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Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.
I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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| Latest articles: REAL Love!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
Some tips for a happy marriage!
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
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I cant get her out of my mind!
Q. This is a bit strange for me to be doing this, but i just want to hear what everyone else things. I met this lovely women 6 months ago, we really hit it off so well.After a few months she asked me to move in with her and the kids.I of course s...
A. 9 February 2007: She told you she was seeing someone else, (however casual). You're right to let her stew! I would let Valentine's day go by without sending her a card. She'll be expecting one from you, taking it for granted that you are crazy on her no doubt but ... (read in full...)
Want to make a move with this girl on Valentines day... but don't want to scare her off. Any tips?
Q. I'm a thirtysomething man who's not had a real gf other than short term (mostly drunken) 'encounters'. We have a group of friends that have been hanging out for a few years now, the men the same age as me, the ladies in their early twenties (my best ...
A. 9 February 2007: I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Let me know how it goes okay? ;o)
Eve... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my wife's sex ban will drive a permanent wedge between us...
Q. My partner of 6 years and I recently split up. There were a couple of problems, sex (or lack of it) being a major cause of a lot of them. She wouldnt have sex with me for months at a time and I basically cracked and left her. We have had 3 kids ...
A. 9 February 2007: I was so pleased to read that things are going well for you. With a lot of patience and understanding (from both sides) then you'll get on the right track again. Continue to talk to one another and BE there to LISTEN. Women love to talk, you may ... (read in full...)
She broke up with me and I did nothing wrong! What will I do?
Q. Things were fine with us until one day she came to me asking me to break up with her. I disagree cos i did nothing. She came back the folowing day broke up with me because of what she heard about me but i still love her very much. Please what s...
A. 9 February 2007: Hmmmmm some friend Scarlet! Seems he might want your girlfriend for himself. You don't say how long you and your girlfriend were together but if you don't both have trust in a relationship then you have nothing. Do you believe what she says about ... (read in full...)
I can't get a boyfriend
Q. hi,im really upset because i cant get a boyfriend and every one else can what can i do?p;ease write back a.s.a.p thank you xxxxxxxxxxx...
A. 8 February 2007: What should you do??? You are only 10-12 years old and shouldn't even be THINKING of boys at this age! You should be concentrating on your studies and finding out more about yourself and what you want to be when you grow up.
There will be PLENT... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is so lax, is this what he's going to be like if we move in together?
Q. I am 18, my boyfriend,20. We have been together 4 years. We are best friend also and spend all our time outside of work together. Whether that be, he sits in my room watching one thing, whilst I sit downstairs with my mum watching another, or us ...
A. 8 February 2007: If I were you and he continued to be like this I'd tell him you're scrapping the idea for now. It sounds to me like he isn't bothered and you shouldn't need to do all the work, ESPECIALLY where his bank statement is concerned!
Like you rightly ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is needy, jealous, overbearing, irrational, temperamental, possessive and a control freak but says she's NOT insecure!!!!
Q. Dear Cupid Imagine the most overbearing, needy, hyper-jealous, irrational, temperamental, possessive control-freak and thats my girlfriend. She's never been cheated on, I've been dead honest, but she has witnessed friends getting hurt. She believes...
A. 8 February 2007: Tell her the friends she's witnessed getting hurt weren't going out with YOU! Tell her you'd never intentionally hurt her and she needs to trust you more. It sounds to me as if she doesn't have much confidence and self esteem. Let her do this ... (read in full...)
Is there a difference between dating a "man" and dating a "boy?"
Q. Hello, I'm an 18 year old University student. This is going to make me sound lame, but I didn't date much in High School. I mean I had plenty of opportunities and 1 or 2 flings, but no real relationships. Lately I've been getting close to this ...
A. 8 February 2007: There's not that many years between you. Women are usually more mature than men when they're younger and that's why they prefer to date men a little older than themselves. When you dated boys in the past, you yourself were just a girl. Now you're ... (read in full...)
I am a woman and am attracted to another woman, how do I find out if she's attracted to me?
Q. I am attracted to another woman. However I don't know if she is attracted to women. Any suggestions on how to approach her with this?...
A. 8 February 2007: Talk to her and strike up a conversation about a "friend" you know who likes another "friend" of the same sex. Ask her how she feels about this and would she ever have feelings for someone of the same sex. I'm sure she'll soon let you know.
... (read in full...)
