A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need your help and advice please...My partner of two years used me when she needed my help, I stood by her,, I helped her the best I could, and never left her alone, but then I became like a tools for her which was just around for her use. I never felt my love and my actions been appreciated. It was all the time about her and what she wanted in life and not me, even though she was telling she loves me. She was so selfish in everything she was doing or deciding, I never felt I have been touched with tender loving care….I never understood her love ? and now I say to myself I was so stupid to carry on for such a long time, we got separated recently, it is a very hard time for me and I feel emotionally hurt. I try to find answers to why, and how, and etc? but I can’t!!. For her this is finished, just like a toy that she finished playing with and got the satisfaction out of it and now put aside or even throw away, but I have left off with so much emotional baggage to pick up my life and move on, and I really feel so bitter about the whole things. I feel I have been used, I feel cheated as my love for her was so pure and honest. I really don’t know how can ANYBODY do this to anyone…We had our good times as well, but overall it was not a good balance, she was so unreasonable and selfish, I put so much energy to make it work, I did lots of compromises, but to her none was even seen to her eyes, or appreciated.I keep having this tendency of get back to her, or try something to make it work. I know it sounds crazy, but this feelings keeps coming back to me, may be if I was finishing it, then it would have been easier for me, but I felt that she has treated me like a piece of junk, such a bad feeling, it is like a storm inside me, but I am trying very hard to keep the face. I have tried to keep busy, hang around with friends, doing new things, and even went to counselling, all has help a bit, but I feel this is a nightmare that doesn’t go away from my life. Today is Valentines day, it is love day, but my heart is broken to pieces....Please tell me what I should be doing? Thanks very much
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female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (14 February 2007):
 Maybe it's for the better that she is not in your life any more. Now you will have time to heal, and you should continue to see your counselor and be with your friends.
It takes time for the heart to mend and it's painful, but keep your eye on the goal (inner peace) and know that if you don't go back to her, things can only get better for you.
As for being alone on Valentine's day; yes it sucks. Where I come from, it's called "the day for every heart" and you send cards not only to people that you are in love with, but also to your friends. Valentine's day is to celebrate love, and even if you're not with a girlfriend now, there's still love in your life. Take a single friend and go to the pub, watch a game of football or eat fish and chips and talk rubbish. That's love too, even though it's a different kind.
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (14 February 2007):
 hi
i dont know if what i would say will make it better. anyway i think you are just going thru what everyone who came out of a bad relationship go thru so you are not the first to feel this way it is understandable and it is natural, but the question is do you really want to sit and mop around in such a beautiful day because your ex is no longer with you? learn to accept that and move on it wasnt meant to be and by the look of things i think is good riddens unless you still want to be her toy.
you seem like a good writer, what you need to do is to take a pen and notebook or you can use your pc and write/type all the pain you are feeling right now be honest with yourself when you are done reread those pages for atleast twice and believe me you will never feel the same again. i know it sound stupid but it is the best therapy you can give yourself under the circumstances than wasting all your money into a professional therapy which is not helping because you cant open your heart to the healing process you need. remember those people need your help in order to help you.
life is full of miseries and more opportunities and it is your job to grab those opportunities to put your miseries to shame. today is valentine's day yes but who said you need your ex to make it special? the fact that she is in the past means today belongs to you and its the beginning of new memories. if you want to mark this day with new beautiful memories the ball is in your court, go out there and meet new people or a ball or something to cheer yourself up but please stop feeling sorry for yourself its not working for u. the choice is yours. hope you gonna make the one that makes you happy.
jovial
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A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (14 February 2007):
hi
i dont know if what i would say will make it better. anyway i think you are just going thru what everyone who came out of a bad relationship go thru so you are not the first to feel this way it is understandable and it is natural, but the question is do you really want to sit and mop around in such a beautiful day because your ex is no longer with you? learn to accept that and move on it wasnt meant to be and by the look of things i think is good riddens unless you still want to be her toy.
you seem like a good writer, what you need to do is to take a pen and notebook or you can use your pc and write/type all the pain you are feeling right now be honest with yourself when you are done reread those pages for atleast twice and believe me you will never feel the same again. i know it sound stupid but it is the best therapy you can give yourself under the circumstances than wasting all your money into a professional therapy which is not helping because you cant open your heart to the healing process you need. remember those people need your help in order to help you.
life is full of miseries and more opportunities and it is your job to grab those opportunities to put your miseries to shame. today is valentine's day yes but who said you need your ex to make it special? the fact that she is in the past means today belongs to you and its the beginning of new memories. if you want to mark this day with new beautiful memories the ball is in your court, go out there and meet new people or a ball or something to cheer yourself up but please stop feeling sorry for yourself its not working for u. the choice is yours. hope you gonna make the one that makes you happy.
jovial
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A
female
reader, NuttyGooner +, writes (14 February 2007):
 Eve - I couldn't have put it better myself!
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (14 February 2007):
 It's horrible when we put our "all" into a relationship and get nothing back in return. You have obviously thought about all of this carefully and you can SEE for yourself how it was all very one sided, you putting in all the effort and her just using you and disgarding you the way she did! The good thing to come out of this is -
1. YOU REALISE YOU HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE THE RIGHT PERSON
2. YOU SEEN HER FOR WHAT SHE REALLY WAS! A USER
Now you know these two things you can now move on and find the RIGHT person for you. Now... you can sit there and wallow in your own grief or you can DO something about it! Learn from this experience, stand firm and say to yourself that you will never let that happen to you again! You sound a wonderful person who is kind, caring and intelligent. You have soooooo much to give the right person. Build up your confidence now, block her from your mind, don't let it get you down for one more minute. It's gone, in the past, finished! MOVE ON now and do the things you've always wanted to do. Here is a link I give to lots of people who need to be built up. It's a movie called "The Secret" it's a wonderful movie and you can watch it for $4.95 (£2.50) right away. It is not a scam and I don't get anything for telling you this, but it has changed so many lives in the past and it can change yours too.
http://thesecret.tv/home.html
You see we are exactly what we THINK we are. If you think you are hopeless and a loser in love (which of course you're not, you may just think that) then you are! If you know you are a wonderful person with so much love to give the right person then you ARE! It's all about the law of attraction which the film will tell you more about. It's changed people's lives!
Here is another link for you to help you regain some of the confidence you once had. She's obviously knocked your confidence for six.
http://pickbrains.com/how-do-i-build-up-my-confidence
Read what it says. You have all you need inside of you to get out there and do whatever you desire! You ARE strong, you ARE a wonderful person and your ex didn't deserve you, plain and simple!
Now go out there and show the world that you are proud of who you are! Keep in touch and let me know what you think of the movie okay love?
YOU CAN ACHIEVE WHATEVER YOU WANT TO! :o)
Eve
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