A
female
age
36-40,
*aiyuri
writes:I cant stand it! i am very emothional and people who I "thought that love me" are bringing me down. Like my mom, when i stand up for someone she yells at me like i was the one who to blame, but when she stands up for someone and i disagree she smacks me and yells how i need to respect whoever she defends. But also she goes thorugh my "personal" belonging like all my notes my friends gives me, my laptop, my bookbag. then she finds things she doesn't like and picks trouble. she even said it herself that she likes to pick trouble with me so i can do something that is wrong then she have to call the cops. i dont know what to do, im looking for enough money to move out and leave her behind.
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (7 September 2007):
 It sounds like you are reacting and that any discussion with your Mom puts you on the defensive. The situation is feeding off of itself and I think that you are right to move out as soon as possible. You stand the chance of permanently damaging your relationship with your Mom if you don't. You are both acting like the "Woman/Matriarch/Queen" of the household, and there can only be one. You are old enough to have your own home. You are, unfortunately, living under her roof. Her house, her rules. Of COURSE, under NO circumstances, should she be laying a hand on you. She is coming from a different age group (I am assuming) where spanking was permissible, to play devil's advocate, but it still does not excuse her. Only you can determine whether or not it is a situation that was provoked by you both and should let drop, or if the police should be involved. Be prepared, if you do call the police on your Mom, it could be the end of your relationship, so if you were Both participants in something that got out of control, well, only you can determine this. Best of luck with everything, I am sorry that the situation has been so difficult for you. Take care.
A
male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (7 September 2007):
You need to get out and away from your mother NOW. The longer you are there with her the more you will learn to hate her and the less chance the two of you will have to ever patch this one up in the future. Put a password on your laptop to lock her out of it and get yourself one of those briefcases with the locks on it. She has no rights to do things like this to you. You are in your twenties for christs sake - not in kindergarten and it is now the 21st century too.As for calling the cops - I should think if they were to come around there would be a better chance of them arresting your mother as surely she has no right to hit you. Thinking about it you could sue her for assult and then you would have enough money to get out of her place and get yourself sorted out independantly. I wish parents were nicer to their children though - they sometimes forget that their children have some very long and very deep memories that still remain there forty or fifty years later when the parents are then old and dependant on the decisions of their children. It seems like your mother should remember this fact of life.CheersTrevThe only thing that concerns me in your letter is that your age is in your young to mid twenties yet you have not accumulated enough money to stand up on your own yet.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (7 September 2007):
 Hi,
It sounds like you need to fly the nest preety quickly.
I had a terrible relationship with my mother when I was a teenager. She was always beating up on me, and never shouted at my brothers. I could never understand why though. I was naughty but not that bad, and no matter how hard I tried I didnt get on with her.
We get on OK now though, she is really good to me. I think she was jelous of the relationship I had with my dad. I was always spoilt by him and apparantly she hated it.
So maybe its something like that.
Try to stay calm with her, and dont get into row's its not worth it. Then as soon as you can get your own place, or share with a mate.
Good luck and keep your chin up. XX
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (7 September 2007):
 Hi
I dont understabd why your mum would act in this manner. i dont think that is right for her to be going through your things.You and your mum should try to get some counselling so that you can work through your dilemma.You should try speaking to your mum and let her know what your intentions are (to move out) and then if she would really like to keep you around then she would stop her sneeking ways and give you the space that you need.
Good Luck,mail me if you wanna talk
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