I am 11 years old and am starting to have feelings for girls but I'm not very confident, will I ever get my first kiss?
Q. I'm 11, soon to be 12, and have "no life". i mean, my step-brother is always talking about girls and how he should go out with them. he has many friends and says that girls think he's funny and nice. i am well, kinda strange. most kids in school ...
A. 8 February 2007: Your dad still sees you as a kid, he doesn't realise you're growing up quick. Talk to your dad, ask him how old he was when he had his first date, his first kiss etc. You might be surprised what he says. Getting used to talking with him will help ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend prefers to masturbate than have sex with me any more!
Q. Hi Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 and a bit years now, and i love him very much, but.. at the start of our relationship we had sex every nite we spent together then it steadied off until it was once a week now we barely have sex a...
A. 8 February 2007: It's perfectly normal for guys to masturbate but if you feel he's doing it more than being intimate with you then you need to let him know how you feel about it. Sit with him and explain how you feel very rejected by him, as if he doesn't want to ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my wife's sex ban will drive a permanent wedge between us...
Q. My partner of 6 years and I recently split up. There were a couple of problems, sex (or lack of it) being a major cause of a lot of them. She wouldnt have sex with me for months at a time and I basically cracked and left her. We have had 3 kids ...
A. 8 February 2007: I would be there for your wife just now. Why don't you make enquiries about a grievance counsellor then ask her to go, tell her you'll go with her if it helps. They will help her deal with her pain so she can move on again with her life.
In th... (read in full...)
Are inter-racial relationships a bad thing?
Q. I am white and i have a black boyfriend is there ANYTHING wrong with that? ...
A. 8 February 2007: I personally don't think there is anything wrong with it. The skin colour shouldn't matter, it's the person inside that matters.
No matter where you go though, there will always be someone making some remark against it but don't let it worry yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hits me but I still love him, what should I do?
Q. i am in love but its all wrong its not like when i was little and love was easy and...... he hits me and then after he is really sorry and he is not a wife beater its just i do things wrong somtimes. I know its all my fault and i know that i ...
A. 8 February 2007: A man has absolutely no excuse for hitting a woman, even if she DOES do things wrong sometimes. He's perfect yes? You seem terrified of this man and you don't know what to do about it. Your confidence and self esteem are at an all time low too so ... (read in full...)
Do I continue to fight for what my heart wants, or do I just let him go?
Q. here is my situation; my boyfriend just broke up with me almost 3 weeks ago. we were together for 7 months, and prior to making our relationship official, he knew that i was in the process of ending a long distant marriage, and that i did have an ...
A. 8 February 2007: If you love him then fight for him! Tell him it was in the past and you were younger then. You're older and wiser and KNOW what you want in life now. You're not proud of what you did in the past, you were confused and your marriage wasn't going ... (read in full...)
Want to make a move with this girl on Valentines day... but don't want to scare her off. Any tips?
Q. I'm a thirtysomething man who's not had a real gf other than short term (mostly drunken) 'encounters'. We have a group of friends that have been hanging out for a few years now, the men the same age as me, the ladies in their early twenties (my best ...
A. 8 February 2007: Why don't you tell her you really enjoy hanging out with her and does she fancy going for dinner with you one night? Then make it valentine's night? I'm sure she'd jump at the chance. Once out with her just be yourself but go easy on the alcohol ... (read in full...)
She broke up with me and I did nothing wrong! What will I do?
Q. Things were fine with us until one day she came to me asking me to break up with her. I disagree cos i did nothing. She came back the folowing day broke up with me because of what she heard about me but i still love her very much. Please what s...
A. 8 February 2007: Why did she break up with you? What were her reasons? SHE must have felt something was missing from your relationship to break up with you? Can you give some more details?
Eve... (read in full...)
Please help me to heal after my break up
Q. My affair of a year has just ended. I knew it wouldnt last forever since im married and had no plans to leave my husband but I also fell for this guy and hard. We have had such a connection on a deeper level and now he is moving on to try and star...
A. 8 February 2007: You must have known that this affair would never last? If you feel hurt, can you imagine the hurt your husband would be feeling if he were to find out about this affair? Think about HIM and concentrate on making your marriage work. There were ... (read in full...)
Do I still have a chance with her?
Q. i was dating a white lady until one day she saw my cam opened and she got ungry with me she said i shouldn't call her any more. do i still have a chance? we're in different countries....
