A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have fallen for a friend that i have known for ages. we grew up together and recently my feelings for her have grown to the point where i can't stop thinking about her. we are really close, even our families think we are seeing each other. i want to tell her but can't seem to find the right time to and i can't seem to find a way of telling her. i also don't want to ruin the good friend relationship we have if it all goes wrong...........HELP!!!!!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (15 February 2007):
 I think the chemistry will be there with her too, especially as your families think you are seeing one another. I would continue exactly as you are with her, ask her out for a meal one night or to a movie. I'm sure you'll get the vibes from her that she likes you. Does she hold your gaze longer than she used to? Does she give you admiring glances when she thinks you're not looking? Does she laugh at your jokes louder than anyone else?
Could be she's just waiting for YOU to take it to the next level. Go on.... take a deep breath here and go for it. I don't think she'll rebuke you.
Eve
A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (15 February 2007):
 If you are that close with her then I think you can sit down with her and ask her what she thinks about the idea. She will not jump up and run out screaming. You are friends and have the possibility of becoming much more than just friends.
My wife has been my best friend for 27 years.
If I had not asked her I never would have found out.
Don't make her feel cornered but ask her friend to friend. She will let you know.
And I would wager you will probably be quite surprised. Doc.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (15 February 2007):
 I think you're too old now to ruin a friendship just if the object of your affection doesn't feel the same way. Yes it will be embarassing for a few seconds if she rejects you but then it will be over and things will go back to normal. My guess is that it hasn't been the right moment yet just because there hasn't been a right moment. Persist and you'll find it. As for how to say it if you're feeling insecure try and make it funny but truthful... something like "Damn you X, I wish I wasn't so attracted to you. It makes it hard to focus on the boring stuff" or something like that. If you decide to take the serious route just tell it to her straight "Hey X, recently I've had feelings for you and I've tried to keep them to myself but I can't do that anymore and I'd like to know if you feel the same way" Good luck!
CD
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