have any ideas, help or tips on how i can prevent this because the marks are making me afraid to ever show any ...
A. 14 December 2007: Hi Hun,
Although it's down to genes, I'm afraid, My sis-in-law told be about this. She was in her thirties and her breasts had been the smae size for years (she has no children). Her breasts gained a few sizes (she hadn't gained weight), so she ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and lesbian... should I come out? I fear the negative reactions!
Q. Hi, I'm 15 and have been fairly certain I was gay/lesbian since everyone else started getting crushes on guys... and I started having them on girls. I only really accepted it about 7 or 8 months ago though, and a couple of months after that I got ...
A. 14 December 2007: Hi,
If you are worried about the negative reactions, you may want to delay it until you get to Uni. Sometimes it's easier in a more loose, liberal environment. If things go badly in a small school, you could wind up bumping into problematic pest... (read in full...)
What can I do about this troublesome long-distance family situation? Need ideas.
Q. Please help. This is not a question about a love or sex relationship but I really need some objective viewpoints on this one. I am a husband and father of 51 years. My wife is 50. We have a son, 26 out of the house and a daughter of 22 who still...
A. 14 December 2007: I honestly can't believe this situation. I know nothing about the state that they live in, but I can't believe that they cannot work things out with Child Services. Your brother is also a responsible adult here, can't they keep the children if ... (read in full...)
I don't want him to meet my family - should I break it off?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 1 and a half years. We are in love but recently he moved to another country for work but then told me that he wants to meet my family and wants to make things work. I know I love him but the thought of taking him ...
A. 14 December 2007: I think a solution would simply be to be honest with your boyfriend and tell him - "I'm not ready for you to meet my family yet. I will tell you when I am ready".
Take a good look at the reasons why you feel this way, however. Is there some reas... (read in full...)
Once a man has a history in Cheating, is it statistics or signs he will continue on this pattern?
Q. If a man has cheated on his first wife and divorces her. Then marries the Gf he had the affair with and cheats on her and divorces her.Will he continue this pattern with the current Gf?...
A. 14 December 2007: "A Man that Marries his Mistress creates a Job Opportunity".
-Anon... (read in full...)
He said we are 'too differant', I think we are perfect!
Q. Well, last night he told me that he thinks we are "too different" and that he doesn't think it will work out. I am crazy about him. He's a carpenter. I am a corporate professional and I think that the disparity in our incomes bothers him. He ...
A. 14 December 2007: You are the best judge here, go with what you are feeling. Give him a chance and let him see that you heart doesn't waiver, maybe constancy is what he wants to see. If he's still asking you to go with him on weekends, that a great sign! We are ... (read in full...)
How can I forget my ex if he always texts me and says pleasant things I want to hear?
Q. I had just been broken up with my boyfriend last september, I want to move on and forget him.... but time pass, I so sure that I love him but not trying to get him back.... He always makes me special eventhough were not together anymore and he ...
A. 14 December 2007: You are going to have to take a break completely, cold turkey, no contact for at least two months. If "being friends" is beyond what your heart is capable of, then tell him that you just can't talk with him because you need to get past this. And ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want any commitments as he's joining the Navy in 2 months... Do I leave now or later? - either way I will get hurt.
Q. I have just started seeing a guy, he is absolutley amazin and I can honestly say that I've never met a guy like him before... the only problem is that he is going away to join the Navy in 2 months... he says he doesn't want any commitments - doesnt ...
A. 14 December 2007: If you really feel that you are going to hurt either way, then why give up two months with him? You could leave him with a lasting impression and chalk the rest up to one of life's good experiences, even if it has to end. It's better to have lost ... (read in full...)
I'm in public school. A boy flirts with me showing vulgarity and indecent language. What to do?
Q. I really need help. I'm only 13 and I'm still in public school. This guy's been kind of bugging and flirting with me. one time he talked so dirty i was like '' help '' lol he was like '' i want your n*pples '' and he put out his two fingers and ...
A. 14 December 2007: Don't talk with him. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that it bothered you in any way. If he confronts you when you are all alone, run to a group of people. If he becomes persistent, tell your parents and the principal. No one should ... (read in full...)
My best friend (16) is pregnant with my Maths teacher's baby... What should I do?
Q. omg! iv just found out that my best friend is pregnant with my maths teachers baby. this has come as a complete shock to me because i had no idea theyd even slept together! shes really worried cos her parents will just freak out n shes also really ...
A. 14 December 2007: You should go and offer to be with her when she tells her parents. She needs some support here. DON'T DELAY. You didn't say how pregnant she is, but she may run out of options if you don't tell them soon.
What this teacher has done is SO wron... (read in full...)
I am ready, but he doesn't want to marry me...yet!
Q. I've known my boyfriend for 3 years, and we've been dating just over two and a half. Though we've had our ups and downs it's been a good relationship. We both discussed marriage and decided on a year half- 2 years. He has recently said he...
A. 13 December 2007: You are really young to get married these days, but I can understand your impatience to get on with your lives. Are you engaged? If he wants to wait a few years before marriage, would a long engagement be a good compromise for you? At least that ... (read in full...)
He said we are 'too differant', I think we are perfect!
Q. Well, last night he told me that he thinks we are "too different" and that he doesn't think it will work out. I am crazy about him. He's a carpenter. I am a corporate professional and I think that the disparity in our incomes bothers him. He ...
A. 13 December 2007: What a shame! I'm sad too after reading this! He's missing out on a great opportunity here. This is all about his hang-up with the difference in your jobs. That's terrible. I wish I knew how to help. He wants to stop this before it even gets ... (read in full...)
Flirting gone way, way too far... should my husband's co-worker be told?
Q. My husband is in love with a co-worker. She started working at his company in August 2006. He shared with me that he was in love with her in May 2007. He has always been an incessant flirt, and she probably doesn't realize how much he "gets off" ...
A. 12 December 2007: Innocent Flirting, kind of an oxymoron, right? I think she already knows he's getting off and that's why she's doing it. Not so innocent. Why give her the pleasure of letting her know that she is having the effect that she intended to with your ... (read in full...)
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