A. 8 February 2007: I get from your letter that you're not white? She probably thought you were and was shocked when she saw you weren't. She's told you not to call her anymore so I would take this as a no, you DON'T have a chance with her.
Someone like that is ... (read in full...)
She's bad for me but I can't leave her, what will I do?
Q. i have a mate of mine, who everyone hates because she said some really nasty stuff about them, but shes a bad influence on me, but if i stop being mates with her then she will have no one, and i mean no one! ande i love her really, but i just cant ...
A. 8 February 2007: If you're a true friend to her then you need to sit and tell her that her attitude is making people dislike her very much. She will have to change her ways if she wants to keep her friends and that includes you! Tell her what she does that's wrong ... (read in full...)
What's my boyfriend playing at? One minute he loves me, now he wants to break up!!!
Q. My boyfriend of 17 months just told me he doesn't love me anymore, I am so confused. Just the weekend before we went to a party with his family and I was introduced as the future fiance! Then one night I come home and he says he doesn't want to ...
A. 8 February 2007: I think the idea of you being his future fiance scared him. He obviously feels he's not ready to settle down and has had a good think about it all. He told you he "didn't want to get married." See what I mean? Hearing you being introduced as his ... (read in full...)
This is driving me crazy. After 2 years wouldnt she know if ahe wanted to be with me or not?
Q. Hey everyone i would appreciate it if you guys would help me decode a very difficult girl because it is essentially ruining my life at the moment. she put us on a "break" a month ago and says she doesnt want anything "serious".. after a 2 year ...
A. 8 February 2007: She does know, she just doesn't want to hurt you. She probably does like someone else and says she doesn't know to let you down gently. You are still very taken with her and 2 years is a long time to be together but she's now decided she doesn't ... (read in full...)
I need advice on my first kiss!!! How, when and where???
Q. Hey all, I need advice on my first kiss. Me and my girlfriend really want to kiss, but we never have privacy, friends, all the time. Her parents won't let her come, to just see me. Only times I do have alone with her are not really alone. I have, ...
A. 8 February 2007: You are so young, possibly too young to start thinking about having a serious relationship. Maybe you could walk her home from school one day and kiss her then? Or meet up with her when you're out with friends then steal away from them and give ... (read in full...)
My mom got angry at me for being raped among other things! How do I get my parents to leave me alone?? I don't love them!
Q. I haven't been talking with my parents for several months. This is because I have had a bad childhood because of them and am just now realizing all the hell I went through. I guess I've kept it supressed for a long time - I've just moved out and ...
A. 7 February 2007: You've been through a time of it haven't you? Do you have any brothers or sisters or are you an only child? Your mom and dad seem very self centred people. From what I read into your letter your mom has always been the one that calls the shots, ... (read in full...)
We are like a couple, but he doesn't want our friendship to progress into a relationship b/c I cheated on him the last time. Am I wasting my time w/ him?
Q. Hi please could you help,Im confused. This time last year I met a great guy and we were together for about 4 months. Unfortunately I was unfaithful to him and he found out about this, I keep on asking myself why I cheated but I dont know why beca...
A. 7 February 2007: He's shielding himself from any more hurt. He likes you and is even a little jealous when you go out in case you meet someone else hence the text messages to keep his eye on you so to speak. However, from what you write, it sounds to me that you ... (read in full...)
Am I too sensitive?
Q. hello everyone, I have a problem with my boyfriend of 10 months, he can't seem to take me seriously. Recently he started picking on me Again and i couldn't take it and started yelling at him to leave me alone and stop being annoying. Basicall...
A. 7 February 2007: He's been with you for 10 months, he should KNOW what hurts you. If he had any feelings for you he would never do this and get you all upset. Why do you want to be with someone like this who treats you this way?
There are lots of guys out ther... (read in full...)
Is he trying to have the best of both worlds by coming around for my company no strings attached while still getting to socialise with his friends as a single person?
Q. A guy who I have been interested in for awhile has a reputation for being a bit of a player. He paid me attention on and off for 6 months but recently has been visiting me once or twice a week. During one of these visits he brought his best friend ...
A. 7 February 2007: He seems nice enough but just watch he's not just taking advantage of your hospitality, especially as he's started to take a friend with him, you give them both dinner then watch a movie, stays with you when he wants to (even although there's no ... (read in full...)
He wants me to choose between drinking and him!!
