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Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.
I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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| Latest articles: REAL Love!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
Some tips for a happy marriage!
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
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We're so close, I really love this guy but he just wants to be friends, what can I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I need advice please! I am in love with this guy… and have been since I met him almost 7 months ago. After a couple of months, I told him I like him and after a while asked him how he felt. He said he only liked me as a mate. So, I wa...
A. 25 February 2007: I was so pleased to see you took my advice and smiled when I read how he kept trying to get in touch. Yep.... he missed you all right! ;o)
Well done! I hope everything works out just great for you.
Eve... (read in full...)
We're so close, I really love this guy but he just wants to be friends, what can I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I need advice please! I am in love with this guy… and have been since I met him almost 7 months ago. After a couple of months, I told him I like him and after a while asked him how he felt. He said he only liked me as a mate. So, I wa...
A. 18 February 2007: I think it would be better to stay off the PC for a while. You could block him but if another friend knows you're on and tells him then he'll wonder how he's blocked so be careful there. Spending time with your family is a good idea too! As far ... (read in full...)
Should I send her things in the post or should I meet up with her?
Q. so my GF and i broke up about 1 month ago. we were still talking until last week when i told her i needed "space", to think whether i could remain her "best friend", something she asked of me... we haven't spoken in a week. i receive a sms si...
A. 16 February 2007: I would send her the things like she asked. I wouldn't ask her to meet up, not yet anyway. That will only make you look foolish as you told her you needed space away from her to sort your head out about the "best friends" issue. No... send her ... (read in full...)
I love her but she writes down my behaviour and i'm always in the wrong!
Q. How do i get around this? I have been with my woman 3 years. I seem to be always wrong about something. If i`m tired,i`m falling asleep on her.If she`s tired,she`s tired,end of story. When we go shopping its a case of hours,if i look at something ...
A. 16 February 2007: Point out some of HER flaws! Next time she falls asleep on you pick her up for it. Play her at her own game, let her see how childish she's being. Get a diary and write down everything SHE does that annoys you! She won't like it but tough! Next ... (read in full...)
Why does this keep happening with guys? What's up with me?
Q. I haver dated 3 different guys within the time period between June and now (which is February). I am begining to become a bit unsettled by the fact that each guy I've been with has given me the clear impression that he's very interested in me. ...
A. 16 February 2007: Did you spend enough time getting to really KNOW these guys more before going to bed with them? I get the feeling you may have been intimate with them too soon, I way be way off here but it's just a feeling.
Lots of guys are out there to "play th... (read in full...)
What is true love? How do you know when you REALLY love a person?
Q. Dating is when you go out with someone...and having a boyfriend is like a relationship...but how do you really know when you love that person...does it mean that you know that that person is the person you want to spend your life with...does it mean ...
A. 16 February 2007: You are still very young to experience true love but this is the way I describe it.
If you truly love someone then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them... (read in full...)
He contradicts himself all the time, what does he REALLY want? I can't get my head around it at all!
Q. I had a boyfriend for about 7 months. He was the sweetest guy. He had his flaws, but I loved them all. There are a few things you should know about "John" and I. We live about an hour and a half away from each other. We only got to see each other on ...
A. 16 February 2007: He's just very confused at the moment but I think he does have a lot of feelings for you. His studies seem very important to him so I would give him his space and stop asking him round for the time being. I know this will be hard for you but I ... (read in full...)
I think I'm depressed but what exactly are the symptoms?
Q. How do you know when you are depressed? What are the tell tales that someone is depressed? and who can you go to, or talk to?...
A. 16 February 2007: Depression doesn't always start in the mind. You may begin to feel exhausted a lot of the time and feel as if you have no energy. You may have physical aches and pains for which there is no case. Here are some of the symptoms you may be feeling if ... (read in full...)
I'm really sick of my mum, sick of trying with her...
Q. ok my mum h8s me this may seem lyke all 13yr old girls goin through a stage but she really does im sic of tryin wif her any more and i think her and my dad r spilittin up (agen) so ill just live with him is it too late to even bother wif my mum nw ...
A. 16 February 2007: Hi Blue,
I'm sorry to hear your mum and dad might be splitting up. It must be horrible for you. I can understand you saying that you don't think you and your mum are getting on just now but think of all the pressure she's under with her and your... (read in full...)
Should I tell him the valentine card I sent him is from me?