Q. Me and my boyfriend of over 2 years just recently broke up. We are still very much in love, but he doesn't want to be together unless I change. The main thing is that he wants me to stop drinking alcohol because he doesn't want to be with anyone ...
A. 7 February 2007: Why does he want you to give up drinking so much? Did you make a fool of yourself in the past through it? I would compromise with him and tell him you won't drink when you're with him but if you go out with your friends then if you want to have a ... (read in full...)
Brokenhearted by his lies but still in love!!
Q. I've known this guy for 10 years and we were supposed to have something back then. However, we didn't and continued on with our separate lives, all the while having other relationships. Over the years, we remained in touch and friends, but we always ...
A. 7 February 2007: He did try to tell you a number of times but was just frightened that it would make you run. He probably knows how sentimental you are and just didn't want to risk it. He would also know though that we was not being entirely straight with you and ... (read in full...)
I gave my partner a second chance but now am plagued by doubt!!
Q. I have just learned that my partner of some 3 years has been ringing chat/sex/party lines on a regular continuous basis. We have a good relationship so I thought, four children between us , the house etc., this is our second relationship for both of ...
A. 7 February 2007: If he wants another chance then there must be rules! Rule number 1 - he takes all the phone numbers of other women off his phone (you be there when he does it, then check it afterwards). If he really loves you and is genuinely sorry then he'll ... (read in full...)
I want to see where this man lives but he says it's not convenient at the moment, has he something to hide?
Q. Dear Readers Please help! I met a man 7 months ago on an online dating site. He was married but separated from his wife. We dated, and eventually began a sexual relationship. However, he has never invited me to his home (or his Dad's home, wher...
A. 7 February 2007: Hmmmm this all sounds kind of dodgy to me. What do I honestly think? Okay, I'll give it to you straight. I don't think he IS seperated from his wife, I think he's spinning you a yarn love. He's telling you she's vindictive and horrible so you'll ... (read in full...)
Do I love her like I loved my ex?
Q. 4 Days Into Our R-Ship and i dont know what 2 buy her for v-day i'm 24 i'm dateing a 16 year old girl that goes to collage (i know 16 is young but who cares in the united kingdom u can sleep with a 16 year old girl) i really like her so much...
A. 7 February 2007: 4 days into the relationship and you already think you love her? That's a bit quick is it not? I don't know how long you were with your ex but you hardly know this girl, you think she's cute, that's all.
Get to know her much better first th... (read in full...)
Why does my brother treat me like dirt all the time?
Q. My brother is really annoying, he's 12, but he is always having a go at me! he treats me like dirt! and ya i love him, who doesnt love their brother! but i just need some time to myself! i need 2 get away! and i cant go 4 any walks or anything like ...
A. 6 February 2007: Brothers can be a nuisance sometimes can't they? He's wanting attention, that's why he carries on the way he does. Why don't you BOTH go out a walk together, have an adventure! You'll find he'll open up and talk to you if you just show him a bit ... (read in full...)
How Can I Not Orgasm When I'm With My Girlfriend???
Q. My girlfriend is becoming increasingly worried about our sex lives, we have been together for a bit now and when we do have sex i cant seem to orgasm, this is not just effecting her its effecting me, She sees it as i dont love her or find her ...
A. 6 February 2007: Oh dear, she's being so unfair to you saying that to you that you can't love her! That would put immense pressure on you. You make love to her, you start to think about your orgasm, what she said, you want to prove her wrong, you worry because ... (read in full...)
I really love her, but at times she can be a complete cow, what can I do ??
Q. Hi, iam 22 and iam in love with what sometimes seems to be the perfect partner. In person we are great together, with the odd minor quibble, otherwise everything is fine and we're both very much in true love. Okay the problem is phone calls, m...
A. 6 February 2007: I think she resents the fact that you both live so far apart and would even want you to move there to be with her but just doesn't want to say it. Would you ever consider this?
Even when she says there's nothing wrong, she just wants you to probe... (read in full...)
Do We Really Have a Future Together?
Q. Should i break up for good or not? I am 28 and i have been dating my boyfriend for 6 years. We have split up before a few times but always got back together after a few weeks. Recently though thinks seem to be getting worse, we argue constant...
A. 6 February 2007: You have got into a habit of being dependent on your boyfriend. You know it's not working but the thought of you being on your own scares the hell out of you! If you stay with him though, it will just get worse and you'll become more and more ... (read in full...)
We Split Up But How Do I Move On?
Q. My partner and i just split up and i need to get over her because she always moans about my families mistakes along the past and she always brings the past up, she never lets go. Her family never does wrong in her eyes. Her mom knows our ...
A. 6 February 2007: I think you were right to split up, you're obviously not compatible.
1. Realize what happened and why. You have to make it clear to yourself that this is not all your fault. It takes two people to make a relationship start, and one discorda... (read in full...)
Why did he hide a new girls number??
Q. My partner took a girls number at his new job and never told me (i checked his phone seen the messages in the deleted box) - he knows that it would cause arguments if i thought he was in touch with someone new. I seen his phone bill lying around a...
A. 6 February 2007: Okay, take the number down and then confront him with it. Ask him who's number it is! Tell him you know he must know as it's on his phone bill. If he doesn't come up with an answer then tell him you're going to call it to find out (even although ... (read in full...)
I cant get her out of my mind!
Q. This is a bit strange for me to be doing this, but i just want to hear what everyone else things. I met this lovely women 6 months ago, we really hit it off so well.After a few months she asked me to move in with her and the kids.I of course s...
A. 6 February 2007: If I were you I'd move out of there until she gets her head together. She obviously still has feelings for her ex, she isn't over him, plain and simple. She falls out with you and it's straight on to the ex, exaggerating stories so she looks ... (read in full...)
My friend has had six months from hell! How do I help her cope?
Q. my friend has had the 6 months from hell. seriously. her mum died in a car accident last October, then her dad died from prostate cancer in December, after her Dad's funeral she went round to a friends house where they got into a big arguement. He ...
A. 6 February 2007: Get her to watch a movie called "The Secret." It will build her up and help her regain her confidence again. You watch it with her. I will give you the link, it costs $4.99 (£2.50) to watch but is worth every penny. It will make her see her life ... (read in full...)
My turkish man wants to be with me! Should I marry him or not?
Q. I went on holiday last year to turkey for 8 weeks. While i was there i met a wonderful man. We became really good friends and soon found myself falling for him big time. He told me he felt the same and we soon became an item. We stayed in contact ...
A. 6 February 2007: When I read your question I had alarm bells ring inside me right away. For one, why is it YOU are always the one going over to see him? Why don't you ask him over on HOLIDAY to start with to see you and learn more about your culture? He would be ... (read in full...)
I like her but I she might fancy another guy whom she flirts with. How do I tell her, I want more than a friendship?
Q. Hi I really enjoy the company of one of my friends, however, over christmas and new year I have become to want more from her, I am unsure whether she feels the same. One of my friends cousins hangs out with us aswell he is 11yrs younger than her, I ...
A. 6 February 2007: Next time you go out with her as a friend, tell her you really like her and would like to go out again on a "date." If she likes you more than a friend too then she'll agree. It may be she likes you more than a friend too but is just shy to tell ... (read in full...)
He masturbates every morning before work...is this normal in along term relationship?
Q. my boyfriend masterbates in the morning before work? i feel that i don't satifiy him and i also feel rejected? should I feel this way or is it normal to masterbate in a relatonship Please help this is destroying our relationship of 5 years....
A. 6 February 2007: I'll think you'll find that every male masterbates, it's perfectly normal and healthy, how much they masterbate is a matter of preference. Just because he does this doesn't mean he feels any less for you, it's just a way of releasing tension in ... (read in full...)
My mum died, at first my GF was great, but now shes asked me not to talk, now I have no one to talk to about it!!!
Q. This is a strange question. My mum died and at first my girlfriend was amazing help. Then she went on holiday, whilst she was away i was having trouble dealing with the lose of my mum and i shared my feelings with her. When she returned from her ...
A. 6 February 2007: I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. Your girlfriend is very young and doesn't know how to handle the situation. Let her know you don't want her to fix anything or DO anything about it, only for her to listen to you. Your mom was the ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want a physical relationship with me because he fears the emotional consequences. What can I do to convince him otherwise?
Q. I have been 'dating' a guy for over 6 months now who I really like but it is basically a platonic friendship as he is unwilling to enter into a physical reationship. He says this is because he does not want to have to deal with the emotional ...
A. 6 February 2007: This man may have been hurt deeply in the past, hence the reason for his celibacy. For now I would advise you to respect his wishes and continue to be friends with him and let the trust build. You can't force him to move on to intimacy when he ... (read in full...)
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