Q. there is this boy ive liked before summer and i think hes so nice but he doesnt really know me and ive never really talked to him. i sent him a valentines card through my cousin and now he thinks my cousin fancies him and everyone keeps asking if ...
A. 16 February 2007: Yes, I'd tell him it was from you. At least you're being totally honest with him and who knows, he might want to get to know you better once he knows for sure.
Eve... (read in full...)
We're so close, I really love this guy but he just wants to be friends, what can I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I need advice please! I am in love with this guy… and have been since I met him almost 7 months ago. After a couple of months, I told him I like him and after a while asked him how he felt. He said he only liked me as a mate. So, I wa...
A. 16 February 2007: One way to see how he really feels about you is to have some space from him. It might be that he really does like you as more than a friend but he just doesn't know that yet as you are always together. And of course you have both gotten a lot ... (read in full...)
I want to kiss this girl badly but she doesn't want to, I'm only 12 so what will I do?
Q. Im 12 and i have already hit puberty ( it runs in the family ) and i am dating a girl but we dont really kiss or do anything but i want to kiss her so bad, but she dosnt want to and now i have started hitting on other girls what should i do? ...
A. 16 February 2007: Like CD says, I would hold back for now, she's more or less told you she's not ready yet. That doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't like you, she just doesn't feel ready to do that so don't push her or you'll only push her away. Continue being her ... (read in full...)
I have a thing for my sister's best mate, in fact I think I'm in love with her...
Q. Hi, I have always had a thing for my sisters best mate since i was 10 and she was 13, she's always been nice to me and well i'm now 19 and she's 22, we lost contact for a few years because my sister and her lost contact. Recently we got in contact ...
A. 16 February 2007: You could always let your sister know that you really like her friend and ask her to put a word in for you, see what she says. Ask her to do it in a way so that she doesn't actually know you fancy her, for example. "What do you think of my brother ... (read in full...)
She stopped e-mailing me after I found out she was living with a man! Should I just move on?
Q. I've been rekindling an old high school flame and I'm having a lot of trouble lately. A few years after a messy divorce she has just (late 2006) relocated out of the area and is now living on the east coast. We had a short visit over the holidays ...
A. 16 February 2007: It takes two people to make a successful relationship and if she's stopped contacting you I'd say she's telling you something there. She knows your number so I'd give her some space for now and move on. If she ever wants to get back in touch then ... (read in full...)
It's hurting me that she is dating another guy...how do I deal with this?
Q. i've been lookin forward to meeting this girl i'm crazy about! she told me herself that she's goin out for a meal with someone. i know for sure it's a boy because she didn't tell me. we are goin cinema, day after. it's so hurtin she's datin another ...
A. 16 February 2007: I would still go out with her the next day. Just be yourself, be friendly and remember and open the doors for her. Get to know her and just have fun! This other boy might come on too strong and she'll be put off by that. Just relax, have fun and ... (read in full...)
I'm losing interest in sex! Is there something wrong with me?
Q. I’m not bothered about wanting sex anymore is something wrong with me? I’m a guy who’s 24 years old and I’m really not bothered about wanting sex anymore. The truth is I’ve never actually had it, I’m still a virgin, I’m abstaining from sex till ma...
A. 16 February 2007: There's nothing wrong with you, let's face it, there's more to enjoy in life than just sex! And sex is just sex unless you're with that special someone. There's nothing wrong in wanting to abstain from sex either, when you see the STD's going ... (read in full...)
My husband has no hobbies and no friends. How can I get our marriage back on track?
Q. I have been married to a kind and loving man for 9 years. It's a good marriage, but like everyone we have our ups and downs. One issue in particular raises its ugly head every couple of years. My husband has no friends. He has no interests or ...
A. 15 February 2007: You know what his problem is don't you? He's a couch potato and watches too much TV! If you can't get rid of the TV then book a weekend away, just the two of you. Take the initiative here and BOOK the weekend! (Even if you need to call his work ... (read in full...)
My husband and I have separated (but still live together due to financial circumstances) He's a changed man now he's met someone new. Why was he never like this when we were together?
Q. Hi - my husband and I recently agreed to separate, we had been drifting apart for years mainly due to his job in a record company which entailed a lot of nights out, socialising etc. I understood this requirement of the job but he got into ...
A. 15 February 2007: When he was with you he fell into a rut. Your married life was habitual and he took you very much for granted. He only saw you as "nagging" him and was bored with his lot in life. You too were sick to the teeth of how things were going hence the ... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend back? Any ideas anyone?
Q. I have cheated on my boyfriend of 3.5 yrs. We were going through rough times just bought a house, was turning into the party house but I wanted to settle down. I told him I didn't love him anymore and we went to the bar, he continuously ignored me, ...
A. 15 February 2007: Why don't you write him a letter or send him a card from the heart. Say to him in it that it has been 5 months now and you realise just how much you're still in love with him. Let him know you were under a lot of stress at the time and wanted ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my friend making me look a fool all the time?
Q. My friends are constantly patronising me and making jokes about the stupid things i say or do. I admit that i come out with the occasional "blond" comment and yes i do do stupid or naive things every now and then but who doesnt? The wors...
A. 15 February 2007: Just be a bit more aware of what you're going to say BEFORE you say it! And hey, if you do say something "blonde" YOU be the first to say duh... blonde moment there! If you try and not let it get to you so much then you'll find they'll laugh WITH ... (read in full...)
My husbands affair is over but the women wont go away!! Any advice to get rid of her ??
Q. My husband has had an affair which is over.The woman involved keeps phoning and texting both of us.She is now involving work and his ex wife.She says all she wants is to talk to him and needs answers.I told him he was not to have any contact with ...
A. 15 February 2007: If she's so desperate to talk with him then tell him to say to her he'll meet with her. What she doesn't know is.... YOU GO TOO! There's nothing she can't say to him that she can't say in front of you too and of course your husband has nothing to ... (read in full...)
He feels pressured for sex, I feel neglected, What can I do to make this right again!?
Q. My bf and I dont see eye to eye sexually and its now causing major issues. Been together 4 years. Love each other immensely, but I'm down about the whole relationship because of the sex. its not an overnight thing, and has been going on for a ...
A. 15 February 2007: Okay, if you want to get your sex life back on track then I the best thing to do is abstain! Sounds contradictory? You have tried talking to him and he feels pressured so you know that doesn't work. The more you try to talk about it the more ... (read in full...)
I don't want to open myself up to the possiblity of dating a man who has a double life
Q. Hello All Dating Experts out there, I have a question about a man I have met - please do advise... I've met him through a professional relationship - I am a flat owner and he is my Freeholder (like a landlord to the overall building). We've had...
A. 15 February 2007: I think you're quite right to be dubious about this guy. If he was really keen on you (and was single) he would jump at the chance to take you out, EVEN on Valentine's night, in fact, I'd go so far as to say if he was REALLY single he'd have had it ... (read in full...)
I think I am gay
Q. The thing is i haven't fancied any girls in ages and i used to be really into girls. i still wana have sex with girls but only ones i have had experiences with in the past bar a couple. Sometimes i think i am just bi but im not sure. When i see a ...
A. 15 February 2007: Just for the record, I don't think you're gay. You are just a bit more sensible than your friends, more mature for your age than they are. What you are feeling is perfectly normal, you're just growing up love. Lots of feelings and emotions rush ... (read in full...)
I flirted with someone, felt him and he rubbed my breasts, is this classed as cheating?
Q. Hi I need your help, I love my boyfriend to bits, I would do anything for him. Last year I flirted with a guy I knew, my boyfriend is ok with me flirting, but I let him touch my breasts and I rubbed him. I NEVER kissed him or had sexual intercour...
A. 15 February 2007: Put the shoe on the other foot. Your boyfriend was away for a week with his work. He was lonely one night and this woman came over. They didn't kiss but he fondled her breasts and she rubbed his penis. No sex or kissing involved! But he liked ... (read in full...)
How can i get my girlfriend to try anal sex and three somes?
Q. How can i get my girlfriend to try anal sex and three somes, these are my fetishes and would like to fulfil them. I've asked her and asked her but she keeps changing subject when i mention them. How can i approach her with the question? ...
A. 15 February 2007: You've already approached her with the question and she's changed the subject! SHE IS NOT INTERESTED BUDDY!
Eve... (read in full...)
Any ideas what to get my boyfriend of 3 years for his 25th birthday?
Q. its my bf's 25th b'day in about a week and I have no idea what to get him, we have been together 3 years and Im sick of getting the same thing every year (clothes and alcohol), anyone have any tips you can give when buying something different for ...
A. 15 February 2007: http://www.menkind.co.uk/ProductDetailsHori.asp?ProductID=11091
THIRD TIME LUCKY WITH THE COIN SORTER!
Eve... (read in full...)
Any ideas what to get my boyfriend of 3 years for his 25th birthday?
Q. its my bf's 25th b'day in about a week and I have no idea what to get him, we have been together 3 years and Im sick of getting the same thing every year (clothes and alcohol), anyone have any tips you can give when buying something different for ...
A. 15 February 2007: Ball scratcher link
http://www.boysstuff.co.uk/search.asp?searchtext=ball+scratcher
Coin sorter (link below)
http://www.menkind.co.uk/ProductDetailsHori.asp?ProductID=11091
Hope they both come out this time!
Eve
... (read in full...)
Any ideas what to get my boyfriend of 3 years for his 25th birthday?
Q. its my bf's 25th b'day in about a week and I have no idea what to get him, we have been together 3 years and Im sick of getting the same thing every year (clothes and alcohol), anyone have any tips you can give when buying something different for ...
A. 15 February 2007: Hi Lisa,
It's always a nightmare trying to think the best thing to get them isn't it? Here are a few ideas for you. Why don't you buy him an electronic coin sorter? That looks cool. (link below)
http://ww... (read in full...)
I care about both men in different ways and don't know what to do for the best...?
Q. I broke up with this guy that I was dating for 2 and a half years because I didn't feel compatible with him at the time. He was my first everything. He was the sweetest most gentle guy and I knew he loved me but I wasn't quite ready for love. We ...
A. 15 February 2007: When reading your letter you said your first love and you weren't compatible, you argued a lot of the time and the only thing that held you together was the fact you were each other's first loves.... You have tested he waters with the ex and ... (read in full...)
We've been together 6 years and he's asking me for a 2 month break so he can be sure I'm the right one!!!!
Q. hi. ive been dumped well it feels like iv been dumped he says we are on a break for exacty 2 months and that he wasnt goin to change his mind,he says if he loves me after 2 months then he'll know he really loves me..wat is this about. we've been tog...
A. 15 February 2007: I think he really just wants to test his feelings for you. You can't read his mind. It may be that he is crazy for you and is thinking about settling down but just wants to be sure (hence the break.) On the other hand it may be that he isn't as ... (read in full...)
I have really fallen for my friend but am scared to tell her in case it ruins our friendship. Any advice?
Q. i have fallen for a friend that i have known for ages. we grew up together and recently my feelings for her have grown to the point where i can't stop thinking about her. we are really close, even our families think we are seeing each other. i want ...
A. 15 February 2007: I think the chemistry will be there with her too, especially as your families think you are seeing one another. I would continue exactly as you are with her, ask her out for a meal one night or to a movie. I'm sure you'll get the vibes from her ... (read in full...)
How can we move forward in our relationship?
Q. hello all. about 4 months ago, my Fiance and I were having problems and she decided to end it based on the things i have been doing over our 9 year relationship. since we have been broken up we have been talking almost every day. We have seen each ...
A. 14 February 2007: Well you're ready to move forward now, it's your fiance who is still "stuck". Maybe she's getting pressure from her family about the two of you, maybe she doesn't want to get back with you and just doesn't want to hurt you or maybe she IS mixed up ... (read in full...)
Has anyone got any tips for moving on?
Q. I got dumped about a week ago, but I'm finding it really hard to let go of my ex. I can't stop thinking and hoping that we'll get back together. Has anyone got any tips for moving on?...
A. 14 February 2007: I'm sorry to hear you and your ex broke up but hey you'll probably break up with a few more before you find the right one. Here is a site you might find useful.
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Break-Up
I hope this helps ;o)
Eve... (read in full...)
I am 13 and have this imaginery friend. Am I crazy?
Q. Hey. Im 13 years old and I have an imaginary friend called jeremiahh. I dont know why I have it. At School I talk to him and everyone things Im talking to myself and He makes me Do things and I get the Blame. I can Really See Him. Am I Crazy??...
A. 14 February 2007: Lots of children like yourself invent imaginary friends so you're not alone there and to them they're VERY real. Imaginery friends appear for different reasons.
Sometimes children get separated from their parents (boarding school is a good exa... (read in full...)
How can I stop thinking about this girl? I asked her out but she just wants to be friends.
Q. I need help. There's a girl I like who I asked out ages ago who said no but still said she liked me. I know this because she added me on myspace. Anyway I now need to find a way to stop thinking about her. I know I don't see her that much as I wor...
A. 14 February 2007: The first thing you need to do is delete her from your "My Space" account. Put your energies into something positive. Keep busy, take up a new hobby, go out with friends, throw yourself into your work! Tell yourself she wasn't right for you, she ... (read in full...)
Help!!! My mother in law is back and now I feel like an old whore!
Q. This is now VERY serious. I had posted about my mother in law who is 68(I am 57) and who acted funny over our lunch date by telling me I had a nice bust and by asking whether I caressed it while I was alone. When I went back home that day I fanta...
A. 14 February 2007: I have been following your story and you were so wrong to let her touching you to go on for as long as it did. You need a BIG reality check! You're not the first woman to be turned on by another woman but your mother in law????? Jeeeeeeeeeze... ... (read in full...)
Today is Valentine's Day... but my heart is broken to pieces.... please help me.
Q. I need your help and advice please... My partner of two years used me when she needed my help, I stood by her,, I helped her the best I could, and never left her alone, but then I became like a tools for her which was just around for her use. I n...
A. 14 February 2007: It's horrible when we put our "all" into a relationship and get nothing back in return. You have obviously thought about all of this carefully and you can SEE for yourself how it was all very one sided, you putting in all the effort and her just ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has just dumped me, I think she wants to sample the scenery. How do I move on?
Q. Relationship has finally ended after 7 months and this is the third time we have split. The day before valentines day and 2 weeks before my 21st birthday. We had an hour chat over the phone. Her feelings no longer exist for me, she has tried ha...
A. 14 February 2007: Good for you ;o) Go out there and get someone who WILL love you the way you deserve to be loved and don't waste any more time on her, she's only playing with your emotions.
Eve... (read in full...)
We met online, we dated, had a great time but now she's ignoring me! What's going on here?
Q. met a woman online a month ago. She's in her early 40's and I'm 39. I was very attracted to her and when we met, I was even more attracted to her. We met to watch a game at a local bar and half way through, left and had an intimate dinner...
A. 13 February 2007: I would let her know that you had a good time with her and thought she did too. If she's not interested in keeping with touch could she have the courtesy to let you know and leave it at that. If she gets back to you great... if she doesn't then you ... (read in full...)
Is the traditional male attitude of being a protector in the family is justified anymore?
Q. Marriage no more seems to be one man's job for it to work. As i see gender roles becoming quite varied, i wonder if the traditional male attitude of being a protector in the family is justified anymore. I mean i see married women who commute ...
A. 13 February 2007: Lots of people in todays society believe that things should be 50-50 in a marriage. I, however AM a bit old fashioned and have believed that there should only be one captain of a ship! Men and women have their own special gifts and one is there to ... (read in full...)
I'm new at all this dating stuff and have never had a boyfriend. I think my boyfriend wants more than just a kiss. Help!!!!
Q. I have got a problem with my boyfriend. He is 2 years older than me and had a few girlfriends. But I had no boyfriend before. But I don´t know how to say this to him. And I think that he wants more than just a kiss next time. What should I do in th...
A. 13 February 2007: YOU are in charge of what happens regarding the "I think he wants more" bit. Morals are a great thing in this day and age but they're slipping fast. Don't EVER be cajouled or pressured into doing anything you don't feel ready to do. Let him know ... (read in full...)
I have liked this girl for 8 years but we've never dated. She's just came back into my life and I'm so in love with her but she's taken... Advice?????
Q. Hello, im a 25 year old dude with a problem thats around 7 or 8 years old. Yes its a girl, who i'm truly madly deeply in love with. She's seeing this guy from down the country and lived with him for the summer, that was fine cos it was easier f...
A. 13 February 2007: I think there's a lot more going on in your mind than just her. Apart from this woman, how is your life going at the moment? Why would you ever wish for death? Are you being serious here or just over dramatic? Email me if you want to talk about ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has just dumped me, I think she wants to sample the scenery. How do I move on?
Q. Relationship has finally ended after 7 months and this is the third time we have split. The day before valentines day and 2 weeks before my 21st birthday. We had an hour chat over the phone. Her feelings no longer exist for me, she has tried ha...
A. 13 February 2007: It's always sad when a relationship breaks up, especially for the one on the receiving end who has to pick up the pieces and move on alone but hey... it happens all the time, you're not a single statistic but one of thousands. You have 2 options ... (read in full...)
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